Still not "over it"

My miscarriage happened about 2 months ago... which I guess is not a very long time but somehow it seems like an eternity ago. I don't think I've ever endured something so emotionally wrenching before. And I feel like the universe is rubbing everyone else's problem-free pregnancies in my face. I sometimes wonder if I did something bad in life that warranted something this horrible happening to me. I know that's ridiculous but the thought occurs to me every once in a while... did I do something to deserve this?

Thanks for listening ... I guess I'm just feeling down and wanted to share with people who can understand.

Message edited 9/30/2009 11:19:40 PM.

Re: Still not "over it"

I have felt this way before, often. Time heals all...I promise!

Re: Still not "over it"

it takes time but it will get easier and you will feel better

Re: Still not "over it"

Sorry you are feeling down.


I think it is def normal to go through a mix of emotions. However, there is not something you have done to deserve this!!!

It time you willl heal.

Re: Still not "over it"

I really think that while time does heal, you are never completely "over it". I had a m/c in March, got pregnant via IVF with twins in May and one of the babies stopped growing at 7 weeks. While I am extremely fortunate and very happy to be pregnant with one healthy baby right now, every now and then I still get sad when I think about the two babies I lost. I would have been due in October if I didn't m/c the first pregnancy and I have felt very emotional recently thinking how I would have been due in a few weeks.

Re: Still not "over it"

I have felt the exact same way many times. DH always asks are we such bad people that we deserve all these hardships?? I have to belive that there must be another reason that this occurs and it's not a punishment. Hang in there and 2 months really isn't that long of a time so don't beat yourself up over it!

Re: Still not "over it"

Mine only happened 2 months ago and Im not over it. I just cried about it yesterday. The fact that I would have been so close to my Level 2 right now is killing me

These things take time and even after that, you will never forget. I had/have the same feelings of "why me, what did I do to deserve this?" I think thats completely normal

Re: Still not "over it"

I M/C 2 months ago also. I have the same feelings, as if I did something to deserve this. .. I'm hoping when we get pregnant again it will get a little easier for us, but I'm just not to sure.

I'm glad I can come on here though and talk about it, and not be put down. SIL M/C in feb. of this year, and got pregnant again in March, she's due in the beginning of November, but when DH told her we M/C it was like it wasn't a big deal. I mean she may be putting on a face for everybody, but it's like it didn't even faze her, she looks at me all crazy when I say I miss our little angel. I'm just glad to have you girls

Re: Still not "over it"

For me, I dont' think that I will ever get "over it." Just like many other tragedies, the grieving process does get easier with time but it will alway be there deep inside my heart. I think you're doing ok. It's not ridiculous to have questions and place blame on yourself, only natural, part of the process. I'm still on my emotional roller coaster as this week, I would have been due, delivering my first baby from my first pregnancy. I guess I'm not "over it" either. Hang in there and lots of to get you through the day.

Re: Still not "over it"

I totally get what you're saying about how it feels like an eternity ago, and yet it still hurts as though it happened yesterday. Today I have my gyno appointment and it was originally set as my first ultrasound. So yeah, I'm feeling the hardship today. Just thinking back to how excited I once was about October coming so that i could hear that little heart... and now everything's changed

I have definitely healed emotionally, meaning that I don't feel as MUCH pain as i did before, but I'm still hurting. I do believe that it will get better though. Maybe none of us will really "get over it" completely, but it will get better.

And of course you did NOTHING to deserve this. Nobody does anything to deserve losing their child. I don't believe that at all. But it's normal to feel that way. I, too, have questioned why this happened. Especially when I think about how I'm so much more healthier and responsible than others that I've seen with healthy pregnancies. It doesn't seem fair and i don't understand it. I don't think I ever will.

Re: Still not "over it"

I totally get what you are saying...all this started happening early July for me and I'm certainly not over it yet.

But not matter what you are not a bad person and you are not being punished None of us are.

Hey maybe we all were just meant to meet and become really good friends!

Re: Still not "over it"

Thanks ladies!

Re: Still not "over it"

Posted by KrisT

I really think that while time does heal, you are never completely "over it". I had a m/c in March, got pregnant via IVF with twins in May and one of the babies stopped growing at 7 weeks. While I am extremely fortunate and very happy to be pregnant with one healthy baby right now, every now and then I still get sad when I think about the two babies I lost. I would have been due in October if I didn't m/c the first pregnancy and I have felt very emotional recently thinking how I would have been due in a few weeks.

Re: Still not "over it"

It is ok to be upset about it. I lost DS#1 almost 2 YEARS ago and I broke down in the shower thinking about him this morning.

Many many hugs to you!

Re: Still not "over it"

you are not alone.. i am still not over my loss almost 2 years ago.. i still once in a while will cry over my angel..
the pain never goes away..

but i do promise you it does get better.. just give yourself as much time as you need to heal.. nobody can tell you different

Re: Still not "over it"

Re: Still not "over it"

I totally understand where you're coming from. And although I know none of us have done anything to "deserve this" it hasn't stopped me from having thoughts like that. I agree with PPs though...that time will probably (hopefully) make it easier to deal with.