Strange comment/observation...with a question...

Last night DH & I went to a party. At this party are 2 couples who are recently engaged and getting married in 2009. At one point a comment was made that back in our parents' generation, a one carat ring was considered a "good size," but now it seems like two carats is a "good size" (please do not comment on this b/c it is neither the point or from my mouth....bear with me I am getting to the point). So the person who made this observation actually said to DH & I that we should put $$ aside for our DS so that he will not have to break the bank in 20 - 30 years when 3 carats will be a "good size" if you follow their logic.

Now I never thought of doing this, but I guess it makes sense since traditionally people put away $ for their daughters' weddings (and sons' weddings as well).

So my point....Is this something that might be worth it? If I put $1,000 - $2,000 into a CD & kept rolling it, do you think it would cover the cost of a ring if he needs it in 20 - 30 years, or is it silly....

He already has a trust, a CD that I roll for incidentals and an education fund.

Re: Strange comment/observation...with a question...

uhm, no. The day that DS decides to get engaged, he will have to work and save his OWN money to do so.

And imo, I don't think I'd be too happy if I knew that my MIL gave DH money for my ring. I would feel the following 1) like I owed her something, 2) like it really wasn't mine, 3) he was a momma's boy and why couldn't he save his own money to buy my ring and 4) it would be impersonal (I wouldn't want MIL to have any part of the ring picking/purchasing process.

With that said, I know you were just asking so

Re: Strange comment/observation...with a question...

What if he turns out to bat for the other team, and/or never ever wants to get married??? Can he keep the cash?

I think its just silly full stop, if your son wants to buy a diamond in 30 years, I think he can pay for it himself. Money saved up by your parents and handed down through generations IMO should be for more important things, a down payment on a house, a college education. How important is it to you that your son buys his fiance a big engagement ring to you? If this is very important to you...well, I have no words. Its just not my thing and its not important to me personally.

(and again, this is not your son, but just again, the proverbial your son and the proverbial you)

Re: Strange comment/observation...with a question...

i totally see your point about wedding and girls but i truly believe in the fact that a man should save up for a ring...i dont know why i just think it is more special but i guess some people pass rings down soo,.....

well i have a brother, he saved and bought his own ring, my parents paid for my wedding but for my brothers wedding they gave him a VERY generous gift to make it equal...

but i thing a 1 K ring is wonderful....thats what i have and i love it...nothign against anyone with one bigger or smaller, i just think whatever someone can afford is greaT!!!

Message edited 1/28/2008 5:41:11 PM.

Re: Strange comment/observation...with a question...

I say keep the education fund - and let him pay for his own engagement ring.

If the time comes - down the road and he asks to borrow money from you - well, that's another thing.

But - if he's mature enough to get married - he should be mature enough to pay for his own engagement ring!

Can you tell that I NEVER want Jack to get married!

Re: Strange comment/observation...with a question...

I dont think anyone is trying to beat you up over this, it actually was a great thought..at FIRST...

Re: Strange comment/observation...with a question...

Ok, I thought I was just missing something. Since DH paid for my ring & DH & I paid for our own wedding, I have no idea what is *usual* or expected. He has his trust, his education fund and a CD so far. Once he is old enough to spend his own money we will open a savings account for him, so I *thought* we were prepared, but the comment last night made me

And I did say to DH what if he plays for the other team.....that is pretty much where the conversation ended

Re: Strange comment/observation...with a question...

OK - I'm about to show everyone why I don't get invited to too many parties, because the 1st thing out of my mouth would be, "What if he's gay? Then he may not even care about buying a diamond ring for someone..."

Re: Strange comment/observation...with a question...