Strange Situation

A little background...I have been at my job forever and I work in a small dept. with the owner of the company and two other full time people. One guy has been here as long as I have and we are very good friends - outside of work and with our SO's. The other is a woman who has been here about three months.
So, his birthday is tomorrow and I called his S/O for some ideas for a gift - we exchange gifts just like regular friends.
Anyway, I get off the phone and the woman comes up to me and tells me she wants to join me in giving the gift.

Now, obviously I feel weird telling her no - I mean it's a nice gesture...but now do I get him a whole other gift that's just from me and DH?

Re: Strange Situation

You could go in on a gift card with your coworker. Maybe for Starbucks or Barnes and Noble. Then you can always get something separate from you and your DH.

Re: Strange Situation

I can't beleive noone thinks it's weird that she wants to go in on a gift...I must be the crazy one....

Re: Strange Situation

I may be in the minority, but I personally hate chipping in on gifts with other people, even if I have a close relationship with them. My past experiences with this have not been good and I would just prefer to buy my own gift, with whatever amount I have budgeted for.

I do think it is odd that she offered this idea after eavesdropping on your conversation. I'd probably just tell her I planned on getting something just from DH and I and leave it at that.

Re: Strange Situation

Maybe you can do something small with her - like bring him in breakfast or take him to lunch? Then move forward with your regular gift from you and DH.

Re: Strange Situation

Re: Strange Situation

Posted by Gertyrae


Thank God I don't feel all alone on this...I'm thinking - Why is she even offering this.

Message edited 10/18/2007 12:22:58 PM.

Re: Strange Situation

Maybe because she's new, she want to be part of the "group".

Maybe suggest to her a small token gift might be more appropriate. Or maybe she can bake something or bring in goodies the day of his bday.

Re: Strange Situation

Posted by Gertyrae

I can't beleive noone thinks it's weird that she wants to go in on a gift...I must be the crazy one....

Re: Strange Situation

I would offer to chip in for a co-worker's gift - if I thought it was a co-worker thing.

I think it's nice for her to offer - unless she knows that you're friends outside of the office, then I think it's strange.

Re: Strange Situation

I think it's nice for her to offer. She is relatively new and trying to do the right thing and fit in. I would do something small with her and then get your own gift.

Re: Strange Situation

She may have worked in "bigger" companies were it is customary to open your wallet everyday to contribute to someone's bday/retirement/shower, etc..

She probably thought it would be appropriate to offer to participate.

What is odd is that she offered after hearing your telephone conversation on the phone.

Message edited 10/18/2007 1:00:58 PM.

Re: Strange Situation

We all chip in for cake, cookies, etc....this was an aside thing.

I feel weird telling her to buy something on her own, so I'm just going to get a small thing for him from both of us and a seperate regular gift from DH and I.

Re: Strange Situation

Re: Strange Situation

Posted by nrthshgrl

Posted by Gertyrae

We all chip in for cake, cookies, etc....this was an aside thing.

I feel weird telling her to buy something on her own, so I'm just going to get a small thing for him from both of us and a seperate regular gift from DH and I.

and add...stop easedropping on my phone conversations.