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rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
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stupid things people say to you
help me feel I am not alone. What are some of the stupid things, "well meaning" people say to you.
Today at the MD office the receptionist says "Time for another", so I reply with answer #1 I am enjoying this one for now, and response "Yeah but what happens is you'll wait so long you wont want anymore"
Last week (and every week for that matter)... security guard at work says, "I keep telling you its time for another" He gets response #2, "when this one is old enough to help". His reply: "But he is already"
Few months ago: Doctor at work says when are you going to have another? She got response #3 "Who knows?" her repsonse: You have to have another, trust me, I was an only child and it was teribble"
Message edited 10/10/2006 9:05:43 PM.
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Posted 10/10/06 9:04 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name: Donna
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Re: stupid things people say to you
You are wayyy too nice. I would have said to EACH of them...YES IT IS, I agree but I dont finacially have the means since fertility treatments are so costly and time consuming, so if you chip in, I would be more then happy to get right to it!
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Posted 10/10/06 9:30 PM |
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juju
Welcome to the World!
Member since 5/05 6747 total posts
Name:
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Re: stupid things people say to you
Most recently from FIL's GF "YOur doing IVF......How are you going to afford Twins or triplets?"
Another common one: "Have you considered Clomid?" As if it is the cure-for-all for IF issues. It's not going to help my hydrosalphinx.
yet, another: " Just relax" my reply: "I am relaxed" her response: "Well, sometimes you think you are relaxed but you're not"
Another comment from another person: "I got pregnant b/c I always get what I want." Geez, I guess I really do not want a child.
ETA: not sure if these were well-meaning. Sounds plain Rude to me.
Message edited 10/10/2006 9:40:57 PM.
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Posted 10/10/06 9:40 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name: Donna
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Re: stupid things people say to you
OMG Judy...I must have heard the " have you tried Clomid" ten times ....Thats a good one!
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Posted 10/10/06 9:41 PM |
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CellarDweller
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 1562 total posts
Name: Jennifer
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Re: stupid things people say to you
I'll second "just relax." I can't count how many times I've heard that if I just "let the stress go" I'll get pg.
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Posted 10/10/06 9:45 PM |
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rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
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Re: stupid things people say to you
Posted by juju
Another comment from another person: "I got pregnant b/c I always get what I want." Geez, I guess I really do not want a child.
oh thats a nice one
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Posted 10/10/06 11:15 PM |
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krashnburn
I am Batman!
Member since 5/05 4093 total posts
Name: I'm Batman, I tell you!
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Re: stupid things people say to you
Those are some really horrible things to hear
PS I am an only child. I was spoiled to the max and loved every minute of it!
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Posted 10/11/06 8:20 AM |
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LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis
Member since 8/06 11613 total posts
Name: L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)
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Re: stupid things people say to you
Posted by MrsBSD
I'll second "just relax." I can't count how many times I've heard that if I just "let the stress go" I'll get pg.
Ha! Me too! Even DH says that to me! And my mom, who had IF issues herself!!
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Posted 10/11/06 8:26 AM |
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dooodles
When you wish upon a star
Member since 5/05 11997 total posts
Name: Because 2 people fell in love
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Re: stupid things people say to you
Oh jeez! People do say the dumbest things don't they? I am so sorry they said these painful things to you.
Just last week I got "This is god's plan for you". ummm, why is his plan for me to continuously suffer? Wasn't losing my son enough
You need to relax (yeah, been there - done that - still not PG)
You and DH need a relaxing weekend away (hello, we just did this last month)
You should go see MY doctor because obviously your not getting anywhere
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE??? Why is everyone else an expert on us???
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Posted 10/11/06 8:41 AM |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name: Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: stupid things people say to you
Ughhhh...don't even get me started!!
I just got to the point where I would tell people what I was going through just to make them embarrassed and uncomfortable.
I'm a byatch
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Posted 10/11/06 8:51 AM |
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Donna
1 year already!!
Member since 5/05 3360 total posts
Name: Donna
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Re: stupid things people say to you
I'm sorry Pauline!! It does suck, and unfortunately we all have heard some stupid ones...
A few of mine -
"You're going to be 36 - what are you waiting for?"
"Just relax it will happen"
"It's all in your head"
and I think the most hurtful/stupid - " Look at your husband with the baby, why don't you give him one?"
people suck sometimes....
to all
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Posted 10/11/06 8:55 AM |
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Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
Name: God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
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Re: stupid things people say to you
My brother, knowing that our last shot for a long time (and possibly forever naturally) says "are you PG?" to which I said "no" and he said "my wife and I were talking about you and your DH, imagine you end up with 6 kids at once, that's almost worse than not having kids...maybe you shouldn't have kids".
Thanks azzhole.
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Posted 10/11/06 8:57 AM |
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name: Kathy
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Re: stupid things people say to you
I got so sick of people and their comments that I just started saying things like "we're trying and we're having trouble getting pregnant" or "I'm seeing a reproductive endochronologist..." (most people dont even know what that is so they leave it alone.
I got to the point where I wanted to make THEM feel bad for asking such a question. I also didnt care if people knew we were having trouble or going to an RE. Because believe me, once I started being really blunt, those people never asked me again WHY we werent having kids yet.
I'm sorry Pauline, I know its so hard. People dont realize how hurtful they are being.
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Posted 10/11/06 9:25 AM |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name: Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: stupid things people say to you
Another one I thought of...
it will happen when G-d feels its the right time for you
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Posted 10/13/06 8:20 AM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name: Donna
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Re: stupid things people say to you
Posted by LisaW
Another one I thought of...
it will happen when G-d feels its the right time for you
OH I have a spin off...My aunt actually said to me" Maybe it wasnt in Gods plan for you to have children"
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Posted 10/13/06 8:46 AM |
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-Laurie-
Hi!
Member since 5/05 2536 total posts
Name:
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Re: stupid things people say to you
After knowing the lack of care (didn't see an OB at our office till I was pushing and my discharged at 6cms the day I delievered) from my pregnancy with my son and the insurance/referral problems with the past 4 miscarriages I hear "Well it's probably because the military wants to make sure its really the military members baby before they start paying for treatments... you know how it is!"
to my husband "wow, she's a little crazy with these betas and pregnancy tests she should just let time pass and relax she'll stay pregnant that way she's just jinxing herself, she only 6 weeks in the olden days I wouldn't have even known I was pregnant, wow, maybe I had a bunch of miscarriages also"
"Wow, you would have had a 2 year old and infant, God was doing you a favor, I'll take your dog.. a dog and another child would be too much for you"
*** that was a direct quote from one of the outlaws who by the way was a DES daughter and had her own issues and also has children 10 months and then 11 months apart in age give or take.
And you ladies know I'm pretty laid back about our infertility problem as of the past few months.
Sorry ladies
Message edited 10/13/2006 11:15:58 AM.
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Posted 10/13/06 11:13 AM |
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rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
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Re: stupid things people say to you
Laurie. Those are some mean things to hear.
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Posted 10/13/06 11:15 AM |
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-Laurie-
Hi!
Member since 5/05 2536 total posts
Name:
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Re: stupid things people say to you
Posted by rose825
Laurie. Those are some mean things to hear.
Thanks luckily she's just a nut and part of her reason for saying that crap is because she doesn't like that her Grandson lives in Florida (we have no choice her son is in the military)and not closer to her. So she'd rather us have problems and not have another child. We could be living in overseas, she needs to just suck it up. She's known for saying crazy stuff because she doens't think. It's just sad though when it comes from family. I ran into my hairdresser the other night and she knows what's going on and heard from a friend about the latest miscarriage she ran up to me, gave me a hug and her response was "Laur, this just sucks your supposed to get a BFP and be happy about it and instead you feel you can't be because in 2-3 weeks you know you'll miscarry, I'm praying for you sweetie!!"
It's amazing how IF really brings people together, it's often not spoken about but when you find the right person they can really be a breathe of fresh air.
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Posted 10/13/06 11:23 AM |
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cjik
Welcome 2010!
Member since 2/06 8879 total posts
Name:
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Re: stupid things people say to you
I don't understand why relative strangers feel free to comment on child status, or the lack thereof. I get these comments also, though since we have no kids yet the comments are a bit different, though it's the same idea.
It bothers me, but I usually don't say much of anything, just a vague, "Maybe one day." I wish I could get up the nerve to tell some people I've been trying for months and it's going nowhere, but I just can't do it.
Try not to let it bother you though. Some people are just too ignorant or foolish to realize that these comments sting.
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Posted 10/15/06 8:36 PM |
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anonMom
LIF Infant
Member since 8/05 127 total posts
Name:
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Re: stupid things people say to you
Because my son is 2 yrs old I get asked everywhere I go and by everyone I see when am I going to have another?
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Posted 10/15/06 8:47 PM |
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