Tell me I am not just pms-y and being nasty..

Do you ever feel like when you get upset that you have to go through all this crap that people just say the stupidist things.

Like I just got AF and I know that I will hear on Thursday that we have to do IUI or DH gets surgery and I had a really bad night on Tuesday.. crying and feeling bad for myself... and my mom and my sister just brush it off and says "but the end result is a baby so you shouldn't be upset". What about grieving for the loss of just ttc and getting pg naturally???, what about still grieving for the baby I should be very pregnant with right now and giving birth to in May???

I know I will do IUI and hopefully that will be what I need. But what if it isn't? What if there are other problems? I am scared and in one week I start this crazy scary journey and I just want people to stop telling me to be sad. I want to be sad. After Thursday I know I will stand up and do what has to be done. But I am really hormonal now and I just want to be sad. This isn't how any of us wanted it to be.

I can't even imagine how many stupid things people say to you ladies... and I fear that I might have some stupid things to people and not realized it. I guess you have to go through it to realize what you are saying to someone might hurt.

Thanks for reading this..

Re: Tell me I am not just pms-y and being nasty..

Oh I know exactly how you feel Don't listen to me though since DH and I keep everything (our problems) to ourselves. When people/family ask what's going on we basically change the subject or say "soon, soon" just to shut them up.
My advice is to let everyone say what they want, only you and your DH truly know the pain that you are going through. Don't let them ruin your spirit. Let the comments just slide off your back as hard as it is.

Re: Tell me I am not just pms-y and being nasty..

I also haven't told anyone in my family about what we're going through... Whenever people make comments in my family - like my MIL wanting to make me a baby blanket, or my SIL announcing her 3rd pregnancy and then being told by my IL's that the "wrong child" announced their pregnancy - I just smile!
Oh an then there's my mother who when I tried to mention something recently to her - she said I was "blowing things out of proportion!" Well, that ended that convo pretty fast!
Then I go home and CRY!!
It's VERY difficult!!
You are allowed to be sad if you want to be!!

Re: Tell me I am not just pms-y and being nasty..

I know how you feel. Once we became patients of an RE, we lost the intimacy of being able to be with each other to create a child. Instead, DH got to be with a cup and I got to be with a lab tech, a doctor and a catheter. You are allowed to mourn - that was the hardest part of it. As grateful that I am for the existence of modern medicine and science to make our dreams come true, a part of me will always feel a little a sense of loss of intimacy.

Re: Tell me I am not just pms-y and being nasty..

Thanks

Re: Tell me I am not just pms-y and being nasty..

I can relate to all of your thoughts and feelings about dealing with IF issues. Since you are at the beginning of your journey, all I can tell you is that you will find strength and courage that you never thought you had to get through all of this. Hopefully it will all just be a bad memory for all of us once we have our babies.

Re: Tell me I am not just pms-y and being nasty..

I do hope you all reach the end of your journey and the result is exactly what you want.
I think sometimes people dk what to say.
it sucks..from beginning to end.

Re: Tell me I am not just pms-y and being nasty..

We have all been there. Realizing that you are going to need help getting pregnant is one of the hardest things you will ever have to deal with. It is no longer an act of love between you and your husband, its needles, doctors, and medications. It sucks.

People who have not been through it are can be both naive and ignorant and say the wrong things, not realizing how hurtful they are being. It is a very difficult road, but I promise you, you will find the strength to get through it. And we all be here if you need to vent, cry, whatever!

Hang in there.

ETA: I am so sorry for your loss. Many of us have been down that road, too, unfortunately.

Message edited 3/28/2008 8:49:26 AM.

Re: Tell me I am not just pms-y and being nasty..

You have all the right in the world to be sad and you'll realize people just have no idea what to say, especially people who had no trouble getting pregnant. Cry, scream, yell, do what you have to do to get the frustration out of your system. Then focus on your upcoming treatment and think about the "plan" you have. It always helped me to know what was next, like if this doesn't work- what's next. I know that's not a popular mindset, but I am a planner and I needed to know what path I was on. You'll find your own way of coping and some days are definately worse then others. Best of luck to you for this IUI