Telling a friend something about the apperance.

I have a good friend who has horrible teeth. Like rotting out of her mouth. They are gross. Ive known her my whole life and I have a hard time talking to her without looking or getting grossed out. I could imagine what other people think.

She is always complaining that she can't find a great guy and I truly think if she fixed her teeth shed meet a great guy (I know that sounds horrible)

I want to tell her so bad. But so afraid of hurting her feelings.

Re: Telling a friend something about the apperance.

Hmm. thats a toughy. You may really insult her. I am sure she is aware of the problem and in her defense, its not cheap to get teeth fixed, or at least the kind of work she is going to need. Maybe she is having financial issues and doesn't really have a choice. I know my teeth stink, because I was very sick as a baby and it drained all the calcium out of my teeth and I am getting and need a lot more work. It is very expensive. I am taking it one tooth at a time. My mouth is such an investment, so far I have spent over $5K.

Re: Telling a friend something about the apperance.

I would not tell her that her teeth are the reason she can't meet someone. Even though you are probably right. If she has a mirror, she knows what they look like. Maybe she can't afford to get the dental work done? It can be really expensive.

I might say something like "have you considered seeing a dentist about your teeth, I am worried about you. They seem to be deteriating." I wouldn't mention anything about guys though. Even though you mean well it might come off bad.

Good luck, I am sure if you handle it with concern it will be ok.

Re: Telling a friend something about the apperance.

be very careful what you say......you don't want to hurt your friends feelings. i know i had the WORST teeth on the face of the earth for forever. but, no one ever put braces on them when i was younger and so before the wedding i decided to do it for myself. it cost a TON- we're talking an excess of $7500- not to mention the surgery i had to have to make my mouth bigger, etc....not a fun experience!!! and that cost even more money.
but, i always knew they were bad....i had to get myself to the point where i could deal with it on my own. i know you may think that's why she hasn't met anyone, but i have to believe that all men aren't that shallow. i'm sure she's a great person and just hasn't met the right person yet. when he comes along he won't care what her teeth are like....my husband proposed to me prior to the straightening out of my mouth.....and didn't even know i had made an appt to get them looked at. besides, she should want to do it for herself (if she has the ability), not for some guy!! GOOD LUCK!!!! you're a good friend though for wanting to help her!

Re: Telling a friend something about the apperance.

Re: Telling a friend something about the apperance.

Ok Ill tell you all what brought this on. She has low self esteem (her teeth have to do with it Im sure) She met a guy who came here from Holland to visit her. Hes been here since July 4th (theve talked on the internet for 2 years) She told me yesterday that she got engaged. I feel like she takes whatever comes along because of her self esteem. She has an 8 year old and was married for a year and engaged one other time.

Re: Telling a friend something about the apperance.

Please don't think Im shallow about looks cause im not. Look at me. Im not so great im overweight.

Re: Telling a friend something about the apperance.

Re: Telling a friend something about the apperance.

its hard b/c you never know how someone is going to take something. i say tell her in the gentlest way possible. not mentioning how it looks to others or guys, cause you care more about her and not just her teeth

Re: Telling a friend something about the apperance.

I understand exactly what you're saying and you're not being shallow AT ALL. Maybe you can try hinting at it, by saying something about how you have to go to teh dentist, etc etc, or you have another friend who got her teeth fixed and she looks great and has all this confidence. It may not be the best way, but I can't think of a good way to say "hey, you have gross teeth!"

Re: Telling a friend something about the apperance.

If she is a close friend she should be able to talk to you about it. But I like the , I'm concerned about you approach. Bad dental hygiene actually can lead to alot of other serious health problems-not just cosmetic.