Telling kids about your pet's death?

How do we go about telling our 4.5 year about our one dog's death?

We came back from being out of town this weekend to find one of our Siberian Huskies with an open chest wound. We brought her to the Pet ER and ended up having to put her down this morning. The wound started out very small and then spread quickly from Nercosis (?). It was an 8"x10" wound. They said the only chance she had was a skin graft. There was nothing else we could do for her. She was in so much pain we just couldn't let her suffer anymore. It's been 2 days of crying but finally went through with it. She was the sweetest dog ever. It's so heartbreaking. We rescued her about 6 years ago. The conclusion is that she was bit by a copper head snake. The infection spread rapidly over a few days without anyone knowing. It ate at her skin. She has VERY thick fur being a husky so the wound wasn't seen. Even the vet thought she was going to be ok until they shaved/cut her hair back. It's been devasting. It happened so quick. She was one of our furbabies, part of the family.

Anyway, we haven't told Caiden yet. He's 4.5 years old. We're not sure what to tell him since he hasn't been around anything that has died. Any suggestions? Thanks!

Message edited 7/7/2008 4:00:37 PM.

Re: Telling kids about your pet's death?

I don't have any suggestions but I wanted to offer my condolences. I can only imagine how tough this must be on you and your family

Re: Telling kids about your pet's death?

Thanks so much! It's been very hard for us. We were just expecting 2 happy dogs to see us when we got home since we were away, but came home to that. It was so unexpected. I feel so guilty.

Re: Telling kids about your pet's death?

oh my goodness - I am so sorry

I haven't had to deal with this firsthand but when we lost our puppy back in Oct. my family had to tell all of my nieces and nephews. They told them that Molly went to heaven and was with the rest of our angels. They even include Molly in their prayers when they pray for their angels up in heaven.

We now have a little gravesite in the backyard for Molly and the boys went over and said a prayer to her a few weeks ago. They are all around the ages of Caiden!

I'm so sorry again for your loss!

Re: Telling kids about your pet's death?

I am so sorry to hear about your dog.

Re: Telling kids about your pet's death?

I'm so sorry about your doggie's passing :(

Just be honest w/him. When the last of my Mom's dogs died this spring, I brought Amber with me when I went there to bury her. At 1st, she was very confused/devastated but it has given her a very deep understanding of death. She knew the dog was sick and being that there are many elderly relatives in our family, that hard lesson was bound to happen at one point or another. I hated when her Father's Grandmother passed and they told her that "Grandma left". Left to where?? This kid is always asking where Grandma M went. What do I tell her?? At least with my Mom's dog, she understands that she is no longer with us and refers to her often without confusion. She "knows" what happened and is confortable with that knowledge. She even asked my Mom yesterday if my Mom felt the dog had a good life while she was alive..how deep is that?? Death is a part of life. She understands about cemetaries, etc. Maybe I should have tried to shield her a little more, but she's a smart cookie and I want her to feel that she can trust me to tell her the truth about all things, good or bad.

Re: Telling kids about your pet's death?

I'm so sorry about your loss.

Re: Telling kids about your pet's death?

I'm so sorry.

Well, I'm not a 4.5 year old, but I'll tell you what my husband did for me, and he's buried many pets through his whole life, so this must have been how his family always handled it. When my chameleon died, I was a wreck. It wasn't a furrbabby, but it was the first pet I'd ever had that died while in my care. My husband got a box and put a piece of his towel in it. Then he went to the fake ficus he used to sit on and got some wire cutters and cut off his favorite branch and put it in the box too. We through a couple other little things of his in. It was kind of a memorial box, to remember all his favorite things. I was 25 when we did this, but it actually helped.

Perhaps you could tell him that the dog went to sleep and didn't wake up and was in doggy heaven playing with the other puppies now. And that you should remember all the good times you had with him. Maybe you can have some sort of little memorial for your dog and put together some of his stuff and talk about your favorite things about the dog. Maybe he can draw of picture of the dog to put in with it.

I have a cat and dog now and I dread those days when I have to tell DS something happened to them.

Re: Telling kids about your pet's death?

when my parents dog died and a very good friend of ours dog died I simply told Molly the truth. That the dogs were very old (even if they are not super old, the kids don't know that really) and that they got very, very sick and that they went to Heaven. It is okay to be sad and miss them. It is okay to talk about them and ask me any questions.
She accepted that very easily and will talk about them and even pray for them.
I did not burst out crying or anything because I did not want her to feel that this was the most horrible thing ever. It is sad but I wanted her to know that she is okay and so are we.

I am very sorry for your lose!

Re: Telling kids about your pet's death?

Posted by krashnburn


I'm so sorry.

Well, I'm not a 4.5 year old, but I'll tell you what my husband did for me, and he's buried many pets through his whole life, so this must have been how his family always handled it. When my chameleon died, I was a wreck. It wasn't a furrbabby, but it was the first pet I'd ever had that died while in my care. My husband got a box and put a piece of his towel in it. Then he went to the fake ficus he used to sit on and got some wire cutters and cut off his favorite branch and put it in the box too. We through a couple other little things of his in. It was kind of a memorial box, to remember all his favorite things. I was 25 when we did this, but it actually helped.

Perhaps you could tell him that the dog went to sleep and didn't wake up and was in doggy heaven playing with the other puppies now. And that you should remember all the good times you had with him. Maybe you can have some sort of little memorial for your dog and put together some of his stuff and talk about your favorite things about the dog. Maybe he can draw of picture of the dog to put in with it.

I have a cat and dog now and I dread those days when I have to tell DS something happened to them.

Re: Telling kids about your pet's death?

Posted by headoverheels

Posted by krashnburn


I'm so sorry.

Well, I'm not a 4.5 year old, but I'll tell you what my husband did for me, and he's buried many pets through his whole life, so this must have been how his family always handled it. When my chameleon died, I was a wreck. It wasn't a furrbabby, but it was the first pet I'd ever had that died while in my care. My husband got a box and put a piece of his towel in it. Then he went to the fake ficus he used to sit on and got some wire cutters and cut off his favorite branch and put it in the box too. We through a couple other little things of his in. It was kind of a memorial box, to remember all his favorite things. I was 25 when we did this, but it actually helped.

Perhaps you could tell him that the dog went to sleep and didn't wake up and was in doggy heaven playing with the other puppies now. And that you should remember all the good times you had with him. Maybe you can have some sort of little memorial for your dog and put together some of his stuff and talk about your favorite things about the dog. Maybe he can draw of picture of the dog to put in with it.

I have a cat and dog now and I dread those days when I have to tell DS something happened to them.

i think what your husband did for you was wonderful however, i have to step in and say that i personally don't think it's a good idea for anyone to explain death by saying that they "went to sleep and didn't wake up." this will only make the child afraid of going to sleep.

i am not a mommy yet but i have some experience with this as i have two younger sisters and we have had animals in our home our whole lives. my parents never sugar coated death. they simply explained that the animal got very sick or hurt, and when that happens, sometimes they die and go to heaven.

your son will probably ask if that can happen to people too - he is self-centered at this age (all kids at that age are), so what he means is, will it happen to HIM. IMO, the best way to answer this is by saying that he is a big, strong, healthy boy and it will be a long long long time before he dies.

i am so sorry for your loss i read the story on the pets board and i am sending lots of for your sweet dog.

Re: Telling kids about your pet's death?

I'm so so so sorry for your loss!

When my cat passed away suddenly in his sleep I didn't think I would have to tell DD anything since she was only 17 months old. But she asked a few times and I told her he was somewhere else in the house. She kept asking and then would search the house for him. She was getting upset that she couldn't find him. I eventually broke down and told her the truth, whether or notshe really understood me, I don't know, but it made me feel better to tell her what really happened. She stopped asking and looking for him, but she will still look at his picture and talk about him.

HTH

Re: Telling kids about your pet's death?