Terrible night

sleeping on the couch. Or rather, the love seat. Shared with my 65 pound dog.
"Why?" You ask. "Why on Eartth would you banish yourself to such an evening of misery"?
To spare my husband the suffocation of a million dead rats in the air. Well, OK- I am no martyr. Really, it's to spare myself from his consant waking, gagging, huffing and puffing, and air freshner over spraying.

I would like to thank Maybeababyin08 for the awesome mental image.

My body is a septic disaster. Like an old abandoned sewar. Like in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, where they find the tomb. Past the rats.

Re: Terrible night

he did not break out the air freshener did he??

Re: Terrible night

I feel your pain!! DH wakes me up to tell me how loud I am, and how gross it is.

I keep telling him that I am like a glade wisp, I let out a puff of freshness every few minutes....he doesnt find the humor in it.


I am convinced that they smell so bad because we are all constipated, and the air has to pass the poop on its way out...so it takes some of its freshness with it

Re: Terrible night

Neener- there's a can of air freshner on his night table.

he so over sprays, it makes me gag.

I explained to him that the air has to swim by the last 3 months worth of poo, and that seems to make him gag more.
Meanwhile, I asked him the other day, after I was basking in the smell of someones fireplace- "If you could only smell one smell for the rest of your life, what would it be?"
His answer- "My own farts".
Hypocrite.

Re: Terrible night

Re: Terrible night

Posted by Maybeababyin08

can you tell that gas is a major topic in this house?

Re: Terrible night

Posted by Preguntas

Neener- there's a can of air freshner on his night table.

he so over sprays, it makes me gag.

I explained to him that the air has to swim by the last 3 months worth of poo, and that seems to make him gag more.
Meanwhile, I asked him the other day, after I was basking in the smell of someones fireplace- "If you could only smell one smell for the rest of your life, what would it be?"
His answer- "My own farts".
Hypocrite.

Re: Terrible night

Posted by Preguntas

Neener- there's a can of air freshner on his night table.

he so over sprays, it makes me gag.

I explained to him that the air has to swim by the last 3 months worth of poo, and that seems to make him gag more.
Meanwhile, I asked him the other day, after I was basking in the smell of someones fireplace- "If you could only smell one smell for the rest of your life, what would it be?"
His answer- "My own farts".
Hypocrite.

Re: Terrible night

this girl is too funny!

Re: Terrible night

Posted by Cakes

this girl is too funny!

Re: Terrible night

you crack me up!! if it makes you feel better i slept on the couch last night too...not cause of the dead rats (which i may add my husband freaks everytime i let one loose) but because i am a narcolept. i was watching tv and folding clothes one minute...and the next it was 3:30 in the morning and i was sleeping in between my husbands boxers and my socks!! LOL

Message edited 10/23/2007 10:37:22 AM.

Re: Terrible night

You are a model wife. My DH would kiss your feet and buy you flowers for subjecting yourself to such humble sleeping conditions. I just make my poor DH suffer . . . I told him he should love everything about me, including all "scents."

I only hit the couch one restless night when I could stop tossing and turning. The couch actually wasn't half bad!

Re: Terrible night

I need afull sized couch. It's the dog that does me in. She's way to big- makes me sleep on one square.
It is cute to have her all curled up on me though- with her head resting on my legs.
I am the #1 wife

Re: Terrible night

You are a much better wife than I am!! Although I was at my most toxic while we were on our cruise...in that tiny little cabin my poor DH!

Re: Terrible night

I love that we can talk about anything on this board and that I'm not alone!!!!!!!!!

Re: Terrible night

I just read through this whole thing, and I think my co-workers want to know why I am laughing loud as hell all by myself over here.

Btw, this place smells like feet. If Preguntas was considerate enough to take her scent out with her, why can't any of my co-workers be just as cool?

Dead rats = always going to be funny.

Re: Terrible night

I once tried to sleep on the couch to spare him and he came and got me and told me to come back to bed.

Sometimes I even gross myself out!