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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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that conversation yet again
with my neighbor. She was showing me the big cloth pads she had from the hospital when she had her kids (they're like 7 and 5 now). I said awwwww (doing this inside  but being polite). She says "someday you'll need one". I was polite, said, nah I don't think so. She said 'no?' I said no, dh and I are very content, and want to retire early.
She goes, you're young, you'll change your mind (yes folks again i'm doing but at this point i'm so used to hearing it I just tune out). She says 'dh and i felt the same way! then 3 years into marriage I was like well, ok. And the MAIN thing we thought was WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WHEN WE GET OLDER". 
Man, people are really thick sometimes. What if your kids turn out to be crackheads? What if they move to the Himalayas? Will they still take care of you?
Then I thought, you know, what if we couldn't conceive? Or lost a child?? It's a very sensitive thing, and you don't want to just discuss that with everyone! Sigh, no one thinks about that I guess when they ask these dumb things.
ok who's had this same exact conversation lately?
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Posted 6/10/10 8:34 PM  |
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maxsgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 2086 total posts
Name:
sarah
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Re: that conversation yet again
I just don't get people... its like they think the world revolves around procreating......theres more in life than having children.
AND i hate when people say, "what are you going to do when your older and need someone to take care of you?" um hello, maybe I can pay someone else to take care of me instead of spending it on add'l expense s that comes w/ having children
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| Posted 6/10/10 10:15 PM |
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KittyKatCopper
missing my handsome boy
Member since 3/09 1579 total posts
Name:
Kat - HamptonsBride (LIW)
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Re: that conversation yet again
I was asked if I had kids at a job interview...i answered "no"...didn't get the job...haha...maybe i should've said "yes"...and yes, i know this question is illegal....
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| Posted 6/10/10 10:40 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: that conversation yet again
OK-this is how clueless about kids I am--what are the cloth pads she was showing you?
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| Posted 6/11/10 11:45 AM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Re: that conversation yet again
Posted by KittyKatCopper
I was asked if I had kids at a job interview...i answered "no"...didn't get the job...haha...maybe i should've said "yes"...and yes, i know this question is illegal....
i was asked in a phone interview once if i was married. i was caught off guard and answered 'yes'. dh flipped and was like ***** it's illegal!
Now i guess if it came up again I don't know what i'd say! You want the job. If you say 'i decline to answer' they know off the bat you're probably a ****** and won't want you! So what do you do??
BTW why the f aren't men asked these questions? but that's for another topic...
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| Posted 6/11/10 12:19 PM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Re: that conversation yet again
Posted by tourist
OK-this is how clueless about kids I am--what are the cloth pads she was showing you?
Hard to explain. I work in hospitals so I use them all the time on incontinent people in bed, they're known as 'chucks'. Its like a waterproof cotton pad, thats washable, soft cotton on one side, and like a nylon on the other.
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| Posted 6/11/10 12:20 PM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Re: that conversation yet again
Posted by tourist
OK-this is how clueless about kids I am--what are the cloth pads she was showing you?
this is it:Image Attachment(s):
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| Posted 6/11/10 12:26 PM |
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maxsgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 2086 total posts
Name:
sarah
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Re: that conversation yet again
Posted by Mushesgirl
BTW why the f aren't men asked these questions? but that's for another topic...
DH was actually asked on an interview if he was married, had kids, etc.. THey even went as far as to ask what my occupation was for and what I was currently going to school for.
In the end he got the job but not really sure what any of that had to do with me
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| Posted 6/11/10 2:57 PM |
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Bellaocchi
Hope Faith Love
Member since 2/07 5694 total posts
Name:
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Re: that conversation yet again
As someone else posted... I always get "Who will take care of you when you get old"?
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| Posted 6/12/10 1:10 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: that conversation yet again
Posted by maxsgirl
Posted by Mushesgirl
BTW why the f aren't men asked these questions? but that's for another topic...
DH was actually asked on an interview if he was married, had kids, etc.. THey even went as far as to ask what my occupation was for and what I was currently going to school for.
In the end he got the job but not really sure what any of that had to do with me
How inappropriate. They aren't allowed to ask any questions like that in a job interview.
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| Posted 6/13/10 8:44 PM |
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maxsgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 2086 total posts
Name:
sarah
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Re: that conversation yet again
I know they arent suppose to but how does one respond to a question like that?
I almost feel like it was a maybe a nationality thing...the hiring manager was not born in the US....maybe they just dont know the laws?
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| Posted 6/14/10 2:40 PM |
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blondiebabyZ
Ohhhh yeaaahh!!
Member since 6/10 1033 total posts
Name:
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Re: that conversation yet again
Posted by Mushesgirl
with my neighbor. She was showing me the big cloth pads she had from the hospital when she had her kids (they're like 7 and 5 now). I said awwwww (doing this inside but being polite). She says "someday you'll need one". I was polite, said, nah I don't think so. She said 'no?' I said no, dh and I are very content, and want to retire early.
She goes, you're young, you'll change your mind (yes folks again i'm doing but at this point i'm so used to hearing it I just tune out). She says 'dh and i felt the same way! then 3 years into marriage I was like well, ok. And the MAIN thing we thought was WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WHEN WE GET OLDER".
Man, people are really thick sometimes. What if your kids turn out to be crackheads? What if they move to the Himalayas? Will they still take care of you?
Then I thought, you know, what if we couldn't conceive? Or lost a child?? It's a very sensitive thing, and you don't want to just discuss that with everyone! Sigh, no one thinks about that I guess when they ask these dumb things.
ok who's had this same exact conversation lately?
ITA!! I cannot tell you how many times I have heard this. And everything you said is how I always feel! Its nice to see Im not the only one who thinks this way. Its also sad...bc before DH and I were married this was never a question to be asked. It was only "when are you getting married, you need to be married, blah blah blah. We got married, so now its "When are you having kids, your gonna have kids blah blah blah". Noone is ever happy, they are always looking for the next step. And ya know if you had a kid, the next question would be "sooo when is baby #2 coming along" lol
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| Posted 6/15/10 5:24 PM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Re: that conversation yet again
Posted by blondiebabyZ
ITA!! I cannot tell you how many times I have heard this. And everything you said is how I always feel! Its nice to see Im not the only one who thinks this way. Its also sad...bc before DH and I were married this was never a question to be asked. It was only "when are you getting married, you need to be married, blah blah blah. We got married, so now its "When are you having kids, your gonna have kids blah blah blah". Noone is ever happy, they are always looking for the next step. And ya know if you had a kid, the next question would be "sooo when is baby #2 coming along" lol
yes. this has been brought up on here before, the next step questions. Maybe it's just making conversation, people really don't know what to talk about so they just ask these dumb questions
I've caught myself a few times almost doing it myself, like with friends that have a kid or two, i'll think lemme ask when the next one is comming then I stop myself.
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| Posted 6/15/10 9:46 PM |
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Nifheim
allo
Member since 1/09 5476 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: that conversation yet again
i always love the "who will take care of you" argument. Oh yea many children today allow you to move into their homes and stay there until you die. Oh i read soo many stories about that 
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| Posted 6/16/10 11:17 AM |
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lucyloo
nope
Member since 1/06 9758 total posts
Name:
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Re: that conversation yet again
Posted by Mushesgirl
Posted by tourist
OK-this is how clueless about kids I am--what are the cloth pads she was showing you?
this is it:
I've never seen those before. What a weirdo.
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| Posted 6/16/10 11:47 AM |
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heathergirl
Cocktail Time!
Member since 10/08 4978 total posts
Name:
American mouth
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Re: that conversation yet again
I just ignore people like that. Especially since my little sister is preggo, I get it more. But people don't realize that I'm "only" 27 and getting married in a few months, we want to buy a house, be newlyweds. Sometimes we still go back and forth.
Being a parent is just not on my radar.
Yet.
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| Posted 6/16/10 12:07 PM |
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blondiebabyZ
Ohhhh yeaaahh!!
Member since 6/10 1033 total posts
Name:
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Re: that conversation yet again
Ya its gotten to the point when they begin to lecture I just nod and let them talk. They are never gonna see your point of view on children.
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| Posted 6/16/10 2:15 PM |
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PrincessVonTrockel
Trophy Wife in Training
Member since 11/09 2953 total posts
Name:
Natalie
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Re: that conversation yet again
I'm starting to really get angry and get into debates about this with people who have no bussiness even asking me about what my DH & I want for OUR OWN LIVES.
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| Posted 6/16/10 3:14 PM |
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marianne13
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 887 total posts
Name:
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Re: that conversation yet again
I get so annoyed by stuff like this. People really need to mind their own busines. I sometimes swear that people who have children are very very bitter to people who don't. It's like they are so jealous of the fact that we can pick up and do whatever we want...so they try to convince us that procreation is the best thing ever.
(No offense to anyone who has children and minds their own business about other people's marriages!)
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| Posted 6/24/10 7:48 PM |
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Ray8183
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 621 total posts
Name:
Renay
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Re: that conversation yet again
We are not having children and I just don't care if others doesn't like it.
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| Posted 6/26/10 6:42 PM |
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MrsB-07
proud RELAXIVIST
Member since 11/07 2027 total posts
Name:
b
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Re: that conversation yet again
i HATE this convo.
people need to mind their own business when it comes to other people's personal lives/decisions. i used to feel so selfish and insecure when i was put on the defensive about not really wanting children. now i just take it with a grain of salt. it still irks me, but i work hard to let it roll off my back. we make decisions on what's best for us... and we should never need to defend or feel bad about them.
i totally feel you!
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| Posted 6/27/10 8:30 AM |
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