Thinking about having a baby next year

DH and I have been married only 1 year and a half. We bought our first home last August. We have always talked about having a baby and we both want to, just not at this time. We keep saying maybe next year.. I still question the economy and there are other things that are scary to me.. For some reason.. everytime I think about having a baby, I get anxious, my heart starts palpatating and I start thinking things like.. oh god, what if after I give birth I develop PPD reall bad or what if I will not be a good mom, what if I am really not meant to be a mom.. It's bothering me so much that I come to the conclsion some times that maybe I should not have a child. Have many of you felt these things at some point?

I do have some negative family members that say things like.. oh why would you want to have children, they ruin your life, you can't go anywhere or do anything, they are too expensive.. your life will be over and I can't stand hearing that stuff so I walk away. Having a baby is such a huge decision.

Message edited 7/5/2008 8:38:42 PM.

Re: Thinking about having a baby next year

I'm pretty sure most prospective parents go through the what-ifs. There are many things to consider when having children (emotional stability, financial stability, resources/support system, child care, etc.)
You can only prepare so much and you have to believe that some things will just fall into place in time.

Some of your fears can definitely be alleviated through positive thinking. For example, if you end up with PPD, there are many places that you can seek help. Lots of mothers on here had it and were able to work through it. The being a good mother thing...not everyone has the knack from the get-go but you will see how quickly you acquire it! Before you know it, you'll be a pro & lots of things that you never thought you could do will be second nature! Still no-one is perfect!!!

The whole family issue with them making comments is stinky. They really should keep their negativity to themselves. Parenthood is a wonderful thing....if you make it so!!

Message edited 7/5/2008 8:46:46 PM.

Re: Thinking about having a baby next year

This is very normal. I thought this from the day we got married until DS was born 3.5 years later!
But in my heart I knew I wanted to be a mom. I knew I wanted to hold MY child in my arms and feel the only true unconditional love that only a mother and child can share.

You can go through all the what ifs but in the end if in your heart you and DH do want a child then all the other stuff will work itself out.

DS is 6 months old and he is by far the best thing I have ever done! I love him more than I ever knew possible. Is he expensive, sure (even more so that I quit my job to work PT and be with him more), has my life changed, without a doubt. Do I feel as if my life is over - HECK no, in ways I feel like the day my DS was born was the day it all really began. Experiencing things through his eyes is amazing! There are challenges and there are risks but sometimes you have to take a leap of faith, and know that no matter the outcome, you and DH will work through it together for the love of your child!

Re: Thinking about having a baby next year

Me personally, I always watched children so I knew that I always wanted to be a mom. However, I tried to prepare every possible way I could and yet still have things that are VERY hard to get used to. I expected that. You have to be realistic that it will change your life completely. You will not have the freedom to come and go as you please. However, being a parent is the biggest and most rewarding job I have ever had. I enjoy learning all of the little things in life all over again through my daughters eyes. Each day is more amazing than the last. As long as you prepare yourself for the unexpected (as silly as that sounds) you will be fine. Good luck and try not to be swayed by your family, it is you and your DH's decision.

Re: Thinking about having a baby next year

i have had every fear in the book about having a baby. I went through every emotion and still didn't even come close to ever feeling comfortable with it.

But deep down i always knew i wanted a child. So i had to just take my fears, set them aside and just leap.

You are always going tohave fears. And i would actually think you were weird if you didn't.

But i think right now, just by the tone i get from the post. You need to take a little more time before leaping. If that is what you choose to do.

Just know that for a lot of people those fears are always there. You just have to do the best you can and have faith that things will work out