This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

In trying not to break my promise about complaining (doing it more for my own mental state as well) I wanted to share the update and I also continue to need some advice...

I found out that it's the little girl that has been doing the majority of the biting and was the one to bite today.

The assistant director contacted the director and owners after our conversation and they are firm that they will not take her out for the week I requested. They are hiring another teacher and offered to put Lucas in the next room with the 18 - 24+ month old kids. She also called the parent of the little girl - spoke with the mother who said that her child never bites at home - never bites her sister and gave the impression that she didn't need to work on this and has not been working on this.

I have a lot of bad feelings about this situation obviously but the fact that the director and owners couldn't show me the respect and courtesy to be there for this meeting and instead pushed it on the assistant, who has no authority in this decision, to deliver the message really offends me and speaks volumes of the type of people they are. Clearly they have no concern that a child in their care was bitten 5 times in 6 days. I also can't get my head around why they won't honor my request:

I asked that they take the child out for one week - clearly she is in some type of distress in this environment. Give the kids in the room some time to resturn back to normalcy -have this other teacher come in and get acquainted with the kids...set up a routine..work on behaviors and then welcome this little girl back in with new expectations of her behavior.

I think that's fair and reasonable.

When I asked why they won't take her out for a while the answer was that the teachers never wrote up behavioral documentation on this to build a case I have 5 incident reports...is that not enough?


So I cleared out most of Lucas' things and told the teacher that he most likely would not come back unless Ella was taken out for a while. I told her that we would come by to get the rest and say goodbye - she was upset. Tomorrow he will be with my husband who can work from home and my boss is letting me work in LI so I'll be home in the afternoon to take over and go meet some daycares. My SIL is ready, willing and able to take Lucas next week for as long as we need and he'll have my neices and nephew to play with so that is really good. Thank God for her. But unless Ella is removed for a week Lucas will not return.

We are going to request that since the daycare will not meet our terms and since Lucas has been harmed and we fear his safety we want our deposit back.

So some questions for you if you can help....


How do I file a complaint with the state? I want to remove the emotion so it's taken seriously so what should I focus my complaint on? Any help that anyone can offer would be appreciated....my stomach is sick thinking of what child she will go after once Lucas is gone I want this stopped for all of them...you fall in love with thes babies over time and I'm not ready to walk away completely...but I have to be honest....a lot of it is also my own hurt.


Can anyone educate me on my rights or Lucas' rights in this situation? On what the daycare is doing wrong by way of regulations?

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

You have done the right thing. I'm sorry you're going through this.

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Sorry, I don't know the answers. I'm sure you can file a complaint with the BBB. I wonder why this child, and her parents, are getting treated so special. Especially since they were so quick to tell you when Lucas bit someone (even if it was in retalliation).

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

I am SO proud of you Ang and I think you are doing the right thing by filing some sort of complaint. This is all just SO unacceptable, there are no words.

I wish I could help you with the legal advice...but I'm blonde...sorry I know there's MORE than enough wonderful people ready and willing to help you here in that department.

And you know if you ever need me...just ask

I just don't get all this! It's beyond me that they're doing absolutely NOTHING about this little girl and Lucas is the one that is being "punished". why should he have to suffer

I hope you get closure from this and I'm here to support you and back you up in ANY way!

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Wow, I am shocked and sad for you.

I would ask Stacy about the complaint. I have never done it but since she is in the industry she could probably point you in the right direction.

If they will not give you your deposit back ( and I have a feeling from their lack of compliance so far that they won't) I would contact a lawyer. If you have a lawyer friend maybe ask them to type up a formal letter for you. That might scare them enough since they did not follow policy to give you your money back.

One last question... where was the shadow that they promised when he was bit the last time?

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Posted by chelle

I am SO proud of you Ang and I think you are doing the right thing by filing some sort of complaint. This is all just SO unacceptable, there are no words.

I wish I could help you with the legal advice...but I'm blonde...sorry I know there's MORE than enough wonderful people ready and willing to help you here in that department.

And you know if you ever need me...just ask

I just don't get all this! It's beyond me that they're doing absolutely NOTHING about this little girl and Lucas is the one that is being "punished". why should he have to suffer

I hope you get closure from this and I'm here to support you and back you up in ANY way!

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Hi I'm so sorry to read about Lucas's situation (and yours!) but you seem to be handling it SO WELL.
Does this link help, its the NY State office of Children & Family Services?
http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/ccfs_facilitysearch/
I've used it to find info about local daycares in my neighborhood (I'm due in Sept!) but there's also a FAQs and contact page that might allow you to file a complaint?
Granted I'm new to this but this daycare seems REALLY unable to cope with the situation!!
Best of luck, I'm sure you'll end up with a wonderful new place for Lucas111

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

my goodness...i hardly know what to say.

You're doing the right thing...this is so unbelievable.

Poor Lucas to have been attacked like that. And poor you and DH for having to deal with this and not get ANY support from the center.

I don't have any legal advice other than to say that I believe it is important that you file one.

Best of luck in your new search.

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

WOW..Im shocked. Especially after what happened when it was Lucas. How you took all the appropriate actions a parent takes to make sure he never did it again( bite).....He likely got the idea from another kid there it seems no?

If She were my child I would be doing ANYTHING to resolve the situation.....

Im sad and dissapointed for you.


I wish I could help too, i know nothing but if you need to vent, you know Im here for you.

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

I would contact the NY State Office of Children and Family

That's where you do a facility search, etc..

http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/becs/

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Ang,
I am so sorry!! I don't even know what to say. I'm so angry and sad for you guys. I'm glad you took his stuff out. This center (along with the director/owner) are ridiculous..Oh, and the little girls mom too.

Maybe instead of moving Lucas up, the little girl should be moved into the next room. She may be "Bored" and that's why she's doing it. If they move her up, the older kids may "scare" her a bit and maybe the room is challenging, which is what she may need..A challenge.

Good Luck with the meeting tomorrow. I'd be going in there fuming!

Again. I am so sorry.

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

I am sooo very sorry that you and Lucas have been going through this!!! My heart breaks for him. I really wish I were in a position to help beyond just voicing my support for you and your family.

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

The 2 second thoughts on the letter have some of these snippets...

When I registered him at X Daycare, your charter stated that you are committed to educating the whole child – cognitively, emotionally, socially, and physically. In addition, your website states your center are designed to meet the highest safety standards.

Based on the repeated number of injuries my son has sustained on June 29th, 30th, July 1st and July 2nd, I can no longer be assured that you can provide the safe environment as your literature stated. Therefore, I request my full deposit back within ten (10) business days.

My family has suffered not only emotional distress over your center's failure to respond to the situation, but economic as well. Your repeated refusal to come up with a reasonable resolution to ensure that my child will not be bit or hit has required me to seek alternative child care.

Blah, blah, blah..

I'd have to think about it more & to take a look at the registration & literature if you wanted me to help draft it (which I'd be glad to help you out).

I would also state the quotes that the other room is full of "hitters" or whatever she said. I can't believe they are being so negligent.

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Posted by thiadora
One thing I was wondering is that since they completely f'd this up maybe they don't have he proper documentation regarding the incidents and risk getting sued by the little girls parents if they force her to stay home for a week

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

i have no expert advice to give you but i wanted to give you many hugs.

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

I have to say, you're inspiring for not letting them bully/intimidate you/get you to change your mind

Lucas has an awesome mom (and sounds like dad is awesome too!)

Message edited 7/2/2008 9:40:22 PM.

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Posted by nrthshgrl

Posted by thiadora
One thing I was wondering is that since they completely f'd this up maybe they don't have he proper documentation regarding the incidents and risk getting sued by the little girls parents if they force her to stay home for a week

It sounds like they have the required documentation - they have the incident reports for Lucas.

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Posted by thiadora

Posted by nrthshgrl

Posted by thiadora
One thing I was wondering is that since they completely f'd this up maybe they don't have he proper documentation regarding the incidents and risk getting sued by the little girls parents if they force her to stay home for a week

It sounds like they have the required documentation - they have the incident reports for Lucas.

I wasn't sure if they needed to properly notify the other child parents of the incidents

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

I have to say i agree. I don't get the whole "behavior report" BS

I feel like they are just giving you the run around.

Why not try the older class? Is that out?

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Posted by Ang-Rich

Posted by thiadora

Posted by nrthshgrl

Posted by thiadora
One thing I was wondering is that since they completely f'd this up maybe they don't have he proper documentation regarding the incidents and risk getting sued by the little girls parents if they force her to stay home for a week

It sounds like they have the required documentation - they have the incident reports for Lucas.

I wasn't sure if they needed to properly notify the other child parents of the incidents

From what I understand, each time a child bites the parent of the biter is notified...I have asked each time and the director tells me yes they were.

But the asst director mentioned something about a behavior report that wasn't written....for me it makes no sense if we have these incident reports why we need anything further not to mention that now we find ourselves in a situation where people dropped the ball by not writting these apparently necessary reports. I feel like this is all wrong, wrong, wrong.

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

you are definitely doing the right thing. You are VERY well spoken and I am sure you will write a great letter

you MOST CERTAINLY deserve your deposit back