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This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

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MsSissy
xoxoxo

Member since 3/07

39159 total posts

Name:

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

I know I'm jumping in with no experience in day care for over 20 yrs.

I just wanted to say, if your son has any marks on him, please take pictures. You may have done this already, but I haven't seen you mention anything.

Good Luck and I'm really sorry you are going through this.
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Posted 7/2/08 11:05 PM
 
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EmmaNick
*

Member since 12/06

16001 total posts

Name:
*

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

The State Office of Children and Family Services maintains a toll-free complaint line for complaints about day care programs. Call this number during normal working hours and a staff person will take the information.

The Office is empowered to investigate any possible violation of child care regulations. If you think a person or program is operating without the proper license or registration certificate, this is also a basis for making a complaint. Your complaint will be investigated, and if it is substantiated, staff will work with the provider to correct any violations.

If you wish to make a complaint, call:
(800) 732-5207

In New York City, you can also call the city Department of Health at:
(212) 676-2444

****
I would make that complaint so it shows up on their record. If they don't give you your deposit back, sue them in small claims court (they offer night court). I'm sorry you have to deal with this, it's so unfair

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Posted 7/2/08 11:15 PM
 

Kerie-is-so-very
versatile!

Member since 5/05

13535 total posts

Name:
K

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Holy Cow. I am just checking in for the first time tonight and I'm finding out there was yet another bite? That is awful. Definitely take a look at the NY state website that was mentioned a few times on this thread. Write the daycare center a letter. Someone (I think Barbara) posted a great example. You may also want to throw in some rules that they violated. One that I can think of offhand is from when I was doing a facility search. There was a center that had a violation for failing to have an appropriate and reasonable discipline system in place. I am paraphrasing but you get the idea. I am sure that the exact rule is somewhere on that website and that there are other rules you can quote. Request your money back in writing. If that fails, small claims court.

As for the girl's parents, shame on them. I had a GTG at my house and one friend's kid bit another friend's kid. The kid that did the biting had no history of it but his mom was absolutely concerned even over one incident. The mark on the other kid was gone by the next morning but the mom of the kid who did it was still so concerned.

As for your request of the daycare center, I can see your point, but now that there have been so many incidents, I would not think that it is even realistic to expect this girl to return after a week and start fresh without more incidents. JMO.

Posted 7/2/08 11:26 PM
 

NW2006
LIF Adolescent

Member since 7/06

535 total posts

Name:
Nicole

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 7/2/08 11:27 PM
 

jenheartsrob
LIF Adult

Member since 5/06

1861 total posts

Name:

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

I don't mean to hijack, but I was reading this and it reminds me of the case on Judge Judy yesterday. The couple pulled their son out of a woman's daycare because the woman's child had bitten the couple's son twice. Judge Judy said they were entitled to their deposit back because the daycare provider didn't provide adequate safety measures to ensure that the child was safe. Not exactly your case, but wanted to contribute in some way.

Good luck!

Posted 7/2/08 11:30 PM
 

CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(

Member since 5/05

13848 total posts

Name:
Christine

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

I wish I knew the answers here AngChat Icon You are the most respectable person in handling this situation- you have definately handled yourself with grace and dignity. I doubt I would have done the same in your situation. I feel so badly for this little girl since obviously there is something going on with her and no one is willing to address it.

I think by taking him out you are doing the best thing for him even though its tough. I would never feel comfortable returning there again. Good for you and I am sure you will find a wonderful day care for himChat Icon Chat Icon

Message edited 7/3/2008 12:34:44 AM.

Posted 7/3/08 12:34 AM
 

MST9106
My life:)

Member since 6/06

9589 total posts

Name:

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Isn't the security deposit refundable upon taking the child out of school for whatever reason? I thought that was the case with most centers. If so, getting your security back should be the least of your problems. I think writing a letter and putting in a complaint via telephone to the State and the BBB (although I'm not sure they're members) should be sufficient. Hopefully this will force the place to get its act together and implement some policies and safety measures that they will actually follow. Also, this is a great tool to deter other parents from placing their children in that center or at least be skeptical about it...

I think its totally unacceptable how they handled your situation, how they treated you, your husband and most importantly LUCAS...putting him in a dangerous environment. They should really get their facts straight and stop covering things up, which seems like the case here since everyone seems to be saying something different.

Ang, you and your husband handled this situation in the upmost respectful way. I don't know if I'd be able to keep my composure after so many incidents...I would definitely have gone off...especially if it had to do with my son's safety and him being hurt continuously! I mean these aren't just scratches...these are bites that must hurt like SOB especially to a little child! That little girl must have some serious issues to express her anger and frustration in such way, and for the teachers not to notice this continuous behavior raises a red flag...where are they when this is happening???? I understand once but 6 times????????????? UNACCEPTABLE!

I think at this point the best thing to do is just take Lucas and RUN! This solves a situation for you but unfortunately not for the other kids that are left behind at this center. I know you mentioned that you care about them so your best bet is to report this facility and follow up to make sure that proper investigative and disciplinary actions are being taken.

Once again, I'm sorry that this happened to you and your family. You are one of the most optimistic people on here and please don't ever question your decision to act on this situation and pulling Lucas out of there! You did as much as you could!Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Message edited 7/3/2008 6:45:35 AM.

Posted 7/3/08 6:39 AM
 

05mommy09
Family of 5!

Member since 5/05

15364 total posts

Name:
<3 Mommy <3

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update


Posted by lvdolphins



Maybe instead of moving Lucas up, the little girl should be moved into the next room. She may be "Bored" and that's why she's doing it. If they move her up, the older kids may "scare" her a bit and maybe the room is challenging, which is what she may need..A challenge.





ITA- and think this is a way better solution rather than moving Lucas up...

But to be honest, even if they do what you request I would look for a new center.Everything that has happened is unacceptable. The directors failure to address your concerns, the way they have handled EVERYTHING is wrong wrong and WRONG! Which tells me that issues like this will just continue to happen, maybe not to Lucas but to others- and ultimately do you really want to be somewhere like that?

I would def. contact Office of children and family services... Let them give them a surprise visit, and see whats going on there..

Posted 7/3/08 7:22 AM
 

SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?

Member since 7/06

8069 total posts

Name:
Susan

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

I am seriously so angry for you. I just cannot believe how they just keep handling this situation. And to hear the mom's reaction makes me so angry. Chat Icon Maybe after she finds another target and that child gets bitten 5-6 times, they will finally address it the proper way? Why is this just being ignored?!?!? You are handling this is the best way though. Good for you. I can't believe that the director/owner didn't even meet with you. What cowards! I think they must know that what they are doing is wrong in so many ways. Barb's letter sounded great. I would definitely give them something like that. And I know nothing about filing the complaint, but I hope there is some way for you to file one. Other parents need to know about how they handle situations like this.

Posted 7/3/08 7:52 AM
 

Bxgell2
Perfection

Member since 5/05

16438 total posts

Name:
Beth

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Unfortunately I'd have a lot more to tell you if this was a public, federally funded school, but unfortunately private preschools are often shielded from liability, at least, with regard to my office (U.S. Dept. of Education, Office for Civil Rights).

What I suggest you do is write up a letter to the school stating that they have breached the terms of their own contract by allowing an unsafe environment to continue, even with notice of the child's behavior. Demand your deposit, and threaten legal action if they refuse. Threaten as well that you will file a formal complaint with the State if they refuse, and with the Better Business Bureau. For good measure, you may even want to CC those agencies in the letter (but you don't really have to send it to them - it's just for effect). Have the letter notarized and send it certified mail.

If you have any friends who are attorneys, you can ask that they send the letter on your behalf, which may give a little more umph. I've done it in the past and have had much success for my friends Chat Icon

Message edited 7/3/2008 7:58:16 AM.

Posted 7/3/08 7:56 AM
 

Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!

Member since 8/05

20181 total posts

Name:

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

ITA with everything you are doing Chat Icon Good Luck hun

Posted 7/3/08 7:57 AM
 

pugmama
April already?

Member since 3/06

5297 total posts

Name:
Erica

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Posted by BlessedMommy

ITA with everything you are doing Chat Icon Good Luck hun




same here!Chat Icon

Posted 7/3/08 8:56 AM
 

july0105
My three little miracles

Member since 4/06

2628 total posts

Name:
Alison

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Wow! Your situation is so eye-opening. I cannot imagine a daycare center being so dismissive of such a major concern. Biting happens with small children, but it needs to be dealt with. If the parents are in denial, the daycare providers cannot be. They are with this young girl every day and there is no good reason to ignore this problem and let the biting continue to happen. I am so sorry for your beautiful little boy. This situation is obviously stressful on your entire family and I hope things are resolved quickly. You are handling everything with a level-head and I am sure things will work out. Thanks for posting the details. It makes all moms (new and experienced) know and remember how difficult it is to find quality childcare. As I said, I wish you guys the best!Chat Icon

Posted 7/3/08 9:01 AM
 

lulugrrl
My 3 Blessings

Member since 3/06

6551 total posts

Name:
L

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Hi Ang,

I am so so sorry you are going through this, it must be so hard to see your little boy get hurt. I just want to offer some hugs, and I am so glad you are following through with formal complaints because this little girl will turn to another victum...

many hugs to you and your lil man!Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 7/3/08 9:53 AM
 

Stacey1403
Where it all began....

Member since 5/05

24065 total posts

Name:

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

I am going to shoot you an FM when I get a chance Ang.

I can't believe they said they would suggest that you move him up to an older room. They actually can't do that. He is too young. There can only be a 3 month age gap between ages and I highly doubt that if the room goes to 24 months that there aren't kids that are almost a year older than himChat Icon

Posted 7/3/08 9:57 AM
 

nylisa
My Children

Member since 5/05

7905 total posts

Name:
MaMa

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Ang, I do not know what to say but I just want to tell you that I feel bad for Lucas and what you & your DH are doing is best for Lucas.

Posted 7/3/08 9:57 AM
 

Theresa05
Sofialiciciousssssssssssss

Member since 10/06

4891 total posts

Name:

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Ang ,

your such a special person with such a calm demeanor at this trying time.. Whatever will come out this will be the best for Lucas and him leaving that facility. I would not want him there one more day as they do not even respect him in my eyes. Why is that little girl not thrown OUT /???????????????????
6bites.. I would personally be outside her house and I would have alot to say to her about her child.. I feel bad for the little girl actually something IS WRONG there and she has anger and is acting out and no one is trying to find out why..

May you stay strong and positive.. this will get better soon Chat Icon

Posted 7/3/08 10:03 AM
 

FeliciaDP

Member since 5/05

18599 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Oh Ang... I haven't really be on the past bunch of days, so I just now caught up on all your posts about this situation.. Chat Icon

I'm sorry it came to this -but I think you are doing all the rights things to make sure Lucas is in the best environment for him. You have been very reasonable and calm throughout this entire process from what I've read, so be proud of what a great Mommy you are and how well you are handling things... and don't doubt yourself for a minute

I hope everything starts to go well for you guys from hereon out! Hang in there and keep us posted when you can Chat Icon

Message edited 7/3/2008 10:25:47 AM.

Posted 7/3/08 10:13 AM
 

QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!

Member since 5/05

13659 total posts

Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Ang - I FM'ed you with a potential plan of action against this place - let me know if you're open to entertaining the idea.

It's hardcore - but it will work, or at least get your deposit back.

Posted 7/3/08 10:16 AM
 

FireIslandLove

Member since 5/05

12119 total posts

Name:

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

You are doing the right thing. Shame on this day care and for that girl's parents for not taking this more seriously! I would be so pizzed if I were you too. I hope you find Lucas a really nice day care that takes you and him more seriously. This whole thing is a horrible situation! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 7/3/08 10:18 AM
 

waytogo
Balancing act on a highwire

Member since 5/05

1292 total posts

Name:
a

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

If anything, the other child should be moved out if the classroom. Unfortunately, I had a biting child for a couple weeks. He NEVER did it at home so we had no action to take ourselves. He bit children and teachers. They watched him closely and it still happened. When he was moved up it stopped. We think he was bored and frustrated. It was also very embarrassing.

Their lack of follow-through and disregard for the seriousness of the situation is disturbing. Chat Icon

Posted 7/3/08 9:51 PM
 

dooodles
When you wish upon a star

Member since 5/05

11997 total posts

Name:
Because 2 people fell in love

Re: This should be the last of it with the daycare stuff...an update

Oh Ang, Deb mentioned to me Lucas was bit yet AGAIN Chat Icon This little boy who is so happy and friendly does not seem to be getting fair treatment.

I am sending you an email that I hope will help solve some problems. Other than that, I think you and Rich have handled yourselves with so much class and grace during such a stressful and emotional time. Dealing with your child being bitten is emotional but to be ignored by his caregivers and basically blown off and disrespected is absolutely a disgrace to the facility and the directors Chat Icon I would love to go and give them a piece of my mind on your behalf. How on earth they want to move a gentle child into a room that could pose more danger to him is beyond any comprehension. Maybe try biting the director 6 times in a row and see how she handles the situation!

This is such a sad ending to what seemed to be a thriving environment for Lucas. I hope you and Rich are able to find another such environment for him that responds to parents concerns and actually shows you the respect you deserve - especially LUCAS

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Posted 7/4/08 8:13 AM
 
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