Those who had twin preemies??edited

When you took them home did you need a lot of help from others or were you able to manage on your own?

ETA:

Thanks guys. I still don't no when they are coming home. I have a feeling they will come with a nurse. I was just curious as to how much help i will need. My mind was also wondering b/c they are probably coming home with a nurse. my sil is a nicu nurse and said maybe she could do it but i need to have the fine line of family/help be defined i don't think it would be a good idea to have her. I think the nurse would be f/t and i just don't see having a family member here f/t, to me it is a conflict of interest. For instance, if i didn't like the way the nurse was doing something i could voice my opinion or request another nurse. Am i making sense here? I know i am rambling but i am unsure as to how dh is going to handle me suggesting that she not do it. thanks for listening!

Message edited 7/22/2007 7:23:51 PM.

Re: Those who had twin preemies??

I didn't have preemies but I would still suggest you line up as much help as possible... if and when you don't need it you can always cancel or postpone it. You will find some people will be more help than others. Bottom line... yes, you will need help. You can be as organized as possible and as prepared as possible but you need to sleep.

I am not sure what your babies will need above and beyond the typical things when they come home but you can never have too much help. Line up as many people as possible... you should be the primary caretaker of the babies and other tasks should be delegated to them. I say this because you will have to establish a scheduled routine with your babies (or most likely the one established by the NICU nurses), for your own sanity, and you only want people who can really stick to that routine/schedule and not get the babies off of it. I say this because I had one family member that was much better suited to running errands than helping with the babies... they always got off schedule.

When I brought mine home it took about a good week for me to recover physically and sorry if TMI but for my insides to readjust and the swelling in my feet to decresae so the thought of standing in the kitchen and cooking a meal was a bit Even though your physical recovery has happened while they have been in the NICU there will still be plenty to do.

People want to help and don't be afraid to ask. Of course, I stockpiled groceries and supplies before the babies came but there is always something you forget. Often people are not sure what you need so I found it helpful to ask them to run specific errands or take care of a specific task. I brainstormed a list right before I delivered and when people asked if there was anything they could do I asked them what they would feel comfortable doing from that list... grocery store, diaper run, picking up dry cleaning for DH, uploading pictures, preparing a meal, emptying the dishwasher, etc.

Use as many delivery services as you can... we switched to a dry cleaner that would pick up and deliver. There is also www.1800diapers and Peapod.com, of course.

I would say to line up help everyday, or as many as possible, for at least the first month so you can get into a groove.

Another helpful hint... we put a message on our voice mail telling people we would be updating them via e-mail. People mean well and call you but they don't realize that there is no possible way you can return all of the phone calls as you are sleeping sporadically and going round the clock.

Do you have a crock pot? Not necessarily the season to use one but I found it very helpful. I could throw ingredients in there at 8 am set it on low and wah-lah... 6 pm... dinner

We also kept more cash on us than usual so we could give it to people to run errands.

These are all of the things I found helpful.

Good luck and I hope they come home soon.

Re: Those who had twin preemies??

Mine came home one at a time so we needed sitters to stay home with one when we visited the other. Between our two moms we were set. We had three weeks of only one home so it really helped in getting everything organized and into a routine with one that the second just fell right into place when he came home. Since I didn't have to leave anymore it was not a huge adjustment having them both home. A few people brought us meals over, but we were fine with take out and being on the road every day we ate at the hospital or picked up on the way home.

I agree with asking people to do specific tasks, it helps the people offering help so they don't feel in the way and can accomplish something that you need done.

Doing laundry and cleaning and making bottles can always be done by anyone that comes over, so take advantage of it.

good Luck, when do they expect them to be coming home?

Re: Those who had twin preemies??

Thanks guys. I still don't no when they are coming home. I have a feeling they will come with a nurse. I was just curious as to how much help i will need. My mind was also wondering b/c they are probably coming home with a nurse. my sil is a nicu nurse and said maybe she could do it but i need to have the fine line of family/help be defined i don't think it would be a good idea to have her. I think the nurse would be f/t and i just don't see having a family member here f/t, to me it is a conflict of interest. For instance, if i didn't like the way the nurse was doing something i could voice my opinion or request another nurse. Am i making sense here? I know i am rambling but i am unsure as to how dh is going to handle me suggesting that she not do it. thanks for listening!

Re: Those who had twin preemies??

I didn't have help. I wanted to do it on my own. Fortunately they both came home from the NICU on the same day. I am a very independent person, so I wanted and needed to do it on my own to proof to myself I can handle it. DH was home for the first few days and then that was it. He had visitors, but not to help out. I think that beginning period, I gained a ton of confidence. And I started taking them out by myself at 5 weeks.

I hope they are coming home soon.

Re: Those who had twin preemies??

I had premies but they were not in NICU. I think what the others said is very true. While you probably want to see if you can handle it (and you will!), TRUST US when we say you will need extra help and please don't hesitate when friends/family offer. When i was pregnant, I kept telling myself that I wanted to do it all on my own (with DH's help) and that I would take as little help as i needed. Well the first few weeks with a newborn are tough enough...forget about it if they are premies AND TWIN PREMIES. Anyone who offered help I took it and also on top of that asked anyone i could think of to help me out. I still remember having people coming to visit us to see the boys and asking one of them to help me out.

Once in the beginning, one of my girlfriends called to see if i needed help (and my DH was at work) I remember feeling stupid (but still asking her) if she could spare an hour to come over so i could bathe the boys. Well 10 minutes later she was at my door. There is no way i could have done it without her.......

If you are worried about any type of tension between your and your family getting in the way, trust me when the babies are here that all goes out the window. The first few weeks are very much a survival type thing. You will do fine but accept the help and don't hesitate to ask for help. Everyone who is offering is not offering just because.

Good luck.

Message edited 7/21/2007 9:59:23 PM.

Re: Those who had twin preemies??

My little gys came home 5 days apart.. I had one out to dinner the next day. I have a 3 year old and really can not stay at home . My family lives to far away to be here 24/7 I am also a very independant person I like to do things on my own. I was fine all week. My guys came home on a great schedule and the first couple of nights it needed some tuning.. but they are eating every 4 hours and are great car sleepers...

They are also not my first children i did not have the fear like I did with my D.. i can nnot sit at home.. i have to take my DD to camp and Dh really can not take off work since he used too many days wehn i was in the hospital for those extra days...

If they come home on monitors.. you are going to want the help...

Everyone is diffeent...

Re: Those who had twin preemies??

I needed a lot of help..becasue you get so tired and they need to adjust to their new surroundings at least mine did they were somewhere else for 3 months. My mom helped me a lot and my DH and Melijane..you need a support system. good luck are they coming home soon?

Re: Those who had twin preemies??edited

I had preemies 6 weeks early and I didn't have help. Not that it wasn't offered, but I tended not to take people up on it. One night I had my MIL stay over and once my dad and that was it. DH and I were able to manage it, thankfully, and if I did have a visitor in the afternoon, for instance, I would try to catch a few but that happened rarely.

I also never used delivery services like peapod or anything b/c I enjoyed getting out there and doing it to give myself a bit of a break (without the boys when DH was home) and then wtih them when they were a bit older. I just like getting my own things done - gives me a feeling of accomplishment.

If the offers of help flood in and you want to take advantage of them, go for it! I would do whatever you feel comfortable with - and judging my the responses, everyone has very different opinions on it!


I they come home soon!!

Re: Those who had twin preemies??edited

Posted by majen

I had preemies 6 weeks early and I didn't have help. Not that it wasn't offered, but I tended not to take people up on it. One night I had my MIL stay over and once my dad and that was it. DH and I were able to manage it, thankfully, and if I did have a visitor in the afternoon, for instance, I would try to catch a few but that happened rarely.

I also never used delivery services like peapod or anything b/c I enjoyed getting out there and doing it to give myself a bit of a break (without the boys when DH was home) and then wtih them when they were a bit older. I just like getting my own things done - gives me a feeling of accomplishment.

If the offers of help flood in and you want to take advantage of them, go for it! I would do whatever you feel comfortable with - and judging my the responses, everyone has very different opinions on it!


I they come home soon!!

Re: Those who had twin preemies??edited

You probably will want to have help, during the day. Even if is just to run errands or go to dr. appts the first couple of weeks.

From what I remember, it was a lot in the beginning, but too many people make things chaotic (in my opinion). Expect a lot of visitors and phone calls. It's like I was the only person to have twins or something.