Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

how could I be dumb enough to let this accident happen when we could have conciously prevented it?

Why is this happening now instead of later when we planned?

complete fear of how to handle 2 kids under the age of 2, how to handle every aspect of daily life, how to even care for my 9 month old while PG, how to make ends meet.

I don't feel attached to it at all.....I don't feel PG, I feel like I don't need this right now.

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

BTDT. DH was told he may have some issues. He had to go for sperm analysis. Well, I could not wait for the results. So one night, after ovulation, we had our first and only whatever happens happens session. Seemed to make sense at the time.

Test came back normal. Then, pregnant, living with parents still, out of state move coming up without jobs lined up. I threw a temper tantrum coming home from my first dr appt. That was when it was real and I could not deal.

Then it hit me. God plans EVERYTHING. I felt selfish that I had been given this wonderful chance that so many people dream of. If DH's results would have came back bad, I would have been mad that it was happening to us. That we were going to have issues. Instead it was the other way around, for some reason I was lucked out. Now I am fine you will be too. You are still in shock.

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

Posted by btrflygrl

how could I be dumb enough to let this accident happen when we could have conciously prevented it?

Why is this happening now instead of later when we planned?

complete fear of how to handle 2 kids under the age of 2, how to handle every aspect of daily life, how to even care for my 9 month old while PG, how to make ends meet.

I don't feel attached to it at all.....I don't feel PG, I feel like I don't need this right now.

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

Youre having totally normal feelings - I went through the exact same emotions and somehow even felt like my pregnancy was not a big deal, i.e., running around NYC 9 months pregnant in the heat of the summer, working till all hours, carrying around my dd when I was in my last trimester. Then when my ds was born and he was sick in the NICU i felt sooo incredibly guilty for ever questioning whether I was ready for another baby. Your motherly instincts kick in and you are filled with joy when they finally arrive. Now i can't imagine not having my dd and ds, although it is really really challenging managing with both of them right now, I won't lie. But I know everything does happen for a reason and it will get easier as time goes by. Try to concentrate on the positives and how this is a gift from God. And truly thats what life is all about.

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

I am sorry you are feeling like this, I am sure everything will work out.

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

I've actually been thinking about you a lot today because I would probably be feeling the same way if I were pregnant right now. You are probably just so overwhelmed. DH and I have been talking about ttc in like 6 months or so and as exciting as it sounds, it scares the shiznit out of me.

The one thing I kept telling myself today as I was thinking about it today is that reguardless of the circumstances, it is a BLESSING. This baby was given to you for a reason now -- and you might not ever know why .... but there is a reason for it.

When Bill was sick a few weeks ago a girl said to me that God only gives you what he knows you can handle --- and maybe sometimes he gives you something that feels like too much --- but it is done to bring you closer to him -- so that you'll have to look to him for strength and guidance when you are not doing it as often as you should....

remember that this baby is a blessing and you will get through it. We are all here to help you through it if nothing else then a venting ground if you ever need it!

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

Shana you have FM.

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

I felt a lot like this at first when pregnant with Christopher. He was completely unexpected. DH and I were in the middle of planning our wedding! I had so many negative thoughts in the beginning. It took a while before I accepted being pregnant and before I was happy with it. I know it's a LOT different with your situation. Your first pregnancy was planned and now you're pregnant again and your little ones will be close in age, but give it time. Everything happens for a reason. This is truly a blessing even though you may not believe it just yet.

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

First I am not posting this to make you feel guilty. I think your reactions are normal, but like someone else said you will have a Wow moment when things come into perspective.

As somoeone who has been TTC #2 for 2 1/2 years I would kill to be in your shoes. We planned on having our DC 2 years apart. When Ryan was about 1 I thought (for like a day) I was PG and I was happy, but like you disappointed that that was not our plan. Well, needless to say 3 years later I am mad at myself for thinking that even for a minute.


Whatever the reason, this is happening to you now. Embrace it and live for Today. We never know what tomorrow may bring.

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

I am a month away from having baby#2, which was planned and both DH and I have moments of what have we done. I think that feeling is normal whether it is planned or unplanned, convenient time or inconvenient time. As everyone else said God gives you as much as you can handle

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

you are not alone, my SIL has a 19 months old and a 33 month old. She found out she was PG with #2 when the first one was 6 months old. Plus she had to be on bedrest with both of them so she didnt work for pretty much 2 years! and my BIL ddnt make a lot of $$ either, she was the bread winner. It was hard on them financially and emotionally but they did it and they are so happy to have 2 kids so close in age. Our family supported them and helped out as much as possible. Dont get me wrong, there were hard times, but things do work out for a reason. Hang in there!!

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

I was 17yrs old when I was pregnant with my first child and that was really hard but when I got pregnant w/DD #2 5 yrs later unexpectedly I was still living in my parents basement and I wasnt happy about it at all...........I was crying everyday and so worried about whether or not I would resent the baby etc

SHE IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME.........GOD HAS A PLAN........GIVING ME MY 2ND CHILD REALLY CHANGED MY ENTIRE LIFE FOR THE BETTER

dont worry Shana your feelings are normal you will get through this rough time and soon you will get over the initial shock
I hope you feel better soon

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

Posted by btrflygrl

how could I be dumb enough to let this accident happen when we could have conciously prevented it?

Why is this happening now instead of later when we planned?

complete fear of how to handle 2 kids under the age of 2, how to handle every aspect of daily life, how to even care for my 9 month old while PG, how to make ends meet.

I don't feel attached to it at all.....I don't feel PG, I feel like I don't need this right now.

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

I was TTC #2 and got preg. in Feb. Unfortunately I had a m/c. I was so sad because we wanted them close in age. I waited the 2 cycles like the Dr. told me and got preg, right away. I am now 20 weeks and Ryan and the baby will be 20 months apart. I think it is wonderful your children will be close in age.

Once you get use to the idea I think you'll be happy. What does DH think?

Think of it this way if you had a m/c you would probably be heartbroken.

Good Luck!

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

Shana I have no idea how you feel, but I can only imagine that I would feel the same way in your shoes. It's an overwheliming thought to have two babies so close in age. And I know from my friend's experience that it's not easy in the begining. They're both babies and they both will need and want their mommy. But as they get a little older it will get much easier. They are built in entertainment for each other and you will absolutely melt at how close they are and how much the new baby will look up to Ally.
God would not have given you this gift if he didn't know you could handle it. And I'm not really a religious person, but I do believe that things happen for a reason.

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

With my first child, I was very "unattached" to the whole pregnancy...on top of that I was miserably sick the entire time. This time, it was a surprise again...but a more prepared surprise. I spent a couple of days in shock, but it wore off. Once the baby arrives, all the strange almost unloving feelings will disappear...trust me.

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

Posted by btrflygrl

how could I be dumb enough to let this accident happen when we could have conciously prevented it?

Why is this happening now instead of later when we planned?

complete fear of how to handle 2 kids under the age of 2, how to handle every aspect of daily life, how to even care for my 9 month old while PG, how to make ends meet.

I don't feel attached to it at all.....I don't feel PG, I feel like I don't need this right now.

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

Your feelings are normal. I got pregnant in April this year while using an IUD, so it was a complete surprise. My husband and I were not planning on having children, for many reasons & were happily raising his 2 teenage daughters. Well, things happen and I was going to have a baby! I can't begin to tell you the emotions and thoughts we both had. The range was incredible, on a daily basis. Well, by 10 1/2 weeks, we were pretty much settled with everything and thrilled to be having a baby, when I had a m/c. Let me tell you, the emotions after that were ten times what I expected. I think I cried everyday for at least a month, for so many reasons, not just the loss. The hormones definetly play a part, so your feelings are so much more on the surface than you would expect. Just know, though, it is okay to have these feelings & beleive it or not, things will work out! P.S. - I am pregnant now - we planned on this one - once we had experienced the pregnancy, we wanted to do it again! Good luck.

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

As someone who has children 12 months and 12 days apart I can totally relate.

Jack was a HUGE surprise - to the point I had no idea I was pregnant until almost 10 weeks along. I was a BASKETCASE when I found out. I remember sitting in my bathroom crying for about 45 minutes b/c Ava was only 4 months old and I was having a really hard time with her.

Fast forward to now.......its hard, I'm not going to lie or sugarcoat it. Part of it is that Jack had colic, reflux and is just a super duper high needs child. Its been a really rough 10.5 months BUT I've survived it. DH and I have fought more, worried about money more but its also brought us closer.

There are days where they play together and sit in the backseat of the car and laugh and hold hands and it melts my heart - other days I think about selling them on Ebay LOL.

Everything happens for a reason to which I'm still trying to figure out. But I'm glad that its happened this way b/c I look at all the amazing, strong women on infertility board and I know that I'm not as strong as them and couldn't handle half of what they are going/have been through.

God chose this road for me and at the end of every day I think how I survived another day with both laughter and tears.

Good luck to you and congrats.

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

Oh Shana. Hugs. Once the initial shock wears off you will get attached to this PG and it will some how sort it out. It always does.

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

All normal.

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

Re: Those who have unexpected Pregnancies.....are these feelings/emotions normal?

I can relate at all - when I first found out I was pregnant I had ot "fake" my excitement to everyone.....it just was not the time I would have wanted careerwsie and all...but now I am so ln love with her and we realize that while it might not be an ideal time sometimes, everything happens for a reason and you will make it work!!