Those who live away from family

All my family is still on LI (I am in NC). They are starting to ask about when they should come down to help after I have the baby. I would love for them all to be here when I have the baby but I know that will be hard. It would make sense to stagger each person so I have help for a while afterwards. I would love for my mom and sister to come right away to help me but how do I not include MIL in that (I would so rather her not be here since we have different views on how to raise a baby).

How did you handle this?

Re: Those who live away from family

We're having this issue too. Both my mom and MIL and dad want to come for the birth. We were thinking of having one person (or couple) stay with us and the others get a hotel room, but DH said why can't we have his parents AND my mom and stepfather stay with us. Yeah, that will be fun. Our apt is not that big, plus having all of them will drive me crazy!!!!

So we are still trying to figure this one out. I would love to hear what others are doing too.

Re: Those who live away from family

Why don't you look into renting a house or timeshare for your guests. That way they'll be close by, have their own bedrooms and kitchen, and they won't be under your hair.

Re: Those who live away from family

I am going to have the same problem.

We are moving to NC Nov 2, my family lives in Florida, dhs family is all on LI

My mom wants to come a week before I am due, and stay for 6 weeks, which is wonderful, dh and I couldnt be happier about that.

My eldest brother his wife and 2 kids decided to make the move with us, and will be 15 mins away, so I am sure they will be over all the time.

I think MIL, will come right away as well, but only stay a few days...and then maybe a week or two over the summer ( im due late may)

Then I have FIL, SIL, BIL, who can all come at different times, so it should all work out pretty well.

Re: Those who live away from family

Re: Those who live away from family

Whatever decision you make some one is going to be hurt. We made the decision to not have anoyone come for a week after the baby was born just so we could bond and adjust some how to this major change in our lives. We hopes family members would respect that decision. While MY family respected and understood my IL's did not and held it over my head for over a year almost 2! I told my IL's they could come 3 weeks after. My dad came first, then my sister came, then my IL's then my mother, then my BIL and each week there after for 2 solid years we had visitors It was great. s the visiting has slowed 3.5 years later we still see everyone often. good luck in your decision just remember to do whats best for you.
oh my reason for having my family first and each coming one week at a time was thatit just felt more comfortable for me after healing for the birth and adjusting to mother hood and nursing. I needed my family there for support.

Re: Those who live away from family

Re: Those who live away from family

Re: Those who live away from family

we move to NC at the end of the month. We just found out the house may not be done by the time baby arrives. My mom offered to come down and help, which is the one person I prefer. My sister is going to come down a little after, when everyone else is gone so it's more help for me and less hectic.

I am sure we won't be able to stop my ILs from coming, regardless.

If we are in an apartment, they are going to have to stay in a hotel.

Re: Those who live away from family

I live solo in NC. Next time around, I will only have my mother come. Everyone else will only be welcomed for a short visit each day. Come to NC, don't make me and the baby the main attraction.

I was trapped in my room. Engorged...breast pumps...tired. People were having Christmas celebrations in my house all day long. Even though they were staying in hotels, my house was the gathering house.

Inlaws spent Christmas week here. My family and more inlaws came for baptism(3 weeks old).

My mother was a huge help. She came the week he was born, then came back a week later for 3 weeks(she wanted to give my in.laws that week in between)

nieces were sooooo sick, BIL came with a cold, sil came with stomach virus. They just kept coming over to my apt! It was so stressful. It won't happen next time. I never let them near my baby.