QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Thursday Funnies
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend dead.
Wife says, "Keep that up and you'll lose ALL your friends."
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Small Boy writes to Santa Claus, " Send me a brother."
Santa writes back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER!"
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Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
> Stress is when your wife is pregnant,
> Tension is when your girlfriend is pregnant, and
> Panic is when both are pregnant.
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Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yea, once my sister said she missed one and my mom fainted, my dad had a heart attack & our driver ran away.
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Woman asks a man traveling with six children if they're all his kids.
Man says, "No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints."
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A son asks his dad the difference between confidence and confidential.
His dad says, "you're my son, I'm confident of that. Your friend is also my son, that's confidential!"
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Mother says to her teenage daughter:
"It's time we talk about sex.
Daughter (excitedly): Sure mom, tell me what you want to know.
Mother Faints...
Subject: Why the black panties
Karen lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't
Gotten out of her mourning stage.
Her daughter is constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Karen says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies: "Mom! I have someone for you to meet. Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills.
Their first night there, she undresses as he does.
There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties, he in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks: "Why the black panties?" She replies: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning."
He knows he's not getting lucky that night.
The following night is the same scenario. She's standing there with the black panties on, and he is in his birthday suit ... except that he is wearing a black condom.
She looks at him and asks:
"What's with this...a black condom?"
He replies:
I want to offer my deepest condolences?
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