to doula or not to doula?

does anyone have any thoughts? i'm trying to decide if i want one.

to doula or not to doula?

I had one booked and she never showed up. Didn't bother again for the second baby. Not worth it - pretty much everything goes out the window during labor anyway. The nurses were more amazing than I could have expected.

Re: to doula or not to doula?

I didn't. I heard terrible stories of people who had doulas who prioritized their world views--fighting with doctors making decisions, shaming moms for agreeing to c-sections....

I didn't want so many voices in the room, and I trusted my doctors.

to doula or not to doula?

I didn't have one for my first and I never felt during or after the delivery that I would've needed one. The nurses and doctors were amazing.

Re: to doula or not to doula?

I delivered at NYU Langone which is a "baby friendly" hospital so they push for a lot of the same stuff that a doula would, at least as far as I could tell. The nurses were amazing and my OB was great, too. In fact, the whole damn staff from her office was there. I don't think it's necessary and from what little research I did it seemed expensive!

to doula or not to doula?

No doula. IMO, they shouldn't exist. Unless they double as a midwife they have no formal education whatsoever. They push their "natural" agendas, often at the expense of mom and baby. And OBs and nurses HATE them.

If you want someone other than your DH in the delivery room, bring a friend. Friends are free.

Re: to doula or not to doula?

When i got to my third trimester I realized that I wanted to go all natural. It was too late to switch to a midwife practice, so we settled on the next best thing and hired a doula.

We interviewed a lot of them before we found the one whose views and general personality lined up with ours. She was wonderful, she emailed regularly during the rest of the pregnancy and was an excellent support during labor. She was a comforting and calming presence and although I ended up needing an emergency c-section, she helped me get so much further in my labor without any drugs than I ever would have gotten without her IMO.

Doulas are not medical professionals so they should NOT be involving themselves in the medical side of things. A doula is definitely not necessary. In my case her experience and support made me feel much more confident going into it. We could afford it and it made me feel better so I figured, why not?

Message edited 1/20/2017 9:40:42 AM.

Re: to doula or not to doula?

Posted by Momma2015

I delivered at NYU Langone which is a "baby friendly" hospital so they push for a lot of the same stuff that a doula would, at least as far as I could tell. The nurses were amazing and my OB was great, too. In fact, the whole damn staff from her office was there. I don't think it's necessary and from what little research I did it seemed expensive!

to doula or not to doula?

Thanks for the thoughts everyone! I like the idea of having someone who can help after I am home, too. The doula my friend used, who she loved, would do both pre- and post-natal stuff. In theory, I like the idea of having someone there who could be more of a birth coach, and my husband can just be up top holding my hand (I think he's pretty freaked at the idea of watching me push a human out of my nether regions).

Re: to doula or not to doula?

Re: to doula or not to doula?

I had two vaginal deliveries. Both were unmedicated. The first was with my husband as coach (he did an amazing job and the best he could) but I found it almost traumatizing even though it was "successful". The second birth I was considering using an epidural because of how darn painful and somewhat traumatizing the first birth was. Instead I opted to speak with a doula (who also happens to be a home birth midwife). It was the best decision of my life. She helped me feel so much better about my first birth and provided amazing pre and post natal support, resources etc. I credit how amazing my second birth was to her. Wouldn't give birth without her again. My husband still gets teary eyed when he thinks about the birth experience and loved having her there (he was initially hesitant about both the cost and the thought of having/needing "help"). A doula is not there to shame you in any way no matter what birthing path you choose. Like anything else I'm sure there are well trained/not well trained professionals. I would recommend either finding personal references or seeing who you mesh well with. For me I liked the idea of having a doula who also was a trained and experienced midwife as I also have a medical background and wanted someone who I could speak with on that type of level.

Re: to doula or not to doula?

I would say it probably depends on the type of birth experience you want and what your goals are. I planned to have a non medicated, intervention free birth in a hospital setting with a very natural birth friendly OBGYN practice, but doctors nonetheless. I really felt that to achieve my goals, I would need a 3rd party advocate working for me, not the hospital. The delivering doctor would check on me periodically but was not present for an extended period of time until it was time to push. You're left to your own devices for long stretches of time in a hospital. I found it really helpful for both me and my husband to have a doula present to be a sounding board for us and also someone to provide reassurance that everything was OK. As a first timer, my husband and I were both nervous to some degree and it was immensely helpful to have a trained professional (yes, they are trained as doulas) to reassure us at certain points. Not to mention, the extra set of hands to help with pain relief, massage, comfort. There are a lot of emotions tied up in decisions when you're in labor or you're the father of the unborn baby. A doula will have met with you a few times prior to really understand your wishes and limits, and can be an unemotional 3rd party to help you make informed decisions about your care.

Re: to doula or not to doula?

No but I did use a midwife. I had a great natural birth experience.