To have a 3rd child or not?

I am so on the fence. DH really wants 3 b/c he says it has to do with him being 1 of 3 kids... NOTHING to do with the fact there are no boys... neither of us care about "going for a boy". In fact he talks about having "his 3 girls", but if it's a boy it's of course ok too.

I love my 2 girls. I could be done here.. but I'm the oldest of 2 girls so this is what feels normal for me. My feelings for stopping here have to do with first off - I'm finally feeling a little better the thought of another c-section which the docs said there is no other option next time, just makes me queesy. I finally feel like I'm recovered for the most part and I still don't feel great there. I feel our family is basically complete. I wouldnt hate the idea of a 3rd. The desire to have a third is strongest when my little one outgrows outfits both she and her sister wore. I think that's normal though. I do worry though since my 2 are only 14 months apart if we have another when they are 3 and 2 that the third may feel "left out". Maybe I'm overthinking it.

Maybe others can share why they stopped at 2 or why they went for a third - other than the gender thing.

Re: To have a 3rd child or not?

We went for the third. Had two boys and the third was a girl. The boys were 2 1/2 years apart. Our girl is 4 years younger then the youngest boy. It was very hard when they were younger, but its starting to get easier now. The oldest is 12 the youngest is 5. I had three c sections. The last c section was the hardest. I can totally relate to being on the fence about it. I always thought how much easier it would be if we stopped at 2, but now that we have three, i can never imagine what life would be like if we didnt have our third. I firmly believe what's meant to be will be. Whatever decision you make it will be the right one.
Good luck!

Re: To have a 3rd child or not?

Ugh... this is something I think about almost on a daily basis. I am 33, but my DH is 47, so for him, I am pretty sure he is done. My DD is 8 and DS is 8 months and honestly the idea of never being pregnant again bother me.

Re: To have a 3rd child or not?

oh my god! seriously i could have written the same post! wierd.

ok. i have 3 now. dh and i are both 1 of 3. we always wanted 3 BUT after 2 wanted to STOP. my girls are 17 months apart. and i love my girls.- same as you for a 3rd, we didnt care about boy/girl. the only thing with us is, we wanted them close so we put pressure on ourselves.well we WENT for it. and i had a boy.(so different so cool yet love them all!)

if i can be brutally honest..the 3rd threw me over the edge...for a bit. thomas has an allergy and reflux and it was hard..i stay at home with the kids and they are all within 3 years apart. so you can imagine the stress.

but as you know with 2. the newborn stage is NOT easy at all! but it gets easier. im LOVING it right now. my son is 7 months old and is laughing and sitting up and the girls just love him! we are very very happy we did it..i do have to say, dh and i see how our girls interact and we now feel bad for our little guy :( but as we all know..you cant create the perfect family..but if i could? i would go for #4 just to have a brother for my son!

YOU guys do whats right for you. its really hard when you get your health and freedom back.and to have another baby can really put you over the edge..you have to go into it knowing that..i was a little on the cocky side and thought i was a pro..then a new challenge came with the baby that i never expected..but he is now healthy and happy and we feel complete! good luck if you need to talk. fm me if you like!

p.s. how old are your girls now?

Re: To have a 3rd child or not?

OMG DH and I just had this conversation. DS is 13y/o, SD 11y/o and DD is 5 months I guess technically we have 3 children but SD is only with us every 2 wks and when she's over the older kids play with eachother. I feel like DD will be loney b/c her siblings are so much older.

2 things stop us...1) another c-section and 2) finances, we're ok right now but don't know if we'd really be able to afford a 3rd (or 4th I guess) DH seems to think so but I'm hesitant