Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

Told three of my best friends last night and two of them who have 7 and 8 month old babies were very excited and the other one left the room crying because my due date is about 10 days before her wedding.

I felt awful the rest of the night. Like,
Wtf. I don't want to miss your wedding and likely I won't. She didn't even mention leaving and crying. It was so awkward. THis happen to anyone else? I am in her wedding and maybe she knows I won't be able to go to her Bach party? I almost don't even want to know.

Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

Wow, how self centered of her honestly. Peoples lives don't revolve around other peoples weddings. I had a coworker who was the one engaged and her best friend was pregnant. She ended up missing her wedding but she understood and of course was happy for her.

Re: Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

Well that would have been nice. This girl's fiancé said to my husband before "congrats" "so I guess you can't come to my bachelor party?"

He is really good friends with my DH and the girl has been my best friend since we were 3. I cannot cannot believe her reaction. We had no idea how long it would take to get pregnant and weren't going to skip a month trying.

I can't shake this; I am so sad.

Re: Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

And we just bought a new 4 bedroom house a few months ago. What did she expect!? ??

Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

More and more it doesn't surprise me just hoe self centered people can be. I'm sorry you're hurt, I would be too if that was her reaction. Hurt and pissed.

What are you thinking going forward? After being friends so long, I'm assuming you're going to have a talk with her about how it hurt you and she made it all about her?

Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

Did you ask her why she reacted the way she did? It seems selfish and immature but maybe there is something else going on. Is it possible she has fertility issues?
My sister was my MOH and was due two weeks after my wedding. She was very, very pregnant but had a great time at my wedding. She did not participate in my entire bachelorette party but it was not a big deal.

Re: Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

Re: Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

Re: Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

Re: Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

I'm sorry. But that is more than self centered things a "friend" could do. If one of my friends did that to me, considering there were no other underlying issues, such as infertility, I'd def take a step back from the friendship. That was uncalled for. It's not like, if you don't make her wedding, it's because you blew it off. You are having a baby. That's a pretty big deal.

That's so unfortunate that her selfishness ruined your awesome news and excitement. Sorry that happened to you. Screw her!

Re: Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

I think that this is very insensitive of her and id probably re evaluate our friendship. A true friend would be happy for you even if your due date was by her wedding day.

Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

Totally insensitive!!! Hopefully she is just so consumed with wedding planning and normally doesn't act like that.

Message edited 12/21/2014 3:55:34 PM.

Re: Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

Wow!! what a crappy friend!!! How selfish can you be?!

Re: Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

Thanks so much girls.

The other two girls called me later this afternoon and both showed me again how excited they were and that really helped lift my spirits.

Re: Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

That is very selfish of her. Try not to feel bad on your end!

My sis in law's due date was 7 days after my wedding date. Her water broke the morning of my wedding. I only cried because I knew how much she wanted to be with us, but was happy for them anyway! Your friend is being rediculous!!

Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

That's not only self centered but ridiculously babyish and immature. She should be happy for you and any real friend would understand. Do what's best for you in regards to the wedding, but I think if my friend behaved that way I'd politely excuse myself from the wedding party. Keep in mind your due date is 10 days before the wedding. You could go early or you could go late. If you go late and have to have a c-sect chances are you won't be up for this kind of thing. It's also going to be hard to leave a baby that young as a new mom. Lots to consider here....

Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

That's really sad and disappointing. Hopefully it's just shock and surprise and she'll come around when she thinks it out it a little. Not to excuse her at all, because I'd feel the same way you do, but it's got to be hard being the last one married while all your friends have kids already. I know you said she doesn't have fertility issues, but remember this means 3 of her best friends will have babies before she's even married. That may be the real cause of the reaction. Especially if you guys are over 30. It's probably better you didn't discuss it in front of her anyhow. I remember how it felt on my girls weekends with my college friends. Hours of baby talk while i was doing infertility was horrible, but I know my friend who isn't married was equally as frustrated with the constant baby discussions, or maybe more. Now that I'm pregnant I try to keep my discussion of baby with her to a bare minimum, and let her bring it up, even though she's super happy for me. And I make sure to focus on her a lot when we talk. When we all went away together I of course discussed baby and picked my friends brains, but I also was conscious to try to steer the conversation away from babies for my single friend. I have another close friend I've hardly spoken to since telling her and I know she loves me, and is happy for me, but is struggling that I'm 2 years younger then her, pregnant, and she's still waiting for a proposal. I try not to take it personally and hope she'll come around. Pregnancy will do that to people.

Message edited 12/22/2014 6:16:44 AM.

Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

That said, if it's really about her wedding then I'd reevaluate the friendship, but give her a chance to let it soak in first.

Re: Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

Re: Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

I really hope she contacts you to apologize. If you guys have been friends that long, that's seriously NOT COOL. That's not a reasonable way to react as an adult. Shame on her!

Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

In no way would I defend her actions but Brides are CRAZY! The way she reacted was wrong and insensitive - especially since you both have been friends for a long time. Sometimes people can't help their first impulse reaction but she should have calmed herself down, said I know its not all about me, I am happy for you and then congratulate you.

I am in a similar situation - my cousin is/was getting married in Mexico on my due date. Did I plan it that way - no! We have been dealing with infertility for 2+ years and stopped trying and miraculously got pregnant. I have not told that part of the family yet because I know the backlash will be terrible - and not from my cousin but from her sister. BUT she has now said that she is postponing the wedding until 2016 - which alleviates some of my stress but I know something will still be said - not directly to me but I will find out about it.

Re: Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

Told my 3 best friends and one of them...

That's really selfish of her. Have you talked to her yet? What is she planning for her bach party? Why wouldn't you be able to go? And your DH should definitely be going to his friend's bachelor party! There is no reason why he can't.