Too many nannies! What would you do? UPDATE!

Ok! So many of you have followed my saga. I took Jordana out of daycare and hired my sister's babysiter. Here is some background.

R: My sister (a SAHM) hired R to babysit sat. nights about a year ago. R is very bright. She is in school to be a nurse. She has been a professional babysitter for years and has worked with her current family for over 4 years. She is always educating my neice and has a very active "nanny" schedule- museums, parks, playdates, classes- that she has taken it upon herself to schedule (not the classes). R is a very nice person, but she is not as warm as I am. My sister says she takes a little while to get comfortable with her, but my sister is very comfortable with her now.

When I was pregnant I expressed interest to R in having her be Jordana's nanny. When I gave birth we discussed it again and we were far away on price. My sister suggested she watch her daughter part time and would chip in. Then we could afford R's price. I left her a message saying we accept her price. She called me the next day and told me her DH was laid off and she needed more $ (she was taking a price cut to work for us). We couldn't match what she needed, so we put Jordana in daycare. Recently my sister decided she wants some part time help and we hired R to be Jordana's full time babysitter and my neice's part time. She can't work nights, but that wasn't too much of a problem.

L: Jordana was in a daycare and there was one teacher I really loved, L. L was very warm and loving. I had decided to use her as an evening babysitter and (thankfully) I took her number. L left the daycare suddenly in October/November. I heard that she went to give her 2 weeks notice and was let go.
Yesterday I called L about babysitting one night and left her a message. Coincidentally- I ran into her on the street on my way to pick up Jordana. She mentioned that she was looking for a full time position adn heard that I had taken Jordana out of daycare and if I were interested.

I mentioned this to my sister and she suggested I find out how much she is going to charge. So L called me today to finalize things for that evening I need her. I asked how much she charges and it is significantly cheaper than what R wants! Now I don’t think my sister would chip in and use her (since she doesn’t know her at first). But still, it would be cheaper than hiring R. She is also available nights. I feel very comfortable with L. I have no problem telling her to do some cleaning. I don’t feel as comfortable with R (based mostly on my sister).

Some things at my work have changed and I need to go to some events at night. R is planning on taking evening classes so would not be available. But she has not registered for her classes yet- so that can be changed.

So I don’t know what to do. I think that R is very bright and will stimulate and educate Jordana. She has a nanny network who she can go to museums with and the park. But L is more loving and I know her better. She is also available evenings and charges a lot less.

Obviously I have to firm up the finances and see if R would be available evenings. What would you do?

ETA: I already made a committment to R. That was why I was considering it. But she hasn't given notice yet.

UPDATE UPDATE!
Hey guys, DH and I have thought about this a lot over the last few days. Thank you so much for your imput.

I don't know if I was clear about this, but we already offered R the job a few weeks ago. In fact, 2 weeks ago she and I sat down and discussed all the terms. I feel really bad renigging on the deal so close to the holidays and so soon from her start date. I know she hasn't given notice yet, but I take my word very seriously. As my dad use to say, "your word is your bond." and that is something I have always taken to heart.

So what we decided to do is to call R and let her know the change in my work situation and now I need someone for 2 nights a week- and those nights may change from week to week. If that doesn't work with her school schedule, I will understand if she can't work for us. But if she can accomodate the evenings, then we will go with her. Since my sister is contributing $ to have R watch her daughter while she watches mine, the money is pretty much the same either way. I just think that is the fair thing to do. I have no doubt that Jordana will be in good hands with her and this way I don't feel guilty about backing out of a deal I alraedy made with someone.

So what do you guys think? Am I doing the right thing or am I being silly about having committed to R? Your imput is definitely appreciated!!

Message edited 12/10/2006 7:02:13 PM.

Re: Too many nannies! What would you do?

My opinion is to go with the girl from Jordana's daycare. I'm assuming you're looking for someone long-term and if this other woman is going to school to be a nurse, it's only a matter of time before she needs to be doing hours and eventually gets a job.
As for the stimulation aspect, I think it's more important that someone be warm and loving because you can guide her as to the activities you'd like her to do with Jordana. You can't teach someone to be warm and loving. That's how I see it. HTH!

Re: Too many nannies! What would you do?

I agree, you definatley sound more comfortable with the girl from the daycare. How many museums does a baby need anyway, and who says L cant do that.

Good luck!

Re: Too many nannies! What would you do?

Go with L.
R sounds good in terms of nanny network, museums, intellect, etc, but doesn't have the warmth (at least right off the bat).

But L may have (or can build up) her nanny network, and for all you know she will do the same as far as museums, etc. Or you ask her to do that. Plus you already know she's loving and caring. It would be easier to explain to L you want her to do these things w/ Jordana, than to explain to R that you want her to act more loving and warm, if that makes any sense.

Plus L is cheaper and available at night, which is, to me, the tie-breaker.

But is R under the assumption you're definitely hiring her? Would your sister be upset if you didn't share her w/ your sister (money wise)? Either way I think L is the way to go.

Good luck!!

Re: Too many nannies! What would you do?

I would go with L. You're more comfortable with her. Also, I'm not thrilled that R has changed her price after you agreed - it's not a good way to start things out.

As for your sister not willing to go pt with L because she doesn't know her - you don't really know "R" & at one point neither did your sister. I would hire L with an agreed price. Discuss the possiblity that down the line, your sister may want to use her p/t & get her thoughts on it. Let your sister know she's available to help with her dd if & when she's comfortable.

L is less expensive, will help out with light housework & available week nights if necessary - and more importantly you like her. I'd say it's a no brainer.

Re: Too many nannies! What would you do?

Re: Too many nannies! What would you do?

Go with who you are more comfortable with.

Re: Too many nannies! What would you do?

Re: Too many nannies! What would you do?

L sounds like the better choice to me too.

The only thing bothering me.....why did the daycare fire her? Beacause she was going to leave? Or was she leaving because they were going to fire her? I would clear that up before I let her into my home and trusted her with my DC. JMO

Re: Too many nannies! What would you do?

Shelly, i would go with the girl from Daycare. At least Jordana has interacted with her and it seems that she would work better for you.

good luck !!!!

xxxxxxx

Message edited 2/9/2007 8:27:40 PM.

Re: Too many nannies! What would you do?

Re: Too many nannies! What would you do?

Re: Too many nannies! What would you do? UPDATE!

BUMP for update in first post and here:

UPDATE UPDATE!
Hey guys, DH and I have thought about this a lot over the last few days. Thank you so much for your imput.

I don't know if I was clear about this, but we already offered R the job a few weeks ago. In fact, 2 weeks ago she and I sat down and discussed all the terms. I feel really bad renigging on the deal so close to the holidays and so soon from her start date. I know she hasn't given notice yet, but I take my word very seriously. As my dad use to say, "your word is your bond." and that is something I have always taken to heart.

So what we decided to do is to call R and let her know the change in my work situation and now I need someone for 2 nights a week- and those nights may change from week to week. If that doesn't work with her school schedule, I will understand if she can't work for us. But if she can accomodate the evenings, then we will go with her. Since my sister is contributing $ to have R watch her daughter while she watches mine, the money is pretty much the same either way. I just think that is the fair thing to do. I have no doubt that Jordana will be in good hands with her and this way I don't feel guilty about backing out of a deal I alraedy made with someone.

So what do you guys think? Am I doing the right thing or am I being silly about having committed to R? Your imput is definitely appreciated!!

Re: Too many nannies! What would you do? UPDATE!

I do agree about your word, and since you offered her the job it would not be fair to reneg on it. I think you did the right thing about still letting R keep the job unless her night schedule gets to be too crazy. Then maybe you can use L at night??

Re: Too many nannies! What would you do? UPDATE!

While I certainly respect the fact the you would like to honor your word, as a mom who has btdt I truly believe you have to go with whom you think will ultimaltely be more reliable and be there longer. I would consider each of their personal situations, previous lengths of employment and whether this is a short term gig or really the way they chose to make their income.

I hate to say this but I have seen SO many friends lose help because something just changed in the nannies life. I have personally always preferred a grown up who makes their living watching children and who does not necessarily have career goals.

Message edited 12/10/2006 8:41:50 PM.

Re: Too many nannies! What would you do? UPDATE!

I think that R plans on going to school at night to finish her nursing degree and your job situation has changed a bit then most likely she will not be able to commit to you. I think you should offer and she what she says.
I also think that since Jordana might have a bond already L and that she has worked in a daycare center she might stimulate Jordana just as much and seems much more accomidating.
I would be hoping R says no and L says, bottomline. It just seems like it might be to much for you and an added headache if she cant be their for nights and if you are paying something that amount of money I feel they should be more accomidating.