Too much at once!

I have been laid off for over a year. I have had such bad work experiences this past decade so I have gaps and now my graphics skills are dried up and I have no confidence so honestly, I don't try. I get too anxious. I feel under qualified but my resume make me seem over qualified. I don't want to drop off my first jobs because those were the most impressive and I was there longer not jumping around.

Additionally, I finally met MR. Right and we will marry in 5 months. He moved in with mom and I to save money for this wedding. Mom is helping too. I am not working and hate not contributing. But how can I start a job while planning a wedding when I won't get any time off a day or two before the wedding and a few days after for a get away?

Also, I will be 45 in 2 months so I am also starting fertility testing because of my age. I am afraid to start a job while dealing with fertility, hormones and pregnancy with no time accrued for maternity leave?

Also, Mom can be difficult to live with at times and my fiance feels like a guest, hates the fighting and drama which is no good for me either, and it's affecting him. DH wants to move out but he can't support us both.

This is too much. I hate job searching when I feel like my resume has gaps and I am under qualified yet I feel pressure to help pay for the wedding and afford to move out but I worry about losing the job with the wedding distractions so close and then fertility and maternity leave?

DH says to take it one day at a time but I feel discouraged and strung out. The news about the economy makes me feel even worse to get just a p/t job. My COBRA health coverage ends soon, before I get married and I need health coverage. I feel so screwed at a time I should be happy about this wedding I've always wanted and such a great guy.

I feel so afraid that I won't get a job or lose the job with all on my plate. I need help with this. Perhaps it's my anxious thoughts caught in a vicious cycle I can't see any way out of. Any good therapeutic advice? I am stuck.

Message edited 1/14/2010 1:49:39 AM.

Re: Too much at once!

Honestly, I would be looking for a job if I were in your shoes.

Most places are pretty understanding and will give you the time off if you are hired, if you are upfront with them about the days you need once you are hired.

Granted they may not always be paid days off, but the more time that goes by that you don't look, the harder it's going to be.

You certainly do not have to mention all that's going on in your personal life in your interviews, either!!

Re: Too much at once!

I would focus on looking for a job...If you are offered a job (and only after an offer has been made), then I would make sure to be up front about your upcoming wedding.

I wouldnt hesitate about the children issue. I would focus on one thing at a time.

Re: Too much at once!

Thanks for your input. I've probably lost confidence in the work world and can't bare going out in it again. I've taken jobs the past few years where they micromanage me to the point where I feel stifled. Stuff like going to the bathroom, taking any kind of personal call etc. And, I am so tired these days, a whole week of working is too much. By Thursday, I start to feel over emotional and strung out.

I did gain weight and don't do any exercise while at home so I need to start before holding down any full time job. Also because lately they don't do 9-5 anymore. Last year I took a job in Manhattan where I've worked the most in the past. However, summer hours kicked in and so I worked 9 hour days and half a Friday. It nearly killed me and I got tired, unproductive and emotional. I was let go. Makes a person feel like they can't hack the work world. As a creative personality, I can't work in a rigid place that doesn't let me breathe either. In this economy though, what is out there? Feel like I'll have to take anything. I will probably wind up somewhere where they will make me crazy about the little things and not want me to take days off even for my wedding!
Am I just reacting to bad experiences?

Re: Too much at once!

Don't worry about the "what if's". You will continue to sabotage yourself from moving forward in ANY job if you do.

Re: Too much at once!

Message edited 5/14/2010 3:24:09 PM.