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randella
Love my little man
Member since 8/05 16290 total posts
Name:
Randi
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Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
Now that Sasha is almost a year old, I can't use EBF as an excuse anymore-- although I do plan to continue for when she wakes up and at bedtime for a little longer.
DH really wants to do some nights away or something, but I cannot bear to leave Sasha.
We have a wedding in New Orleans in May-- and I am still not sure if we should bring her. My mom will take her otherwise for the weekend. My dad just said to me, he'd take her for a few days out to the Hamptons this summer and I am thinking-- no f'ing way!!
I also just got a new freelance gig, which will have me out of the house a bit more-- although I will work 90% of the time from home, but I will still probably need someone to watch her while I work.
How can I learn to be away from her? I am so attached to her. Even when we go out at night, and she is sleeping-- I miss her because I am not home.
Any tips from BTDT moms?
Message edited 1/18/2010 7:55:14 PM.
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Posted 1/18/10 7:54 PM  |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
Ya gotta just do it...
IMO, it is better for both of you, she can spend some quality time with her grandparents and you can spend some time with your DH.
We haven't left DS that many times, but we are this week and I canNOT wait. 
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| Posted 1/18/10 7:58 PM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
I have no advice, but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone...
DS is 4 and the only time I have been away from him overnight was when I was in the hospital after having DD
( and it broke my heart )
This is coming from someone who was all about " we are going to take alone vacations" before we actually had the kids...That ALL changed- we are lucky to get out for a few hours, let alone overnight somewhere....
If you have someone (parents etc..) that you think you would feel comfortable leaving her with ( we unfortunately do not) , then maybe try for a night ( leave after she's sleeping and come home early...See how she
( you  ) do 
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| Posted 1/18/10 8:00 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
Have another baby 
I have no advice. I was the same way with Miranda. I didn't spend a night away from her until she was 2 and even then it was only one night. Then came Hudson. I was off to Vegas when he was 9 months old.
I will say the 1st time is the hardest. If you now she'll be content with your dad or your mom I say go for it. The break honestly will be so refreshing.
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| Posted 1/18/10 8:00 PM |
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bonitachyc
big sister status may 2012!!
Member since 5/08 3242 total posts
Name:
Lupe
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
baby steps? the freelance gig will ease you into it little by little. try to "peel" yourself away from her as much as you can bear. it's gonna be hard, but you need to do this now rather than later. i was able to send DD to nyc with DH for a long weekend (fri-mon) and we were all well prepared.
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| Posted 1/18/10 8:56 PM |
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luckyinlove
I love my baby girls!
Member since 12/06 2441 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
You are absolutely not alone. I am the same exact way and everyone thinks i am a freak, including my DH. I think BFing has something to do with it, but it may just be the way I am with her. I have like 10 weddings to go to this year, and I don't want to go to any of them bc I will miss her and think no one else will be able to get her to sleep. I work FT, but I am a teacher, so I am home by 3 every day, and I come home on my lunch break so it isn't so bad. The nights are a whole other story, though!
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| Posted 1/18/10 9:01 PM |
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ruby
you rang?
Member since 6/08 5573 total posts
Name:
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
I could have written this post myself and for kinda the same reasons. We haven't gone anywhere yet since I still BF Shane but as we approach his year birthday I'll slowly be weaning him and DH is DYING to get away. He said he can't take it anymore and feels like he's been stuck in our apt forever (he's quite dramatic obviously). Yes I know that DS will be fine without us, it's that I don't know that I can be without him. And I think I'm really scared that any more than one night and a day away, what if I get back and he doesn't want to BF anymore?? I'm not ready for that yet and DH does not understand at all.  So, I feel your pain, and I don't know what to do either.
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| Posted 1/18/10 9:20 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
in 2.5 years I have only left Jack for two nights, and both times he was home with my husband (they were girls trips) so I can't really say. I know that we are taking a weekend trip this year just the two of us and the thought of leaving the boys literally makes me cringe. I would imagine that biting the bullet earlier on will make it easier as time goes on.
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| Posted 1/18/10 9:22 PM |
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Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
Posted by KateDevine
Ya gotta just do it...
IMO, it is better for both of you, she can spend some quality time with her grandparents and you can spend some time with your DH.
We haven't left DS that many times, but we are this week and I canNOT wait.
ITA with this. We have only done overnights with the grandparents so far (but a decent number of times including this weekend) and every time I practically cry when I leave and have a very hard time waking up to him not being there and rush out to pick him up.
I did travel for 2 nights on business last year and have to do it again in 2 weeks and I still DREAD it. We're also going to a wedding in Key West at the end of Feb which will be 3 nights and I hope it goes well. I will say the longer you wait to do it, the harder it is on you AND her
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| Posted 1/18/10 9:26 PM |
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mamasita27
OHANA
Member since 8/07 5974 total posts
Name:
MB
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
Posted by KateDevine
Ya gotta just do it...
IMO, it is better for both of you, she can spend some quality time with her grandparents and you can spend some time with your DH.
We haven't left DS that many times, but we are this week and I canNOT wait.
ITA!!! it's wonderful for you as parents and for DD :)
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| Posted 1/18/10 10:10 PM |
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megsm3
Life is Good!!
Member since 8/06 3867 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
I feel the same. I only left my older DD once and that was when I went into the hospital to have my younger one. I have no desire to go away without them. My parents never did and DH has not made any requests so I doubt we will.
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| Posted 1/18/10 10:14 PM |
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Deedlebugs
Blessed
Member since 12/05 10281 total posts
Name:
Kiki
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
I haven't left Nina yet overnight, she is almost 2. Im due to have DS any day and now Im freaking out about leaving her for 2+ days. My only advice would be, do it, go enjoy yourself, and know that Sasha will be safe and happy with her grandparents.
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| Posted 1/18/10 10:15 PM |
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
Let me know when you figure it out bc I have no idea how I will ever leave Santino for anything..lol! My sil is always like when you gonna come sleep over so we can steal you away from mommy and I'm thinking in my head...NEVER!!!! I like my boy with me at all times, night/daylol
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| Posted 1/18/10 11:01 PM |
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Blissful
Ultimate Expression of LOVE
Member since 6/08 4985 total posts
Name:
Maria
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
I don't know. Alexa is 11 months and we have YET to leave her with ANYONE... for ANY period of time.... she has always been with either me or DH.... I'm lucky DH can "work from home" on days I need to be out.....
I can't "cut the cord" either...
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| Posted 1/18/10 11:07 PM |
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Myababy
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 1171 total posts
Name:
Shira
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
I left dd with my parents for 2 nights when she was 4 months old to shoot a wedding out in Montauk and decided to make a girls weekend out of it w/ friends. I was also ebf at the time. It was tough!!!! But I had a great time and was soooo excited to see her when I got home. I am leaving her again for 4 nights in Feb. to go skiing with dh and I am excited but dreading it at the same time even though I know I will have a great time.
Its so hard but agree with you just have to do it. I'm not sure it ever gets easier but I think its good for both of you. jmo.
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| Posted 1/18/10 11:21 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
Posted by Blissful
I don't know. Alexa is 11 months and we have YET to leave her with ANYONE... for ANY period of time.... she has always been with either me or DH.... I'm lucky DH can "work from home" on days I need to be out.....
I can't "cut the cord" either...
DD is 14 mths and has never been with anyone other than Dh or me as well. There really isn't anyone I feel ok to do that with, plus there really has been no reason to leave her without us.
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| Posted 1/18/10 11:28 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
Posted by KateDevine
Ya gotta just do it...
IMO, it is better for both of you, she can spend some quality time with her grandparents and you can spend some time with your DH.
Completely agree! You just have to do it...
One of the most important lessons I've learned about motherhood is that the SINGLE GREATEST gift I can give to my children, particularly daughters, is the role model of a healthy, attentive, prioritized marriage... one that doesn't always take the backburner to my children, and in fact, one that often takes priority over them, to show them how exactly important we are to one another - you NEED that time alone with DH to start fostering that close bond again
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| Posted 1/19/10 8:17 AM |
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nicknmb
SISTERS!
Member since 1/06 5193 total posts
Name:
MaryBeth
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
I totally agree that I really think the Bfing thing is a "hard" bond. Although I am not EBFing anymore, I still BF in the AM & PM. And while I am OK going out at night, I cannot imagine not being there when DD wakes up in the morning. I think like some PPs have said, you just have to do it. Book a hotel in New Orleans and leave Sasha with your mom. Just do it. You will be fine and so will she.
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| Posted 1/19/10 8:52 AM |
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NinaLemon
It's a boy!!!
Member since 10/07 6453 total posts
Name:
Jeannine
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
I understand how you feel. Last weekend I was away from DS for 7 hours, it was the first time I had been away from him for more than 2 hours. He was home with DH and I was still missing him and calling to make sure everything was OK.
I have a business out of my house which has been getting busier recently so I have been considering putting him in daycare for a day or two a week. I know it would be good for both of us, but I can't help but cry everytime I think about it.
Like PPs have said, I think baby steps is the way to go. It really is good for the baby to be with other people and it is good for us to get some adult time.
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| Posted 1/19/10 9:13 AM |
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carlowlou
loving my babies!
Member since 4/08 4594 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
we left DD (6 months) with my mom overnight twice and I was alright with it because we weren't going anywhere far away and twice overnight with my MIL when we were in the next hotel room!
But this weekend, I will be leaving her overnight with DH (which is fine because he is father and I completely trust him) BUT this time I am going on an overnight cruise and I am FREAKING out because I know I will miss her and I am worried about not being contactable on the ship. So I understand your worries. But my thoughts on this are that I just need to do it and it won't be as bad as I think it will be and then hopefully the next time DH and I want to go somewhere far away overnight, we can do it with minimal worry and enjoy ourselves.
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| Posted 1/19/10 9:44 AM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Travel spinoff-- "Cutting the cord" so to speak...
Randi - It's like a band-aid, you just got to rip it off and do it!
We didn't leave Samantha until she was 9 months old (really for no other reason then we had no plans to go anywhere). We left her with my IL's for a weekend so we could celebrate our anniversary.
Prior to that, though she had many sleep overs at their house if we had plans on a Saturday night or something. (we would stay over).
I missed her like crazy, but it was GOOD to not have to be mommy for 48 hours!
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| Posted 1/19/10 9:45 AM |
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