TTC and Spontanity

Hi all.. just have a question.... Anyone out there who's DH finds that TTC is soooo planned and not spontanious anymore???? My DH feels like it's penciled in all the time, which I explained to him that at certain times of the month unfortunatley it will be..... Or when we finally do get around to BD it's late at night and sometimes one or both of us is just not in the mood... Arrgh!!! so frustating... Anyone else going through this???

Re: TTC and Spontanity

I sometimes feel like it can be an obligation...I think because it can get tiring I understand what you are saying. I think the fact that all of us are probably feeling a bit anxious does not help any. It's hard to not focus on what our "goal" is, so I'm sure we're not alone!!

Re: TTC and Spontanity

Once I went off of birth control, things were different. The "this could be it," or "what if," or "I hope that...," factors added elements of stress that changed things. However, on some level, I think it also changed the type of intimacy. The idea that we could be creating life, is something so precious and, IMO, the ultimate experience a husband and wife can share with each other.

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I started charting right from the get-go, and my "time" with DH is pretty limited anyway (he works out of state- we've only been seeing each other 1-2 nights a weeks)- so YES, it was definitely more clinical than desirable.

I'll never forget after day 3 of my jumping his bones, him sitting in the bed with the covers pulled up to his chin telling me I was making him feel like "piece of meat".

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Yes, the spontaneity does get overlooked. We just try a little harder to incorporate the romance of it and think about what a beautiful reward we will have

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Yeah it's definately frustrating, especially when our normal scedule is like 2 times a week and now we have to do it 3-4 days in a row. It's more forced than actually wanting to do it. But he's become more understanding now that it's been 5 months and still no baby.

Re: TTC and Spontanity

Message edited 3/27/2008 9:48:22 AM.

Re: TTC and Spontanity

i'm doing the same as sweetness but i think he's getting suspicious since last week after the BD marathon - I wasn't in the mood - gets tiring and he works nites sometimes too etc...

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Thanks Sweetnes.. I think that is what I need to do.... I find that I talk about it soooooooo much and I do see where he is coming from , but I also see where I'm coming from.... I just need to keep it more to myself... Thanks for the advice

Re: TTC and Spontanity

Posted by sweetness

Dh was extremely worried about this and feeling like a piece of meat that i need for baby making. He wanted to make sure baby making stayed love making. Which was in the beginning why he didn't want me to chart, but as soon as i stopped including him in my monthly body workings, he took my temp for me every am.

So even though i charted, did OPK's, i NEVER told him a damn thing. He had no clue when my fertile days were, what days what for baby making, and what days were just for fun.

Try to keep him out of the loop, i know it's hard since he is your #2 confidant, but that's what where here for

I betcha you anything if you keep him out of the loop and don't tell him your fertile days or what's going on with your cm, s e x and romance will be back, with only you knowing you are baby making at certain times of the month.

good luck

Re: TTC and Spontanity

That is why I am just going with the flow...I hope it works, so I don't have to do any charting, temping, etc...

Re: TTC and Spontanity

Re: TTC and Spontanity

i definitely feel like the spontanity has been taken out. My DH knows that I go on these boards and I guess I share TMI with him, b/c he now knows all the abbreviations---CM, BD, etc.
Last mth. I made my DH BD one night, even though all he wanted to do was sleep.

Re: TTC and Spontanity

exactly. it gets frustrating. my DH works 24 hours shifts and sometimes we don't see each other for 48 hours so i need that opk

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It can be sooooooo tiring, all the BD-ing...

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sometimes the spontanity is not fully there... I remember once when i demanded it of him, since i recognized the "highly fertile mucus" someone posted on here, and Im like i dont care whether you want it or not, your doing it didnt have resistance from him

i have not started charting temps since dh wants to be more natural... ttc since december