UGHHHH... My brother just called....

He wants to know if I can take his son for the summer.

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

why?

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

WELL...

My brother is going nuts. Im sure everyone remembers that he is a single father. The babies Mother doesnt see him or give him any child support. She told my brother she can't afford to feed herself so if he sends the baby there on her DAYS off... My brother would have to PAY HER..

Shes a trash loser (she has a daughter by someone else who lives in Michigan with her father)

Hes on the phone right now almost in tears. He says he doesnt want me to think hes trying to pawn him off on me or that he doesn't want him. He just needs a break.

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

The WHOLE summer? Wow....hope it's just because he really likes spending time with you!

ETA...I just saw your other post...Wow...that's hard....but babies come with responsibility, not breaks for the whole summer. This will be a hard decision for you to make so good luck....

Message edited 5/6/2006 12:32:27 PM.

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

Well, that is an awfully big request...but I guess I would be willing to help out because I'd feel bad for the kid and family is family. But dont you work full time - would YOU have to pay for day care? How would that work?

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

I know... I almost fell off the chair when he asked. See the thing is I WOULD LOVE TO HELP. BUT I don't have kids yet. (I hope that doesnt sound mean)


I want to help. I said we both work full time and he said I know. I would pay Day Care. I just need a break blah blah blah... I feel SO BAD and I want to help but WOW thats a HUGE responsibility!

Our neighbor growing up has an 8 year old and is home for the summer. My brother said he would pay her if she would watch him when we are at work.


I feel bad cause he lives in Florida and HAS NO family there. My parents also live here and im sure if need be I could always ask my parents its just they are older... and can't chase a 4 year old

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

well at least you have some options but i think that a whole summer is A LOT.

I think that maybe for a few weeks to a month is generous.

I am sure he is overwhelmed right now but i think asking for him to stay the entire summer is tooo much

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

I know you want to help your brother out, but an 8 year old watching a 4 year old??? I thought you need to be at least 13 to be left alone at home.

If you want to help him out, I would tell him that you'll play it by ear & there are no promises. Committing to the entire summer is a lot.

eta. Juney - I think you have one of the biggest hearts.

Message edited 5/6/2006 12:49:10 PM.

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

and i agree with Barbara...
i would never let an 8 year old watch him...

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

That is a lot to ask. But it sounds possible and you'd actually be doing some good for your nephew because if his dad is that stressed, you can imagine how the boy is feeling. He is feeling the effects of that right now. You brother must really be feeling it to reach out like this. He'll be a better parent once he gets that break that he seems to need pretty badly.

But the whole summer is too much. I would say a month is good. You are meeting him halfway and still helping out ALOT.

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

Wow-

You can still help him out, and not take the baby the WHOLE summer???

WHat if you just took the baby every other weekend... or 1 or 2 days a week.....
Thats still alot.... but def. enough to give himself a break....


Poor little baby..... sending lots of to all of you!

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

This may sound harsh but he got himself into this situation and although he is at his wit's end, this is not your responsibility. He needs to grow up and face reality. I think you could offer to have him come for a 2 week visit, with him paying for childcare, is more than anyone should ask.

I know this is a hard decision for you and I pray you have the strength to make the right decision for you

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

has your nephew ever been away from him for a long period of time? i would think that that would worry or scare a child at that age

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

Juney - you and Mike are sweet and generous people, but this is a HUGE thing to ask of you. I know it's your brother and I know it's your nephew and I know you feel badly because of the situation, but IMO, this is just too big of a responsibility and committment. I think a week or two AT MOST is more than generous and that will give your brother a little break to get his head together. I don't mean to sound like a beyotch, but your brother just stop being a dad for the summer because he can't deal with it right now - he has a son and he has responsibilities. I know your nephew's mother is a complete loser, but he has to get through this - certainly with help from the family, but he just can't choose to give away all his responsibility.
I cannot imagine how hard this is for you guys and you know I'm here to talk to and to vent to.

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

I married into a family where this req seem like a normal thing. Follow your gut. I hate that you are even in this situation to have to think about it and feel guilty. I know how much you love your nephew. You don't NEED to do this to be a great aunt. You will always be a positive role in his life. If you feel like you are up for it, then do it. I just hope you don't have to dwell on the decision making too long. I pray you have the strength to let your brother know your true feeling, either for or against.

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

I think you also need to explain to your brother that it must be tough enough that his mom really isnt in his life... he would probably feel awful that his dad needed that much of a break from him too...

I think ultimatley its this boy thats going to be hurt...maybe you can help out by taking him for a couple days at a time...but his dad should never let this boy think he doesnt want him for the whole summer...

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

Wow. I'm so sorry that you have to make such a huge decision. If it were me, as much as I would want to help out and take my nephew in, I think that ultimately, for stability's sake, I'd explain to my brother that he really needs to be with his dad. If he's willing to pay for childcare up here, why don't you suggest that he get a nanny for the times that he's at home? Kind of like a dad's helper? Or even a babysitter to watch him for a few hours each evening so your brother can have some time to himself. I'm sure he's totally overwhelmed, but having him spend the summer with you will only be a temporary situation, it's only a matter of time before it becomes overwhelming again. You're a great person for even considering doing this for your brother and nephew

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

That is a hard decision. I am sorry I dont have any advice but

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

Posted by CkGm

This may sound harsh but he got himself into this situation and although he is at his wit's end, this is not your responsibility. He needs to grow up and face reality. I think you could offer to have him come for a 2 week visit, with him paying for childcare, is more than anyone should ask.

I know this is a hard decision for you and I pray you have the strength to make the right decision for you

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....

that's a lot to handle...has he looked into gov't assistance or legal actions against the mother?

I give him props for being a single dad!

Re: UGHHHH... My brother just called....