ugh...working mom vent!!!

right now I am working on something major and huge at work. it has it's lulls every so often during the day and then BAM...full throttle...especially in the afternoon. I find myself working LATE and the rest of my team has been working on the weekends. even people not in my unit are working on the weekends b/c this case is just enormous and our office is going full tilt.

the thing is this...I work on the case all day. it's my unit, my case. other people from other parts of the office are working on it after hours/weekends for overtime (well, comp time b/c my office can't pay OT right now) and with the exception of my unit members, it's VOLUNTEER.

I have been working late but have not worked on weekend. I did volunteer a few weeks ago to come in on Saturday's but my particular function in the case leaves no work for me on Saturday's anyway.....so we figured it was not necessary ultimately.

but last night we had a MAJOR deal. I finished by work by 7, but other components by others were not yet completed. now, I would have stayed but I had to leave last night b/c my MIL had church. I had to put my son to BED. but of course, besides my boss I am the only person working on this case that has a kid.

so I get home to my son...gave him cereal and blueberries for dinner. FOR DINNER. and my husband went for take out while I put him to sleep.

this is not how I want to live my home life. at all. I have a job that is BELOW my skill set and I do it b/c I have less responsbilitiy ON PAPER than my other team mates. I maintain this job b/c it allows me a great home life balance...normally. but times like this I feel responsibile for the work and I feel bad leaving my team members and not offering help.

I NEVER leave my work undone. but I still feel like I should stay and help others with their stuff...but at the same time...cereal and blueberries and take out??? NO!

I realize that technically there is nothing wrong with what we ate last night and that it's actually quite healthy for my son. but it's the effort I DID NOT put in that bothers me.

but I feel the same way when I leave work with people struggling on something I am a part of.

I really dont' know if there is even a remedy for this. I just needed to vent.

it's just really really hard sometimes.

Re: ugh...working mom vent!!!

I am in the same boat as you. It is really hard. I feel guilty leaving my job with unfinished work to be done but then I feel guilty if I stay and I get home so late that I can't enjoy my daughter.

UGH..I feel your pain.

I feel bad leaving others behind at work but I have to do what's best for my family too. I still can't seem to find the perfect balance of work and family life...I am still struggling.

Just think of it as temporary and you will eventually go back to your normal routine.



You are doing a great job!

Message edited 3/22/2011 10:35:58 AM.

Re: ugh...working mom vent!!!

I say it all the time... being a full time working mom is the hardest thing I've ever done. There is an emotional toll that it definitely hard to handle.

Some weeks I am very successful at it, some weeks I feel just as you do. My son gets scrambled eggs for dinner and few cheerios and it's off to bed.

I keep my eye on the prize - the prize being the great life I am providing for my son. Your son will grow up and be proud of his mama and will never remember that dinner only consisted of cereal and blueberries.

For us moms, it's a different story. I always remember the nights where I feel like I'm not cutting it. I just keep going; every day is a new day. A new day to be a great mommy, wife and employee. Don't get yourself down about it. You do the best you can and that's all you can do!

Re: ugh...working mom vent!!!

It's never easy being a working mom...you know your priorities....it stinks but it's temporary right.. just push thru this time and things will return to normal when it's over..then you can spoil DH and DS rotten again!!

Re: ugh...working mom vent!!!

Sometimes you're just too tired and you have to allow for that.

Working mom is tough. Working mom having to put in extra hours? Way tough.

DD1 has gotten cereal for dinner numerous times. Sometimes I don't have the energy to put the effort in or the time when we're running behind schedule and she is hungry. She has had take out meals on occasion. It happens.
Overall though? She's a happy, healthy kid and that is what matters most. She is well adjusted, has a great vocabulary and is happy.

OK, so you gave DS cereals and blueberries. Do you think he cared? I bet he cared more that his Mommy was there to put him to bed and kiss him good night than he would have cared about a hot meal.

Re: ugh...working mom vent!!!

Your only Human!

Re: ugh...working mom vent!!!

I am sort of in the same as you and all I can tell you is that it gets harder as they get older bc they interact with you so much more. After my second I am looking for a major career overhaul. I can't do this with two children.

ETA: And I am not referring to just the food part. I think its the whole picture. It doesn't bother me to give him a sandwich for dinner once in a while or pizza or take-out, its the whole picture of coming home late sometimes and dealing with bs in the corporate world. Yeah the $ is good but it means less and less to me.

Message edited 3/22/2011 11:02:52 AM.

Re: ugh...working mom vent!!!

I, like you, am militant about the food I give my kids. once I started working again, some nights it is tough to make them the nice meals I was making before. They are still eating organic, but I hve introduced more packaged stuff-applegate chicken nuggets, amys organic pizza, etc. I was beating myself up for it for a long time but then I realized overall they eat a good healthy, balanced diet. one or two meals a week will not harm them....as far as work, I'm sure people understand that you have a child and do not have the freedom to stay late

Re: ugh...working mom vent!!!

I had this same situation last year. DH was unemployed and my job was crazy busy. I was working 12-14hr days and going in every single Sat. I would leave the house at 6am and not get home until 9pm. I would spend an hour or so with Kaydyn and then we'd put her to bed.

I was getting OT, which we really needed since DH was out of work, but it took a major toll on me and our family. Luckily it only lasted for a couple of months and because it was so busy I was able to get DH a job in my office.

It's really hard balancing work and home life sometimes. I am sure you are doing the best that you can do and hopefully this is temporary and you can go back to the way things were.

Re: ugh...working mom vent!!!

It is so hard to balance out work and home life. I took work late some nights. I get in early too. I hate that I can't give DD breakfast and usually walk in just as DH is feeding her dinner. I do try to make things for her on the weekends or after she goes to bed, that keep in the Fridge and I can serve her over the week. I also try to send a lot of meals with her to the sitter.

And I hate that worry what ppl will think at work if I don't stay late or don't come in early, or G-d forbid take a day off in relation to DD. I feel your pain, but We just have to keep remembering that we are doing this to give them the best life we can.

Re: ugh...working mom vent!!!

thanks everyone.

today is much calmer. I should be able to leave on time.

I guess it's just hard b/c I want to do the best job I can all around...and get so angry at myself when I can't.

last night my MIL said that luce made her put his sneakers on when he woke up from his nap b/c he sensed it was my regular get home time and that meant he was going out to play.

Re: ugh...working mom vent!!!

Such a tough part of being a WM-balancing being a great mother and a great employee

ETA: When they told us we could have it all I don't think they told us how hard it would be.

Message edited 3/22/2011 12:33:47 PM.