UPDATE* Do you tell people about fertility treatments? (work)

I will need to change my work hours a few days a month and I'm not sure now much to tell my supervisor. I find she takes it better if I give her a little info so sometimes I tell her why I need to go to a Dr. appointment.

I told her what was going on with my laparoscopy and D&C and she told me to be careful because I will be very fertile after that. I told her that was ok. So, she said, well don't rush, you have time, etc. WTH? Who the helll is she to tell me what I have time for?

So, now I'm weary and don't want her to actually know I'm TTC. Although, honestly, she knows how old I am and when I got married so she has to expect I'll be pregnant at some point soon. I will need to leave a half hour early one day which isn't a problem. But then I will need to go back 1/2 or 2/3 days later. I wont know until the first appointment which days or when my appointment will be.

What to do, what to do? Leave it vague that it's a Dr. appointment and I'll need to change hours/extend lunch for 3 days straight?

UPDATE**
I emailed my supervisor when I needed to change my hours and got the reply...

-
Ok.
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That's it. I was so worried for nothing. Maybe she put two and two together from our conversation a few months ago.

Message edited 1/18/2011 1:15:27 PM.

Re: Do you tell people about fertility treatments?

I'm a teacher and my supervisor seems to treat the pregnant ladies and recent mommies very differently than the rest of us I haven't told her why I sometimes need to leave early/come in late/take off yet, just that I have a Dr. appointment that can only be at that time.
AND I've been scanning and digitally removing anything IF related (like "American Fertility Services" on the letterhead) from my Dr's notes!

Re: Do you tell people about fertility treatments?

i think it depends on your supervisor.

i ended up having to tell my principal something to explain why i was going to have to be late for work so often. i just came clean with her and emphasized how important it was to me to keep my business private. our secretaries are horrible, mean-spirited gossips. but with her, sympathy goes a long way, so she's been great--better than if it were mysterious.

other supervisors are mean to pregnant ladies and TTCers because they're afraid they're losing you (or your performance and dedication) so I think you have to go with your instincts.

Re: Do you tell people about fertility treatments?

I work in a school and was honest with my principal when we started fertility treatments a year ago. In return, he has been extremely supportive and allows me to come and go, no questions asked...... I know I happen to be VERY lucky! I think being upfront helped.

Re: Do you tell people about fertility treatments?

Posted by AllyCat

I'm a teacher and my supervisor seems to treat the pregnant ladies and recent mommies very differently than the rest of us I haven't told her why I sometimes need to leave early/come in late/take off yet, just that I have a Dr. appointment that can only be at that time.
AND I've been scanning and digitally removing anything IF related (like "American Fertility Services" on the letterhead) from my Dr's notes!

Re: Do you tell people about fertility treatments?

She is a very nice and mothering person adn she normally understands when someone needs off, but after that last comment, I'm weary. I'm worried b/c IF I do get pregnant next cycle, I'd be out at the end of the year straight through Christmas. Great for me, bad for them and scheduling. Another thing is sometimes when you ask to switch hours last minute they say to try to give more notice next time- which I can't in this case. It really doesn't matter if I switch my hours by a measley hour and tell them now, or 2 weeks ago, but they like to have some thing b!tch about.

Ugh, I think that I'll just say "dr. Apt" and wait till she asks more questions.

Thanks ladies!

Message edited 1/16/2011 8:03:28 AM.

Re: Do you tell people about fertility treatments?

you can always get a drs note that even says at times there will be short notice...dont know if it would mean squat to your boss but....


you wont have much notice at times..... sorry to say...some days i go and boom the next two days i have to take half off....other weeks i know whats going on..

this is a huge part of what sucks about if treatments.... not to scare you just to prepare you.


gl so much

Re: Do you tell people about fertility treatments?

I'm also a teacher and it's very difficult. When I was just cycling with timed intercourse, I didn't mention anything because it wasn't obvious. Once I started IVF, I told my principal. I felt like I had to because I didn't want him to think I was no longer dedicated to my job. I think it went a long way for me, but it depends on the person. I still hate asking for anything, but if I need to, I do. I just recently told my AP and I'm happy I did.

Balancing work and IF is a nightmare.

Re: Do you tell people about fertility treatments?

I am very lucky to have one boss that is female and only a few years older than me. When things were getting crazy with having to leave early, take off etc. I was also very emotional and could not keep it together at work always...I finally came clean with the female boss and told her everything I had been going through. She was very understanding because she saw how much I was going through and for such a long time without telling anyone. She told me to take as much time as I needed, whenever I needed and not worry about my job responsibilities as they would get done as they needed to. I know this is probably not the way for everyone, but she was very understanding when she saw how much it was affecting me and my life. She has offered me to sit and cry in her office on the days when I can't keep in together. I am very glad I told her. For the most part she has been able to keep my other (male) bosses at bay with their questions about what is going on.


Good luck with everything!!!!! xoxoxo

Re: Do you tell people about fertility treatments?

I work in a school, but not a public one, so it can be a bit easier to take off in my situation. My supervisor who actually grants me permission to take off does not know why I have so many doctor's appointments. He is very careful about protocol, and would NEVER ask what's going on, and would probably be uncomfortable knowing. He never gives me problems about taking off.

I have a more immediate supervisor who oversees the clinical staff in the preschool. She knows what's going on b/c she's nosy and basically said, "are you okay?" When I said yes, she said, "is it something good?" with a wink, implying that I was PG. At that point, I felt like I needed to tell her. She's a social worker, and very supportive.

At some point, I feel like I'm going to have to let the closest thing we have to an HR person know why I'm taking off so much, b/c she is the one who monitors our time off, and I don't want it to become an issue.

Re: Do you tell people about fertility treatments?

Yes, i told my boss when i started fertility treatments - she's been very understanding and knows that I do my best to get in to the office as soon as i can after my monitoring appts. There are some days i've had to take off, some days i've had to come in late.. but it's all ok.

i would rather be up front with her than lie about it and have them think i wasn't dedicated or something worse.

Re: Do you tell people about fertility treatments?

I think it depends a lot on your supervisor. My principal is great and I felt I could trust him so I shared what was going on. It made it easier for me. He is flexible and allows me to come in late when I need to. I've taken more sick days this year than I ever have and I think it's good that he knows why.

Re: Do you tell people about fertility treatments?

I never told my manager because I just didn't think it was necessary. The only thing I told him was that I had a medical issue and I needed some time off. He was understanding and did not mind since I would always make up my time. I have a pretty flexible schedule at work though so it works out well.

Re: UPDATE* Do you tell people about fertility treatments? (work)

bump for update

Re: UPDATE* Do you tell people about fertility treatments? (work)

I was in the same situation yesterday. I was having such anixiety about telling her, and she was so understanding about it. We worried for nothing.

Re: UPDATE* Do you tell people about fertility treatments? (work)

Glad you got a good response! I'm sure that will make the whole process a lot easier

Re: UPDATE* Do you tell people about fertility treatments? (work)