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UPDATE on my "writing off my mother" saga

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btrflygrl
me and baby #3!

Member since 5/05

12013 total posts

Name:
Shana

UPDATE on my "writing off my mother" saga

I just received a letter from her stating that "she is willing to settle things with an apology from me".

Since when does an individual apologize for their feelings??? Aren't they my own to have???

Some nerve! Then she goes on to say how she is my mother and will always love me no matter what I say or do!

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon She OBVIOUSLY doesn't get it!

Posted 8/30/05 6:42 PM
 
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monkeybride
My Everything

Member since 5/05

20541 total posts

Name:

Re: UPDATE on my "writing off my mother" saga

Mothers sometimes they just never get it. Chat Icon
I am always apologizing just to smooth things over, its so irritating.

Posted 8/30/05 7:15 PM
 

MissJones
I need a nap!

Member since 5/05

22136 total posts

Name:

Re: UPDATE on my "writing off my mother" saga

I don't know your situation right now but you said something that is striking a chord. I have been having some issues with my mom lately. I love her dearly and always will and think she is a wonderful person, but, and I emphasize the but, I have always kept in my feelings and frustrations. Until recently. And while we are talking, I am so frustrated that I feel like I can't have the feelings I have. That while disagreeing with my perspective would be fine, I'm getting that my feelings are totally off base and have no validity.

Again, I don't know your story and I can't fathom writing her off, but I've come to the conclusion that maybe sharing my feelings isn't such a welcome idea and to go back to keeping them to myself.

I wish you luck Shana. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Just don't compromise yourself.

Posted 8/31/05 1:16 AM
 

Jenn1621
<3

Member since 5/05

1728 total posts

Name:

Re: UPDATE on my "writing off my mother" saga

Why should you have to apolgize. Those words you wrote are how you feel and you shouldnt feel bad about saying them.

Posted 8/31/05 2:53 PM
 

dooodles
When you wish upon a star

Member since 5/05

11997 total posts

Name:
Because 2 people fell in love

Re: UPDATE on my "writing off my mother" saga

Did you say anything to her about not giving her an apology for "your" feelings?

Posted 8/31/05 2:55 PM
 

btrflygrl
me and baby #3!

Member since 5/05

12013 total posts

Name:
Shana

Re: UPDATE on my "writing off my mother" saga

Posted by dooodles

Did you say anything to her about not giving her an apology for "your" feelings?



I am going to write a letter in return stating that there is no way I'm apologizing for my feelings. They are mine and I am entitled to have them.

Posted 8/31/05 6:28 PM
 

pschica
LIF Toddler

Member since 5/05

424 total posts

Name:
D

Re: UPDATE on my "writing off my mother" saga

I have had a rocky relationship with my mom for quite some time now, ad wrote her off about a year ago after mucheartbreak. Amazingly, she has statred to come around a little and we are back on track. This summer she had knee replacemetn surgery and everything started to change - she is a different person now - happy, etc. Your mom might be going through some other stuff right now and thats why she is like this, give it time and lots of Chat Icons to you from someone who has been there lots of times, and is still "mid-way" there now!

Posted 9/10/05 1:59 PM
 

mrsmck
Be a big girl!

Member since 5/05

4898 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: UPDATE on my "writing off my mother" saga

How about in your letter you say that you're saddened by the situation and your hope for closeness again. Maybe tell her that while you won't apologize for your feelings maybe the 2 of you can "agree to disagree" on the issues between you?

Good luck and lots of Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/13/05 10:49 AM
 

eroxgirl
My Loves

Member since 5/05

15697 total posts

Name:
Rebecca

Re: UPDATE on my "writing off my mother" saga

I only know bits and pieces of your story, and although I haven't written my own mother off yet, the temptation is overwhelming. That apology nonesense is exactly the kind of thing my mother would pull. I wouldn't apologize for your feelings, you're entitled to them. I bet she'll come around without an apology anyway, it will just take longer. Besides, is she willing to apologize for you for whatever she has done?

Posted 9/14/05 12:37 PM
 
 

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