Vent-I hate this waiting

Since I don't know how long my cycle is going to be I can't figure out if I'm late and if my tests right now are accurate. My cycles range from about 33-47 days. But they seem to alternate each month-one month in the 40's, the next in the 30's. Last month was a 46 day cycle so following that pattern I would guess my cycle should be about 33-37 days. I've been testing for a week now and I keep getting negatives. I think I had implantation bleeding last Friday. Today is CD 38. I am going nuts here. It's all I can think about and I've now become a POAS addict.

Every morning I take my temperature and then I take my morning test. My temp is still up and down as it has been all cycle. But it does appear to be up more since Friday when I believe I had IB. I just don't know how much more of this I can take. Why can't I have a normal cycle so at least I would know at what point I'm late? My friend went for insemination last week and she's going to be able to start testing on Friday. She'll probably get a positive before me and we had our BD almost a month ago!! If I knew my cycle was 40 days than at least I would see an end in sight. But I think about how I might still be 10 days away from AF and it drives me insane.

I'm sorry I just needed to vent. Thank you for listening (reading). Please feel free to hijack this thread with your own vent.

Re: Vent-I hate this waiting