(vent): Tell me I'm not crazy!

I was at a Walmart and my hubby stepped away to look for something. I was reaching for my purell in her diaper bag and Im eye to eye with AJ in her carseat/snap-n-go

A 6yr-7yr old little girl comes rushing up to AJ's stroller. I hear her saying "ooooh baby, look pretty baby". No biggie, kids do that. it happens.

AJ's screen is pulled down and she's still bundled up and zippered up in her puedo bundle me thingy.

Instead of just looking in or stopping at the invisible barrier that most can feel around a baby..

this girl REACHES IN and GRABS my baby's face! Like literally half her face is in this girls hand!



I totally flipped out and was automatically saying "no, No, NOOOO!" when she was reaching in. I was really tempted to grab her but she's not my child and I was sorta confused and angry all at the same time.

I could feel myself get hot in anger/embarassement.

Her mother quickly came over and said sorry. I don't know who was more shocked, me for being stern with another person's child (i don't usually do that) or her for her daughter's actions. You could TELL she knew it was bad.

Jim came running back cause apparently I was loud and grim in my tone. He was shocked as I would that it happened so fast!

I was speechless. I mean that's the first time that's ever happened. Most kids are a little more cautious and try to sneak a peek or touch. This was made it look like it was her god-given right!

I felt like my baby was filthy after that. I couldn't get her home fast enough.

I lose my baby to Day Care on Monday and I'm super duper over protective right now.

Someone tell me I am not crazy for being upset

Re: (vent): Tell me I'm not crazy!

I think if it was an adult who did that I would be thrown off - but I don't think all kids know not to touch little babies especially if they aren't around them.

I would have done the same thing saying "No, you don't touch the baby" but that's all really. Oh and I would have probably given him a bath the minute we got home.

Re: (vent): Tell me I'm not crazy!

I don't blame you for feeling upset. You are probably mostly upset that it happened so fast that you could not stop it. I too would feel the same way. I don't have other children yet and we don't really have any family members with small kids, so I would be upset if little unknown (possibly very germy) hands grabbed my baby's face too.

You have no reason to feel bad for being stern about protecting your baby. I would have done the same as well.

Message edited 11/30/2008 1:56:06 AM.

Re: (vent): Tell me I'm not crazy!

I would have been upset too, even though the little kid didn't know any better. I def would have wiped her face right away with a wipe, but I don't think I would run home to give DC a bath. I don't like other kids touching my DC, feet or tummy only!

Re: (vent): Tell me I'm not crazy!

I would have been a little agitated - you are certainly not crazy. I don't know how I would have reacted to be honest... sometimes I react before I have a chance to really think when it comes to my littles!

But kids are super unpredictable.. based on your description of her words and actions she sounds like she was younger than 6 or 7. Little kids have really poor impulse control and have little or no sense of boundaries most of the time. Her mother was probably insanely embarrassed as well. And I doubt she was upset with you so much as she was upset with herself.

Anyway - you aren't crazy. It's a little upsetting to see any strange hand grabbing your baby, especially a kid you don't know!

ETA: With regard to your baby being 'filthy' - I hope you are prepared for daycare. There are a lot of different kids there... and the baby will be exposed to all sorts of stuff.

Message edited 11/30/2008 8:40:41 AM.

Re: (vent): Tell me I'm not crazy!

I honestly think you are overreacting.

This was a child, and it sounds like a small one (6/7 is little still) and she probably didn't realize what she was supposed to do or not do. Her mother apologized for it and told her it was wrong. That is very important, there are a lot of parents out there who would have just ignored it or gotten nasty with you.

It is a big, bad world out there. I understand that you want to protect your DC, but at the same time, in all honesty, this is not something that would hurt her.

Re: (vent): Tell me I'm not crazy!

Posted by KateDevine

I honestly think you are overreacting.

This was a child, and it sounds like a small one (6/7 is little still) and she probably didn't realize what she was supposed to do or not do. Her mother apologized for it and told her it was wrong. That is very important, there are a lot of parents out there who would have just ignored it or gotten nasty with you.

It is a big, bad world out there. I understand that you want to protect your DC, but at the same time, in all honesty, this is not something that would hurt her.

Re: (vent): Tell me I'm not crazy!

I think we all understand the mother bear instinct. After Joseph was finally through with RSV & a girl tried to hold his face, I grabbed her arm & said pretty calmly for the circumstances, "The baby just got over being sick."..then I realized I was gripping her arm a little too tight.

So I'll say you're not crazy.

I do think the "fithy" comment is a little over the top - unless the other child was completely covered in dirt.

As for the mom, I'm sure most moms would be more concerned that their child did something to hurt the baby & relieved she was ok.

Don't give it a second thought.

Re: (vent): Tell me I'm not crazy!

These things are going to happen but I'm sure the first time it does it can be extremely bothersome. I don't think you're crazy, after all she grabbed at your DD's face. But I agree with PP, you need to roll with it especially since she's going to be in daycare.

Re: (vent): Tell me I'm not crazy!

Posted by nrthshgrl

I grabbed her arm & said pretty calmly for the circumstances, "The baby just got over being sick."..then I realized I was gripping her arm a little too tight.

QUOTE]

Re: (vent): Tell me I'm not crazy!

Honestly I think all 6 or seven yr old children should know by now not to touch a baby. That being said, the child mayhhave had special needs.

I think you acted appropriately. I am glad the other mother apologized. We are all protective of our children. In these circumstances I always try to remind myself that my child will also make mistakes, just as this child did.

Re: (vent): Tell me I'm not crazy!

I don't think you are overreacting at all! I would have felt the same way!
In fact, I don't know if I would have had the restraint not to stop the child from touching my baby. I probably would have been too shocked as well to do anything quick enough but I would have been mad at myself for not blocking the way or saying "Don't touch!" I guess these things happen.

Message edited 11/30/2008 2:04:39 PM.

Re: (vent): Tell me I'm not crazy!

honestly, you overreacted IMHO

Re: (vent): Tell me I'm not crazy!

Oh that would really upset me! Not at all crazy and you sound like you reacted appropriately

Re: (vent): Tell me I'm not crazy!

u did not overreact at all.....personally a 6/7yr old should have been taught not to touch someone elses "things" aka the stroller and the baby inside.....if u would have said the child were younger i would change my answer....a child of that age should also know not to talk to strangers both reasons would have made me react like u and personally i would have probably taken her hand out of the stroller and off my babys face.....there are boundaries of personal space and that child was obviously not taught that yet

Message edited 11/30/2008 4:10:24 PM.

Re: (vent): Tell me I'm not crazy!

Posted by mikeswife06

These things are going to happen but I'm sure the first time it does it can be extremely bothersome. I don't think you're crazy, after all she grabbed at your DD's face. But I agree with PP, you need to roll with it especially since she's going to be in daycare.

Re: (vent): Tell me I'm not crazy!

I would have freaked. I have a thing about personal space for me, never mind for my kid. Also since it was the first time you experienced it, the shock factor was still there. As you get it more & more (especially with daycare), your shock will probably diminish. At least in daycare there will not be such an age difference as well.

Re: (vent): Tell me I'm not crazy!

i don't think you overreacted. DH DS (4 months) and I were at a sushi/japanese restaurant one evening. DS was sleeping in stroller, his paci fell out, the waitsress reaches in to his stroller puts the paci back into his mouth and pinches his cheek. this was all done in 3 seconds, i was very angry, and told her sternly not to touch my child. I don't know where her hands have been. so i know exactly how you feel.