Very stressful and sad time in my life - would you keep ttc or hold off?

As some of you may remember from my previous posts, I've been struggling with DH and if he was serious about TTC or not for the past few months. Well, I finally had the nerve to sit him down last month and ask him for a straight answer and our talk was very positive. We agreed that this month we would ttc for real. he was very excited and has asked me a few times since our talk when I would be ovulating.

Two weeks ago, my family got some devastating news. My father was diagnosed was liver cancer. The doctor who made the initial diagnosis gave him 6 months to live. Needless to say. this past 2 weeks have been so emotionally exhausting and trying on my whole family. we have been running around trying to work through his insurance and get him the best treatment we can and a second opinion. Not a day goes by that I don't spend hours breaking down and crying. I'm numb and don't even feel like I'm living in this world right now with all the pain in my heart. I'm on the verge of tears right now.

I'm not sure I have the heart to ttc in this emotional state. I feel like my mind is not clear and I have always pictured getting pregnant as the most beautiful experience in my life. My family wants me to keep ttc and so does DH, but I just don't know. In some ways I feel as if we got a BFP, it would be something positive for my family to focus on during such a trying time, but I can't see how I could handle the stress of what we are dealing with right now and ttc.

my heart is not in it anymore . . . I wanted a baby so badly before this and I still do but I just don't know if I can handle such opposing feelings and major events in my life at one time. not really looking for advice just needing to talk

Re: Very stressful and sad time in my life - would you keep ttc or hold off?

Well first I think that you should focus on your father right now. Right now is a very difficult time for you so if you need to talk, please let us know.

Re: Very stressful and sad time in my life - would you keep ttc or hold off?

Honestly, that's your decision and DH's. If he wants to keep trying and you want to wait then wait it out until you're ready. I understand that there is so much going on right now so I personally think that waiting a few months for you to get your bearings is a good idea. But, again, totally your decision. I can completely understand that such devestating news would make you want to put TTC on hold. Both are huge changes.

I'm so sorry about your father.

Re: Very stressful and sad time in my life - would you keep ttc or hold off?

Under the circumstances I think that I might hold off a couple months. You are going thru a very stressful and emotional time and if you get pregnant your hormones and emotions will be even more out of whack. While it will be something positive for your family when you get pregnant, it will be a good thing now, or in 3 months from now. Give yourself some time to adjust to this news and to your current situation before you throw even more change into the mix.

You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Re: Very stressful and sad time in my life - would you keep ttc or hold off?

I am so sorry

Maybe wait awhile for everything to sink in but then I would def keep trying. I think a PG would be some great news that would make everyone sooo excited.

And I would want my Dad to see my child

Message edited 6/18/2007 11:14:11 AM.

Re: Very stressful and sad time in my life - would you keep ttc or hold off?

Message edited 1/30/2009 9:44:35 AM.

Re: Very stressful and sad time in my life - would you keep ttc or hold off?

that is definately a decision only you and dh can make.
im going to go against the other posts here and say that i personally would not wait to start ttc. in my own case we started ttc in december and i have had 2 miscarriages since then. while is is physically draining being pregnant, our family was so excited for us both times they found out i was pregnant, our parents especially. Also, I know we had a friend of the family who was diagnosed from the doctors also with " 6 months to live" and he lived 4 1/2 years. its a tough decision to make

Re: Very stressful and sad time in my life - would you keep ttc or hold off?

Thank you all for your responses. I really appreciate the support. I think we are just going to play it by ear and see what happens in the next couple of months.

Re: Very stressful and sad time in my life - would you keep ttc or hold off?

I would hold off on TTC unless there is some medical reason you have to get PG now. The stress of what is happening with your dad would not be good for you to go through while TTC or getting PG. There is a lot of research on how high levels of a mother's stress during PG negatively impact babies.

Re: Very stressful and sad time in my life - would you keep ttc or hold off?

I'm so sorry.

I may have to disagree with some of the posters above as well. Though we haven't tried TTC - I don't know if I could put off starting. Its a very personal choice ~ and I think if you are comfortable with your decision, then its the right one.

Re: Very stressful and sad time in my life - would you keep ttc or hold off?

I'm so sorry!!! I would take some time before you ttc. It's not going to be the best time to start the emotional rollercoaster you will be on. Being streesed out, scared, and all the other things you feel will be multiplied x 100. Just take sometime and regroup. Many and

Re: Very stressful and sad time in my life - would you keep ttc or hold off?

Personally, I would just stop having protected sex - if it happens it's meant to be.
With all you're going through, I know I wouldn't have the heart to put the "effort" into it, but I would probably just see what happens and revisit seriously TTC in a few months.