Was I wrong (DH issue)

DH and I were getting Tyler ready for bed last night. We had just finished giving him his little massage and DH was getting him changed and swaddled for bed. I was in the Living room getting ready to feed DS. Tyler is crying because he just fights going to sleep sometimes. All of the sudden I see DH crossing the Living room without Tyler. I ask him where he put Tyler, I get up to look and see DS is lying unattended on the changing table!!! I ask DH in not the nicest tone why he would leave our child unattended on the table. He said he needed the swaddler which was in the bedroom. I replied that I didn't understand how he thought it was okay to leave DS alone there. Especially considering that he had just rolled over for the first time earlier that day. He then continues to defend his actions and gets ****** at me for talking to him like he's a child!! I aploogized for my tone, but not for being upset that he put our child in a potetially dangerous position. He never apologized!!!! I'm still so mad, but now I am wondering if I was in the wrong.

Re: Was I wrong (DH issue)

I would of done the say thing. Children move so fast that one second he moved and he could of rolled.

Re: Was I wrong (DH issue)

You are not wrong! turning around for a second is unsafe, even if he had never rolled over, he could have figured it out at that time or scooted himself off of it.

You apologized for your tone, which was good of you, but you shouldn't apologize for reacting that way and you need to let him know never to do that again.

Re: Was I wrong (DH issue)

i would have said something to him, but i have been guilty of the same crime too. I wouldn't be upset though or waiting for an apology from him, i'd let it go.

ETA: Everyone makes mistakes as a parent as long as we learn from them and try not to do them again.

Message edited 8/24/2007 11:37:30 AM.

Re: Was I wrong (DH issue)

Re: Was I wrong (DH issue)

I commend you actually for being so nice about it! You said it nicely, apologized for your tone and was overall calm about it. I would have went NUTS and never apologized no matter how nasty I was!

You definately had a reason to be upset but you are definately a good wife as well as a mother! Let him try living with me for a day, he will learn to appreciate how calm you are!!! HAHA

Re: Was I wrong (DH issue)

I would definitely be upset- and not nearly as calm as you! You are most definitely not wrong! DH has to learn that at no time should DS be left unattended on a changing table.

Many DH just don't see all the potential hazards and dangers that we see. I noticed that before DD came just between the two of us (DH never worries about getting mugged, beign a victim of a crime, car accident, etc...) But especially with DD, he is more lax about this kinds of things than I am. And I am a pretty laid back mom.

Re: Was I wrong (DH issue)

I don't think you were wrong. My DH still does this all the time, and I flip out every time. He just tells me to relax -- that the sides of the changing table pad are higher than the middle, so she can't go anywhere!! They truly don't see what we see. If your DH has agreed not to leave DS along again, you're ahead of the game. In order for me to keep Marron safe, I have to always make sure DH has everything he needs handy so that he doesn't have to go get anything.

ETA: not to make DH sound SO bad, I don't think he's ever left the room, but he goes to the closet, to the dresser, etc.

Message edited 8/26/2007 4:27:57 AM.

Re: Was I wrong (DH issue)

no..I would be irate.
U should point out how they have seatbelts on the pads..and if that does not work tell him how my Highschool social studies teacher did the same thing the baby rolled off and passed away.
Who wants that on their head the rest of their lives?
he was probably embarrassed and thats why he got mad.

Re: Was I wrong (DH issue)

No, you weren't wrong at all. I would not have been happy if my DH did that either. It sounds like you got your point across though. Hopefully he learned never to do that again. I'd let it go at this point.

Re: Was I wrong (DH issue)

Re: Was I wrong (DH issue)

You are NOT wrong! I probably would of hit my DH over the head with something if I saw he left my baby on a changing table alone!

You had everyright to be upset and yell. I have heard many stories of babies falling off those changing tables.

Re: Was I wrong (DH issue)

Re: Was I wrong (DH issue)

You are not wrong. I definitley would have said something.

Re: Was I wrong (DH issue)

You are completely right that Tyler should not have been left alone on the changing table. Every single table or mat has a tag indicating not the leave the baby alone.

I wouldn't still be angry about it though. He did it. It was a completely bonehead move & he knows it.

Re: Was I wrong (DH issue)

I would be guilty of the same thing as you. A baby should NEVER be left unattended! Knowing me I would have freaked out on DH and after calming down sat down, apologized and had a discussion with him on the dangers of leaving the baby. Does the few seconds it takes to secure the baby, ask you to get what he needed or just take the baby with him compare to what could happen just because the sides of the changing pad are higher? I hope he realizes that now

Message edited 8/26/2007 12:41:08 PM.

Re: Was I wrong (DH issue)

I would have punched him! My DH left our DD on the bed unattended and I almost killed him. I think you were wonderful about it.