Was your first child extremely jealous when the second child was born? How bad was the sibling rivalry?

DS is pretty needy with attention. He likes BOTH parents or my mom AND me to be by his side. He wants us both to watch and play with him. One parent/caregiver isn't enough if we are both home. I'm concerned that DS will be very upset when we split attention between him and his baby brother when he arrives.

How bad was the jealousy when your second child was born?

DS and DS#2 will be exactly 2 years apart.

Re: Was your first child extremely jealous when the second child was born? How bad was the sibling rivalry?

DS was 28 mos when DD was born.

It was pretty rough for the first month and a half.

I had a c-section so I couldn't pick DS up. I think this was the worst part. He saw me holding DD all the time and feeding her and could not understand why I wasn't holding him.

He was acting out, and regressing. he was almost fully potty trained, but went back to pooping and peeing in his diaper. And he completely stopped napping altogether.

But, after less then 2 months he was fine and back to his normal self. he LOVES her to pieces, calls her "my baby" and always wants to hold her/hug her/kiss her and make her laugh.

He realized that all she does is sleep all day and sit in her bouncy.

I will say, though, I had it easy compared to most people for many reasons:

1. I still had my nanny come 2x/week while I was on maternity leave, so on those days, I made sure to give DS tons of one on one time.

2. The other 3 days my mom took him out for a few hours for special time with her.

3. My DD is a super easy, happy, laid back baby that I could just strap into the bjorn and take anywhere with me, so even with the 2 of them, I still took DS to the playground or wherever.

I think it is inevitable that it will take a month or 2 for your first child to adjust, but honestly, it's like he doesn't even remember that there was a time when she wasn't around and DD is only 3 1/2 mos now.

The best advice everyone gave me is to make sure to pay attention to the older child. The newborn will not remember, but the older one will.

Re: Was your first child extremely jealous when the second child was born? How bad was the sibling rivalry?

My son was 27 months when we brought Tyler home. In 13 months there hasn't been one moment of jealousy (and we thought that he would be completely jealous!)

Re: Was your first child extremely jealous when the second child was born? How bad was the sibling rivalry?

19 months apart and nothing notable.

Re: Was your first child extremely jealous when the second child was born? How bad was the sibling rivalry?

mine are 23 months apart. Jealously was never an issue.

now at 2.5 & 4.5, they fight sometimes (over toys, who's bothering who, etc) but they're also best friends.

Re: Was your first child extremely jealous when the second child was born? How bad was the sibling rivalry?

Mine are 25 months apart, and nothing really significant. He will push the swing and try to climb in it, and tell me to put the baby down sometimes, and he really doesn't want to "hold" him or be close to him (although he loves to give him kisses) but other than that he is a pretty awesome big brother so far

Re: Was your first child extremely jealous when the second child was born? How bad was the sibling rivalry?

Posted by SweetCaroline

19 months apart and nothing notable.

Re: Was your first child extremely jealous when the second child was born? How bad was the sibling rivalry?

My DD and DS are 18 months apart.

While DD is fairly independent, she is also completley up my butt during her waking hours. I was so terrified that she was going to be a raging jealous monster. Especially not understanding what a new baby in the house meant. Instead, from the second she met her brother when he was 1 day old, and even now 3 months later, she is truly in love with him. She dotes on him, hugs him, kisses him and usually asks for him first thing in the morning.

Not to say there are not jealous moments, but they are few and far between. We'll see if this lasts once he is mobile and into her stuff.

Re: Was your first child extremely jealous when the second child was born? How bad was the sibling rivalry?

For us, DS (age 3 when DD was born) was all love and kisses to the baby for the first 6 1/2 months. He seemed to view her like a little doll to kiss and dote on.

Then she started crawling and got into his stuff. It was downhill for a long time after that!

Now he's a few months shy of 5, and she's 22 months. He's much more tolerant and patient with DD, and now they play with each other and seem to enjoy each other much more.

Re: Was your first child extremely jealous when the second child was born? How bad was the sibling rivalry?

Mine are 29mths apart and there has been no jealousy..dd is infatuated with her little ds so far and loves to help...hoping it will continue for a long time to come!

Re: Was your first child extremely jealous when the second child was born? How bad was the sibling rivalry?

22 months apart.

Slight jealousy but not too bad. He did start acting out but looking back now, it was the age more than the jealousy.

Re: Was your first child extremely jealous when the second child was born? How bad was the sibling rivalry?

DS was 2 1/2 when the twins were born. Initially he had no jealousy b/c he got a lot of attention. As time went on there were some moments of jealousy.....but not to bad. And in all fairness to him, the twins get a lot of attention....when we are out people always stop to talk to them, ask if they are twins etc.

All in all, the transition was easy though!