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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: Wedding gift question
Posted by sami
Posted by MrsMerlot
Yes, if it was my mother...I would tell her what they gave us.
Parent's are old-school like that...
I agree....
Same here. My mom asked for a list so she would know how generous she should be.
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Posted 3/2/08 7:27 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift question
Posted by MrsMerlot
Yes, if it was my mother...I would tell her what they gave us.
Parent's are old-school like that...
ITA
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| Posted 3/2/08 7:32 AM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Wedding gift question
She's your MOTHER..... she's not asking to be gossipy, she's asking so she'll be sure to be as generous.
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| Posted 3/2/08 8:26 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Wedding gift question
Posted by saraH
Posted by BabySammie
If shes going to go by how much you got, then she should also consider how long ago your wedding was. If it was 10 yrs ago, she should give more. Weddings are more exspensive now.
Let's say the weddings are within 2 years of one another. Inflation doesn't really pay a huge part. PLus, their hall is twice as much as your hall was. So even if you gave the same amount as they gave it doesn't "cover the plate."
that's crap anyway. It's not the guests job to pay for the catering. You give what you can afford.
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| Posted 3/2/08 8:30 AM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Wedding gift question
Posted by Porrruss
She's your MOTHER..... she's not asking to be gossipy, she's asking so she'll be sure to be as generous.
It's my MIL, not my mom. And I know she's not looking just to be nosey. I just think that what we got should have nothing to do with that she gives.
And my MOTHER, has never asked me what I got from who. And she never would.
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| Posted 3/2/08 8:32 AM |
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ctrain1124
Our Gang!
Member since 8/07 3190 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Wedding gift question
Posted by kbeana24
yes, so she can give a comparable amount
I agree
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| Posted 3/2/08 8:38 AM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Wedding gift question
My mother wouldn't dare ask us. She gives gifts based on what she can afford to give. She never gives gifts based on what was give to anyone else. She is 76 years old and knows her boundaries when it comes to the privacy of her children's lives. As for my IL's, I dont think they would ask either. If they did, we wouldn't tell. DH knows I hate that kind of thing. I cannot imagine a family opening gifts and comparing or commenting that gifts weren't equal.
Personally, I find it strange that an adult needs to check and give a gift comparable to what was given to someone else. IMO, you give whats appropriate for the occasion based on what you can afford. The only time I ever asked what to give as a gift was for Christenings as I have been to very few and I do not know what is customary.
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| Posted 3/2/08 8:55 AM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Wedding gift question
Posted by Goldi0218
My mother wouldn't dare ask us. She gives gifts based on what she can afford to give. She never gives gifts based on what was give to anyone else. She is 76 years old and knows her boundaries when it comes to the privacy of her children's lives. As for my IL's, I dont think they would ask either. If they did, we wouldn't tell. DH knows I hate that kind of thing. I cannot imagine a family opening gifts and comparing or commenting that gifts weren't equal.
Personally, I find it strange that an adult needs to check and give a gift comparable to what was given to someone else. IMO, you give whats appropriate for the occasion based on what you can afford. The only time I ever asked what to give as a gift was for Christenings as I have been to very few and I do not know what is customary.
I completley agree. I see no reason for this at all.
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| Posted 3/2/08 9:29 AM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift question
Yes, I would tell her. She's my mother.
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| Posted 3/2/08 9:46 AM |
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smiles
Life is good!
Member since 2/06 1450 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Wedding gift question
I would tell her. It would not phase me at all. I can understand her wanting to give the same amount. It should not be this way but it definitely is.
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| Posted 3/2/08 9:52 AM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Wedding gift question
Posted by saraH
Posted by Porrruss
She's your MOTHER..... she's not asking to be gossipy, she's asking so she'll be sure to be as generous.
It's my MIL, not my mom. And I know she's not looking just to be nosey. I just think that what we got should have nothing to do with that she gives.
And my MOTHER, has never asked me what I got from who. And she never would.
The way you wrote your post, it's assumed you were talking about your mother.
And yes, I'd have DH tell his mother.
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| Posted 3/2/08 9:59 AM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Wedding gift question
[nm
Message edited 3/2/2008 10:17:00 AM.
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| Posted 3/2/08 10:16 AM |
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mamallama
<3 <3 <3
Member since 9/07 5035 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift question
My IL's followed us back the night of the wedding bc they had stuff in their car from the hall. We were leaving in 3 hours for our HM, so all we wanted to do was count our money and go. They sat in our liiving room and WATCHED me opening the envelopes and kept asking me who it was from and how much. Anyone else would have taken a hint and left, and I kept giving them the cold shoulder...but nothing. DH passed out on the couch and didn't really do much about the situation. It should have been a private time for just me and hiim! So basically they know what everyone gave us!! 
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| Posted 3/2/08 10:16 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Wedding gift question
Posted by FelAndJon
DH and I divulge all gift amounts to both sides (wedding, baby, first birthday, etc). It is as much about not wanting to give too much as too little. We don't mind.
exactly the same for us - we want to be AS generous as they were to us.
however, if they gave us less than we would normally give, we still give our usual amount - we don't give less just because "they" did.
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| Posted 3/2/08 10:34 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Wedding gift question
Posted by saraH
Posted by Goldi0218
My mother wouldn't dare ask us. She gives gifts based on what she can afford to give. She never gives gifts based on what was give to anyone else. She is 76 years old and knows her boundaries when it comes to the privacy of her children's lives. As for my IL's, I dont think they would ask either. If they did, we wouldn't tell. DH knows I hate that kind of thing. I cannot imagine a family opening gifts and comparing or commenting that gifts weren't equal.
Personally, I find it strange that an adult needs to check and give a gift comparable to what was given to someone else. IMO, you give whats appropriate for the occasion based on what you can afford. The only time I ever asked what to give as a gift was for Christenings as I have been to very few and I do not know what is customary.
I completley agree. I see no reason for this at all.
so you were just looking for someone to agree with you? 
next time i'll keep that in mind before replying.
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| Posted 3/2/08 10:36 AM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: Wedding gift question
Maybe she thinks that she might be wanting to give something that is too little - and she doesn't want to look 'cheap'
If my mother or my MIL ask - I will tell, I have nothing to hide.
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| Posted 3/2/08 10:39 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift question
my Mom would not ask me that, at least I don't think she would. but I would absolutely tell her if she did ask.
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| Posted 3/2/08 10:52 AM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: Wedding gift question
yes i always tell my mom and IL's what someone gave me. most of the time they want to make sure they're giving at least that same amount--it's not as if they are trying to match it.
i see nothing wrong with it
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| Posted 3/2/08 10:54 AM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Wedding gift question
I gave both sides the list. In fact my in laws had a wedding to attend the weekend after ours at a similar place as ours was held. I specifically told my DH to hand my inlaws the card so they could peek inside and see what was given so they would be able to give something similar. We did not open our wedding presents until after our two week HM. I had no problem telling them.
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| Posted 3/2/08 11:00 AM |
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Heather617
My Babies
Member since 5/05 2566 total posts
Name:
Heather
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Re: Wedding gift question
I would tell my mom.
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| Posted 3/2/08 11:05 AM |
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Re: Wedding gift question
My mom would already know.
My mom and dad opened all of the wedding card with us, just like my grandparents did with them
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| Posted 3/2/08 11:10 AM |
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DirtyBlonde
*****
Member since 11/07 7344 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift question
Posted by MrsMerlot
Yes, if it was my mother...I would tell her what they gave us.
Parent's are old-school like that...
Mine, too.
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| Posted 3/2/08 11:58 AM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Wedding gift question
what? seriously, what is this supposted to mean? Somebody feels the same way I do, so that makes me what.....
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| Posted 3/2/08 2:11 PM |
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Re: Wedding gift question
If it makes you uncomfortable then don't. Here's the thing it doesn't matter how much money your hall was vs hers. You give what you can and it's not your job, or your mothers, to "cover your plate". It's a wedding, and you should NEVER feel like you should give a certain amount becasue of how much the hall cost, the flowers, or the decor. JMHO
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| Posted 3/2/08 2:19 PM |
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lovemy2boys
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 3915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift question
Posted by kbeana24
yes, so she can give a comparable amount
yep, I agree! would you want your mom to give twice what they gave you? just an example
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| Posted 3/2/08 2:30 PM |
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