Wedding Quasi-Related: "and" guest

If you were invited to a wedding and it did not include your SO - would you go?

Furthermore, you called the couple and asked if there was a mistake, and they responded with "well, we really don't know your SO."

ETA: The couple (or person) invited is not married.

Message edited 5/17/2007 12:28:24 PM.

Re: Wedding Quasi-Related: "and" guest

Was the invite issuer at your wedding?

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No way. If I go, SO goes.

Message edited 5/17/2007 2:18:49 PM.

Re: Wedding Quasi-Related: "and" guest

Probably not. If the person was not close enough to me to even consider inviting my SO when they knew I had one, then I wouldn't feel so obligated to go to the wedding.


ETA -- if the SO is my husband, then no I wouldn't go. My original answer was based on the guest not being married.

Message edited 5/17/2007 12:29:22 PM.

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I think it depends who was getting married and how long I've been dating my S.O.

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If i was just casually dating someone and I was invited to a wedding without a guest, I would go and not be offended.

However, if i was in a committed relationship and i was invited to a wedding without a guest, I would not attend.

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if the bride and groom know that i have a SO (married or un-married) i would NOT go.

jmho

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I wouldn't go.

This happened when DH and I were just dating. He got an invite to a wedding for just him and no guest. He didn't feel comfortable going alone and thought it was rude anyway. He found out that the couple getting married were trying to cut costs wherever they could. They didn't even take into account that some people don't feel comfortable going to weddings/any party alone, even if it's with a friend. Supposidly a lot of people that were dating people that weren't invited just didn't go to the wedding. I thought it was so cheap. Who cares if you know the person. There were people at my wedding I didn't know, but the more the merrier.

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if myself or dh as invited to a weding prior to us getting married, and one of us was invited w/o the other, we would not go. i think its rude to not acknowledge that the person your inviting is in a commited relationship. adn who cared if they don't really know him/her? isn't that the whole point of the "and guest" thing?

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I am a firm believer in inviting all adult guests to a wedding with a guest. However, I know that many people do not share my view and for various reasons (often economic or because the guest list is out of control) do not invite everyone with a guest.

I think problems arise when people have significant others but are not married. I know some couples who only invited people with guests if their relationship was "serious" or they had been dating for X number of years. However, you can't really judge how "serious" someone else's relationship is.

I also think that it is just not appropriate to invite a 30 year old with out a guest. To me, that is different from inviting an 18 year old without a guest.

Sorry to digress, but back to your original question, I would be upset if I or DH (prior to being married) were invited to a wedding without a guest. But it would really depend on the situation as to whether I would go with or without him. For example, if it was a situation where because of a large family they only invited married and engaged couples with a date and I had a lot of friends to go with, I would probably go without DH.

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I wouldn't be offended IF I had only been with my SO for a short amount of time and the bride & groom had never met him. BUT if they'd met my SO and didn't invite him, then I might be offended.

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I probably wouldn't go. I think it's strange not to invite someone's SO, even if you don't know them.

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I am surprise that after asking the bride and groom, they still did not extend an invite to the SO! At our wedding, DH and I invited a few of his friends sans guest. One of his friends who he had not spoken to in awhile called and said that he has had a SO for over a year that would love to visit NY and attend the wedding. We immediately extended an invite! To each their own, I guess.

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I would not go to a wedding without DH being invited.

I would go when we had just started dating.

I honestly did not invite any single person to my wedding without a guests. I budgeted it and invited accordingly. I don't think it's fair to invite people without a guest.

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No I wouldn't go.

Just because I'm not married and you don't know my SO, I'm STILL 30 years old and should be given the option of bringing someone. I think it's just a common curtosey. BUT, I also wouldn't bring a stranger to a wedding, just to bring someone.
I think couples fear that and don't like to give guests that option. I think it's rude.

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I would not go to a wedding if my husband was not invited-esp. if they knew I was married and didn't invite SO because they don't know him! Give me a break it's rude IMO

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I might go without my SO, depending on who was getting married (close family, close friend, etc) and I would not be offended, especially if I had not been dating my SO for very long and the couple did not know my SO.

When I started dating my DH, I was a BM in my cousin's wedding. She did not invite my DH (then BF) and neither he or I expected her to, even though we had been dating for almost 1 year at that point. She didn't know him.

I know I'm in the minority but IMO, the couple getting married is spending alot of money per person and I can completely understand if they want/need to limit it to people they know well or are close to. I think the "and guest" courtesy is just that - a courtesy, not a requirement.

ETA: I also would not put the bride and groom on the spot by calling them and asking them if there was a mistake.

Message edited 5/17/2007 1:20:19 PM.

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Depends - had I only been dating this person a brief time I would understand and go without them. However, if we had been dating for awhile (at least 6-9 months) then I would think it was kinda rude. But I still might go depending on my relationship with the bride & groom. And if I knew other guests attending. Although if we were close, why wouldn't they know my SO? Hmm....

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This happend to me for a co-worker's wedding, when I had been dating DH a little over a year.

I was little offended b/c other co-worker's SO's were invited, but so was my was co/worker friend in the same situation, so we went together.

It was a little awkward when our boss asked where my BF was.

I just laughed, and said that my GF was my date.

By the time I got married, the co-worker had left & we weren't in touch.
so I didn't invite himt o my weddign.


ETA- I understand you don't have to invite "and Guest", but if you know someone has a SO, even if you only met them once or twice, they should be invited.

Message edited 5/17/2007 1:27:42 PM.

Re: Wedding Quasi-Related: "and" guest

If I was with the person for a long time, I'd be offended. If I wasn't, then possibly not.

But, I invited everyone with a guest just to be safe.