Melbernai
I am a lucky Momma!
Member since 7/05 15652 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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We're BOTH home! (longxpost)
Hi Everyone!
Man, it feels so good to post!!!
Emily and I were BOTH discharged from the hospital today. I can't even tell you what an experience it has been and how AMAZING and wonderful it was today to finally be able to hold my little girl whenever I wanted and to take her home with me. 
It was quite an ordeal. It is crazy how it all turned out because the week before she was born I was starting to worry SO much that something would be wrong with her. She was born and everything seemed fine, they told me her apgars were 9 and so I thought it was all okay. But when the neonatologist came in and said they needed to speak with me and my husband, while I was still in recovery, my heart just sank. There was one other woman whose son was born a day after mine, and he has spent the whole time in the NICU as well and wasn't able to go home today, and I just said to her ... when you hear news like that, it's just so hard and something I feel like noone can ever understand unless you go through it.
Basically the first night they realized that she was having respetory distress. She was breathing very rapidly and heavily. She was put under the oxygen hood and put into NICU or "special care." She spent 24 hours in the oxygen and finally her breathing had gotten better, and at that time they told us that there were more problems. They tested her Bilirubin levels which are the levels for Jaundice and they weren't SUPER high, they were 5 on the first day, but that it was high for someoneo nly 24 years old and she needed to recieve phototherapy treatment, which is where she was under special blue lamps in the incubator and had to wear a mask over her eyes to avoid damaging them from the lights. They told us that ifshe didn't respond to the blue lights that she'd need to go to north shore LIJ for a complete blood transfusion and that it was risky and was a 3-hour procedure.
All this happened before I ever even got to hold her, try to feed her, or even see her up close. I saw her while my husband held her for a few minutes in the operating room but I couldn't hold her at first because of the c-section, and then they told me all this after spending myfirst night in a room with another mother who was "rooming in" with her baby and I was up all night listening to the other baby cry and the other baby feed, and it was just so hard. I wanted to just see her and of course everyone in the world kept coming up to visit us, and then was asking us a million questions that I didn't even know all the answers to and I just had to keep repeating the stories over and over to them.
But her levels started getting better from the lights. She recieved 2 full days of the lights and finally yesterday the neonatologist discontinued them, and her levels aren't going up now, just barely going down, but they are fine now that she's a few days old.
Things are still a little hard now but I guess they will be. I didn't get to try breastfeeding her, because of her lung problem - they said it was too much work for her body- and if anyone knows me they know how strongly I feel about breastfeeding, until she was almost 3 days old. She's used to bottles and the immediate gratification she gets from that, and we've tried breastfeeding so many times now, even with the help of my mom who is a LLL leader, and it's just not working. My milk is in no problem, and I've been pumping like crazy, but she just won't latch on and won't nurse. I am of course going to keep trying and if it never works then I plan on pumping and at least feeding her my milk from the bottle, but I wish we could just nurse and have that whole experience together.
Even so it's amazing and wonderful to have her home. I spent the first 4 hours home just holding her and cuddling with her and looking at her beautiful face. I know everyone says it, but in my opinion she is definately the most BEAUTIFUL baby that has ever existed. Right now she's peacefully sleeping and I can't even leave the room, I just want to be by her after not having her with me in the room at ALL when we were in the hospital. It actually is a good thing right now that we are cramped for space and her crib is in our bedroom and our desk is in here too, because otherwise I think I'd have to just sit beside her crib and watch her these first few days.
We go to the pediatritian on Thursday, so hopefully all will continue to be well with her then! I'm hoping that her weight will be good because of course this whole breastfeeding thing is frustrating, but I am supplementing with my pumped milk and formula as needed to make sure she is eating enough. I feel like she's spending a TON of time sleeping today, but I will need to wake her up in a few minutes to give her another feeding because I want to make sure she is eating.
I will have more pictures of her to post later on. Right now I need to go and be with my little girl some more. We have some awesome pictures though already so I promise to share them as soon as I get the chance to hop on the computer again.
Thank you all for your posts and kind words through everything. There are definately some amazing women on this site and I'm so thankful for it.
-Melissa
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Enjoy your beautiful baby girl.
