We've created horrible sleep habits & need help- long

DD is almost 13 months. We've helped her (not intentionally, of course) create horrible night time sleeping habits.

She's been getting up once a night for practically forever. She seemed hungry initially, so we'd give her a bottle. She'd always eat it, pound it actually. She's a really bad eater during the day, so I really thought she was genuinely hungry.

Like I said, she's up normally once a night. DH & I alternate getting up every other night, she is asleep during the whole bottle and goes back down.

We need to break this obviously, we'd love for her to sleep through the night. Is it too late at 13 months to train her to sleep through the night?

Also, she rarely falls alseep on her own for naps either, she always, always falls asleep on the bottle, or with a little gentle bouncing on our shoulder. All horrible habits, I know. Does a baby who doesn't normally fall asleep on their own actually do it with CIO or other methods?

What can we do? Since we were away last week and she slept even worse than normal, she's up 3 or 4 times a night.

Do we need to make gradual changes? Like stop giving her bottles and instead bounce her back to sleep for a while...and then when she adjusts to that, then start letting her CIO? Is stopping the bottles AND letting her CIO at the same time going to be reallllly tough?

Help, please

Re: We've created horrible sleep habits & need help- long

How have we never discussed this before? You do know that you have the CIO Drill Sergeant at your disposal 24/7

Going to make my coffee then I will be back with an intelligible answer for you!

Re: We've created horrible sleep habits & need help- long

Posted by Diana1215



How have we never discussed this before? You do know that you have the CIO Drill Sergeant at your disposal 24/7

Going to make my coffee then I will be back with an intelligible answer for you!

Re: We've created horrible sleep habits & need help- long

Ok - I'm back - coffee in hand

First and foremost - you need to STOP giving her a bottle in the middle of the night. Now - if C is anything like Jack (which we know she is) she will flip out and nothing else will calm her down. That is when I had to start doing CIO - because nothing else was working to soothe him.

Even though she doesn't eat that much during the day she still has the ability to go the 12 hours without a bottle. How many ounces is she drinking a day now?

I know some girls do put their DC down asleep/sleepy and CIO works for them also. Jack goes down wide awake so I can only speak from that experience.

Re: We've created horrible sleep habits & need help- long

Posted by Diana1215

Ok - I'm back - coffee in hand

First and foremost - you need to STOP giving her a bottle in the middle of the night. Now - if C is anything like Jack (which we know she is) she will flip out and nothing else will calm her down. That is when I had to start doing CIO - because nothing else was working to soothe him.

Even though she doesn't eat that much during the day she still has the ability to go the 12 hours without a bottle. How many ounces is she drinking a day now?

I know some girls do put their DC down asleep/sleepy and CIO works for them also. Jack goes down wide awake so I can only speak from that experience.

Message edited 7/22/2008 8:30:12 AM.

Re: We've created horrible sleep habits & need help- long

Bryan used to fall asleep on the bottle as well. Both for nap and bed time.
First, I weaned him off the night bottle.
What I did was lessen the ounces.
Started at 6, then next night, 5, etc..
Once there was no more, we started CIO. Yes. The first few nights are hard, but, for us, it worked.
Once he was going to sleep at bed time, no problem, nap time was a miracle and we did no bottle, cold turkey. He new after lunch, he'd get his bottle, then, I'd bring him into his room and lay him down.

Good Luck.

Another suggestion is, replace the milk in the bottle with water. If your DC is not a fan of water, she won't want it.

Re: We've created horrible sleep habits & need help- long

Posted by nbc188

Posted by Diana1215

Ok - I'm back - coffee in hand

First and foremost - you need to STOP giving her a bottle in the middle of the night. Now - if C is anything like Jack (which we know she is) she will flip out and nothing else will calm her down. That is when I had to start doing CIO - because nothing else was working to soothe him.

Even though she doesn't eat that much during the day she still has the ability to go the 12 hours without a bottle. How many ounces is she drinking a day now?

I know some girls do put their DC down asleep/sleepy and CIO works for them also. Jack goes down wide awake so I can only speak from that experience.

So do you think I need to gradually do it, knowing her temperment like you do? Like first stop giving bottles but still console her, then next week let her CIO? Or do it all at once?

I can't think clearly right now about how many ounces she drinks a day (as you know, she's a sipper, not a chugger, so it goes on all day), but it's within the recommended range, I know that. It's solids that she's horrible with, and I feel like she compensates with more bottles when she refuses solids as much as she does.

Did you use any type of book, or just winged it with CIO?

Message edited 7/22/2008 8:36:36 AM.

Re: We've created horrible sleep habits & need help- long

Re: We've created horrible sleep habits & need help- long

I used the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". It covers ALL age levels from 5 months to adolescents.

Maddie was the SAME way with the middle of the night feeding. I was EBF, so the burden was on me to get up at night. Finally, I said, "ENOUGH" and we started giving her a bottle of BM when she woke up.

On the nights where I had to work the next morning, DH would give it to her. That worked for awhile, then one night she wouldn't take it from him. She screamed bloody murder until I came in. She happily took the bottle from me . SO- again, I was up every night giving her a bottle.

THAT worked for awhile, until one night she refused the bottle from me, but was clawing at my shirt. The little bugger wanted it straight from the tap, not the bottle. Thats when I realized she wasn't really hungry- she was just wanting to use me to help soothe her to sleep. Thats when I got the book. She needed to learn how to soothe HERSELF back to sleep.

It was HARD- the first night she cried/fussed for almost 2.5 hours. I recommend picking a block of days when you don't have to be up early. You and DH need to be a team in this- I swear thats the only way I was able to stick with it. It took about 3-4 nights, but she finally got it. Now, she only needs to be soothed by me when she is sick or cutting teeth.

Now- I always put her down awake and she soothes herself to sleep.

GL- you CAN do this. BUT- don't beat yourself up if you cave a few times, because it IS hard.

Re: We've created horrible sleep habits & need help- long

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by nbc188

Posted by Diana1215

Ok - I'm back - coffee in hand

First and foremost - you need to STOP giving her a bottle in the middle of the night. Now - if C is anything like Jack (which we know she is) she will flip out and nothing else will calm her down. That is when I had to start doing CIO - because nothing else was working to soothe him.

Even though she doesn't eat that much during the day she still has the ability to go the 12 hours without a bottle. How many ounces is she drinking a day now?

I know some girls do put their DC down asleep/sleepy and CIO works for them also. Jack goes down wide awake so I can only speak from that experience.

So do you think I need to gradually do it, knowing her temperment like you do? Like first stop giving bottles but still console her, then next week let her CIO? Or do it all at once?

I can't think clearly right now about how many ounces she drinks a day (as you know, she's a sipper, not a chugger, so it goes on all day), but it's within the recommended range, I know that. It's solids that she's horrible with, and I feel like she compensates with more bottles when she refuses solids as much as she does.

Did you use any type of book, or just winged it with CIO?

I read every single book out there with regards to sleeping and kind of just modified it to what will work with Jack.

I think that it's kind of better to do it both at once. So that she realizes - no more bottle and I have to now go back to sleep - no one is coming to get me. BUT - that is totally your discretion.

I personally feel like it's almost the inevitable - she probably won't be consoled when you go in there and she realizes that she's not going to get a bottle - so one of two things will happen. You will end up giving her a bottle - or you will have to let her CIO. Did that make sense?

We need to start talking on the phone because I write wayyyy too much to you lol

ETA: Dawn just reminded me that I cut down the ounces in his middle of the night bottle. I think it went from 6 to 3 over a two week period. Then one day I just said "I can't do this anymore - no more bottle for you" - because he clearly didn't need the bottle - he just woke up and wanted to be comforted.

Re: We've created horrible sleep habits & need help- long

I wasn't a fan of CIO, or having my baby cry ever....so I have a very spoiled boy.

Then at 11 months it got to the point where I could not be tortured anymore at bedtime with this long drawn out process, I put him in the crib and said good night.

Never cried, just a crazy angry yell. over and over again.

IT went on forever, I go into his room, take him out and he laid down next to me and went to sleep.

The next morning DH noticed 2 broken crib bars. This nut broke my crib!!!!!!!!!

Waited 2 weeks, to try it again. He woke in the middle of the night, I told DH to leave him, maybe he will go back to sleep.

Then came the bang...he threw himself out of the crib.

So CIO was never going to work for us. Maybe I waited too late..who knows.

I am zero help with getting babies to sleep. Josh comes into my bed, we watch 20 minutes of toy story and he falls asleep on most nights, then I transfer him.

But he got up in the middle of the night every night until I took away all night feedings.

It was a long weaning process. First, pick a time...Josh wasn't allowed a feeding between 10 and 6.

I would go in his room and rock him and sing to him, but no milk.

Eventually, he got it and did not wake anymore.

Re: We've created horrible sleep habits & need help- long

We just started a modified CIO (really more of a Ferber plan) with DS at 7.5 months. Funny you are concerened your baby is too old--I was worried mine is too young and still needs us. He slept very well until he started teething, and we started rocking him at night and giving him cold bottles (seemed to help with tooth pain). Now he expects it, eventhough the worst of the teething is past.

Today I'm trying it for his naps also, since he's a lousy napper as well and usually requires help from me (rocking, a walk in the stroller, etc.).
Diana is probably right--you should probably ween off the bottle and let CIO at the same time. That's what we are doing at night. It's horrible initially, but gets slightly easier as the days go by, and I'm realizing we are helping him learn to sleep and comfort himself, two important skills in the process.

Good luck, and fm if you need to talk!

Re: We've created horrible sleep habits & need help- long

I have to say thank you for this thread. DD is 11 months, and we do the EXACT same thing as nbc188...

DD has a bottle at bed time and I rock her until she falls asleep...then I put her in the crib. USually she will wake somewhere between 12 and 3 and cry until I get her a bottle...

She doesn't eat a lot of food during the day, so I too chalked it up to being too hungry...

For those of you who have successfully done CIO/Ferber, if your DC was not eating much during the day did you find that sleeping through the night without feeding made them eat more/better during the day?

Thanks again for the help!!

Re: We've created horrible sleep habits & need help- long

Posted by FrankiesGirl107

I have to say thank you for this thread. DD is 11 months, and we do the EXACT same thing as nbc188...

DD has a bottle at bed time and I rock her until she falls asleep...then I put her in the crib. USually she will wake somewhere between 12 and 3 and cry until I get her a bottle...

She doesn't eat a lot of food during the day, so I too chalked it up to being too hungry...

For those of you who have successfully done CIO/Ferber, if your DC was not eating much during the day did you find that sleeping through the night without feeding made them eat more/better during the day?

Thanks again for the help!!

Re: We've created horrible sleep habits & need help- long

Sorry u are going through this..i cant totally relate. Can I suggest maybe putting water in a bottle? You can leave that in the crib and she can get it if she needs it...That's how I stopped my son from drinking a bottle in the middle of the night. He would pick up the bottle, take a few sips and go back to sleep.
I would settle the bottle problem first, then CIO. If you have any questions about CIO, FM me bc i just went through this!! Good Luck!!

Re: We've created horrible sleep habits & need help- long

Thank you for ALL the suggestions. I really need to figure out a game-plan ASAP, we're both just so exhausted and know it's not good for DD either.

Thank you all