Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

Posted by Bxgell2

In my house, not until they can pay for it, and even then, I'm not too sure. I'm against it for several reasons - first, cell phones have become one but of many status symbols, and I don't want to encourage my children to feed into the materialism frenzy.

Two, when they are school-aged, I will know where they are during school hours, and if they need to be picked up, we will make those arrangements, by talking with each other, in the morning, or they can call me on a school phone. If they are at a friend's house and need to be picked up, they can do what I did as a kid - use the house phone.

Three, kids these days spend WAY too much time with electronics. When I was school-aged I had a limit of how much time I could spend on the phone and that was for a reason - to encourage me to actually SEE my friends in person, and PLAY with them outside, instead of sitting inside all day on Nintendo (ok, ok, at that time, maybe it was still Atari ), the computer or the phone. I want to encourage my children to play, in person, with their friends, outside, as much as possible.

Fourth, some independence is a good thing! I've seen WAY too many children these days who are literally attached at the hip and the phone with mom or dad. They text/call for every little movement, and vice versa. Yes, I want to be close with my children, but I don't need to know what they are doing every second of every day.

Message edited 1/27/2010 12:16:10 PM.

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

My theory was always when they could pay for it. I have a feeling I'm going to be revamping that theory once middle school comes. I think what I'm going to do is they're going to have to contribute towards it by getting an allowance. Some of their allowance goes towards the phone, some into their savings, some towards spending money. Even if it's a few dollars, I feel like they should know it's an expense that they are incurring.

It's not so much the need to call people but I do think it becomes the mode of communication for kids in middle school, whether I like it or not. It's the equivalent of letting your kid use a house phone when I was growing up. We could easily be grounded from the phone.

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

As I'm reading all these replies I my mind just keeps going.

My DH and I will have to decide at what point it is necessary and our DC are responsible enough to have a phone...and that is a decision that can only be made as time goes on.

But I do want to point out a few things that I DON'T like about tweens having cell phones, which I think is the reason I'm so opposed to it right now.

-The literacy level of the youth seems like it is plummeting. Lots of kids (and many adults) are so used to slang and abbreviations that they can't spell properly, form proper sentences or even put coherent thoughts into words. There has always been slang among the youth in every generation, but I feel like when I was young, at least we knew the right words to use and how to spell them. In a lot of situations, I don't think the young people today know the difference.

-Too many kids have a sense of entitlement about everything nowadays.

-When we talked on the family phone, usually in the kitchen (this was before cordless phones), we were still in earshot of our parents and it was alot harder to "hide" things from them. Now that kids can make calls from anywhere at any time, I just feel like they can get into more trouble because there is so much more secrecy.

-Having a conversation with somebody (rather than a text), or getting together to "gab" was actually a skill being learned to be used later in life, and I think kids are lacking in that lesson now. I feel that is obviated by the fact that everybody I work with would rather send an email instead of picking up a phone and calling a person. It drives me nuts!

There are my opinions now, and as I said above, my opinions may change as my children grow, but I will have to weigh my reasons above against the reasons that they may have for needing that cell phone.

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

I really think you have to choose for your child what works best for your family when the time comes!!

I have a child in the middle school and a child in the elementary school.
My oldest son has a phone because he stays after to go to clubs, sports and he also tutors 6 & 7 graders one day a week. Many times one of the activities will get cancelled and he needs a ride home, so he will text me to tell me something is cancelled and I can pick him up. We do not having busing in our school district unless you live over 2 miles away. So almost everyone has to be picked up. When he forgets his phone at home he has to borrow a phone from someone else. Once you walk out of the school doors they will not let you back in!!
My elementary school son does not have a phone yet. Some of his friends do, but it is mostly for show. I know he would lose it. In September when he goes to middle school he will get one.
Also all the kids starting in 5th grade hang out in big groups together and most of them have phones. I have not seen any pay phones in my town for the kids to use. If a fight breaks out I would want my child to be able to call me to come get him out of there!!!
I feel like I can contact or text my son at any time so I know he is safe. Also at his school you don't get any warnings if they see your phone out during the school day you lose it.

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

My niece just got a phone last year at 11. She's on a dance competition team and her practices on Sundays are at all different times and my sister wanted to be able to get in touch with her easily.

That being said I think it depends on the child. My nephews are 7 and 10 and neither one of them is mature enough to have one. They would totally lose it.

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

I am all for those phones where they can only call the preprogrammed numbers.
A regular cell phone, when they can pay for it themselves. I would definitely want my child to have one by the time they start driving.

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

I know when we were younger we could use a pay phone, but has anyone recently checked out a pay phone. Most of them do not work and the ones that do are really disgusting. I think the times are changing at at a certain point kids need to have a cell phone. I am not sure what is the best age, I have awhile to decide since my DC are one and two years old. LOL

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

I know 9 and 14 are different by a lot, and I didn't read anyone elses response. Just want to add that my 14yo nephew texted SIX THOUSAND messages last month. He received just as many.

They received their bill in a box in the mail. It was several hundred pages. His other siblings have NEVER come close to that. They got phones when they were about 11 or 12.

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

Posted by Bops

My SD just turned 12 and I think she has had hers since she's 10'ish...

ETA- As far as what age I think is appropriate...I guess it really depends on the "needs" of the child and the resason of why they might need one

Message edited 1/27/2010 1:52:37 PM.

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

All of my stepdaughter's friends had cell phones by the time they were 10. now they are all 12 and 13 with Blackberry Storms!!! I'm like - do they REALLY need to be that plugged in at that age? It's not like they are a CEO that needs to be reached in every possible way. They are in 7th grade for God's sakes...

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

100000% agree. I hate how my stepdaughters are with their cells. Everything they do is so secretive, and it has become like a security blanket - it must be in hand at all times, with their noses at the screen texting texting texting all day, writing crappppp like thizzzzzz <3 <3 <3


And parents justify getting the phones with using them for "emergencies" when in reality the kids are not.
I hate to be harsh but I have 2 kids, 11 and 6, and I actually see it getting WORSE as the years have gone by. The 6 yr. olds are soooo out of control and the parents just keep giving them things and not disciplining them.
I am the "bad" parent though who won't let my child have a phone, laptop, ipod after ipod after they break, etc.
TOO.BAD-

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

Posted by hazeleyes33

100000% agree. I hate how my stepdaughters are with their cells. Everything they do is so secretive, and it has become like a security blanket - it must be in hand at all times, with their noses at the screen texting texting texting all day, writing crappppp like thizzzzzz <3 <3 <3

Message edited 1/27/2010 3:23:43 PM.

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

100000% agree. I hate how my stepdaughters are with their cells. Everything they do is so secretive, and it has become like a security blanket - it must be in hand at all times, with their noses at the screen texting texting texting all day, writing crappppp like thizzzzzz <3 <3 <3


And parents justify getting the phones with using them for "emergencies" when in reality the kids are not.
I hate to be harsh but I have 2 kids, 11 and 6, and I actually see it getting WORSE as the years have gone by. The 6 yr. olds are soooo out of control and the parents just keep giving them things and not disciplining them.
I am the "bad" parent though who won't let my child have a phone, laptop, ipod after ipod after they break, etc.
TOO.BAD-


I really dont understand why you are so worked up over other parents giving their kids phones. Yes, I will give my son one for emergencies and it will ONLY be used for that. The itemized bill comes every month and if there are abuses of the privilege, you lose it. If a parent tells their child they get a phone for emergencies and they use it for other things.....and the parent is OK with that...what does it matter to you, what phone someone elses kid is talking on or for how long. Not all parents are like that, and I really dont care how old your kids are, it does NOT make you an wiser than the rest of us.

Then I applaud you for that but many parents do not do that.
I never said I was wiser because my kids are older, but I have experienced more and different things than someone who has a younger child. Just like a parent who has a teenager or an adult, they will know more about certain things than I do and I could not argue with that.

If you feel like youre the bad parent, you put that on yourself. Like I said though, I dont know why you are all on the offensive on this one. The OP asked a question, I answered it, for whatever reason you singled out my response for what I thought was appropriate for my family and questioned my motives and reasoning. I answered your question and was again challenged. I dont see why you care so much what other people allow their children to do.


Oh, I don't care if I am the bad parent as I have my beliefs but it is hard to stand up to them when everyone else feels differently.
You will see as your child gets older that you WILL care what other parents allow their children to do when you have to deal with the way children are being disciplined and being raised.

Sorry but this is a sore spot for me and the way kids are being raised.

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

I just wanted to say that I am a parent of a teen aged girls who has a phone,and a computer and an ipod etc.
My DD is a great student and an all around good kid
I dont feel it makes me a "bad parent" for letting her have these items.
She will lose them if she abuses the privelege it comes with rules.....homework done right after school and if she has a test then she has to study for it etc
I dont think just because a teen has a cell phone makes them do bad in school or secretive etc
and I get compliments all the time on how we are raising our kids .....we have very nice,respectful well behaved smart children so....

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

Posted by hazeleyes33

100000% agree. I hate how my stepdaughters are with their cells. Everything they do is so secretive, and it has become like a security blanket - it must be in hand at all times, with their noses at the screen texting texting texting all day, writing crappppp like thizzzzzz <3 <3 <3

Message edited 1/27/2010 3:47:52 PM.

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

I think 11 or 12 (starting middle school) is appropriate.

In my opinion, if it is possible for me to have an emergency which may neccesitate a phone then it is also possible that my child may have such an emergency. During middle school they get dropped off at the movies, mall etc. plus they may even do some stuff we will not find out about.

I hope that such an emergency never arises but in the event that it does it would make me feel more comfortable that they have a method of getting in touch with someone. I do not want them to have to rely on someone else's phone or trying to find the mythical payphone.

To the extent that it is not used solely for emergencies, as long as the privelege is not being abused and the child is fulfilling his/her responsibilities then, to me, a cell is a kin to our phone usage in the 90's.

I really do not think that a cell phone embodies all the evils of society. Plus I just read "The Lovely Bones" so I am extra paranoid right now.

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

Remember PRE-KIDS, when you all said "I would never..." ? I truly believe this is one of those situations.

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

Posted by eddiesmommy

Posted by hazeleyes33

100000% agree. I hate how my stepdaughters are with their cells. Everything they do is so secretive, and it has become like a security blanket - it must be in hand at all times, with their noses at the screen texting texting texting all day, writing crappppp like thizzzzzz <3 <3 <3

And parents justify getting the phones with using them for "emergencies" when in reality the kids are not.
I hate to be harsh but I have 2 kids, 11 and 6, and I actually see it getting WORSE as the years have gone by. The 6 yr. olds are soooo out of control and the parents just keep giving them things and not disciplining them.
I am the "bad" parent though who won't let my child have a phone, laptop, ipod after ipod after they break, etc.
TOO.BAD-

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

I just see so many parents who are not parenting their children and parents like us who do, has a difficult time.


what does that mean?? so because some parents their kids cell phones they are not parenting them????

Re: What age do you think is appropriate for a cell phone?

Posted by hazeleyes33

Posted by eddiesmommy

Posted by hazeleyes33

100000% agree. I hate how my stepdaughters are with their cells. Everything they do is so secretive, and it has become like a security blanket - it must be in hand at all times, with their noses at the screen texting texting texting all day, writing crappppp like thizzzzzz <3 <3 <3

And parents justify getting the phones with using them for "emergencies" when in reality the kids are not.
I hate to be harsh but I have 2 kids, 11 and 6, and I actually see it getting WORSE as the years have gone by. The 6 yr. olds are soooo out of control and the parents just keep giving them things and not disciplining them.
I am the "bad" parent though who won't let my child have a phone, laptop, ipod after ipod after they break, etc.
TOO.BAD-

I really dont understand why you are so worked up over other parents giving their kids phones. Yes, I will give my son one for emergencies and it will ONLY be used for that. The itemized bill comes every month and if there are abuses of the privilege, you lose it. If a parent tells their child they get a phone for emergencies and they use it for other things.....and the parent is OK with that...what does it matter to you, what phone someone elses kid is talking on or for how long. Not all parents are like that, and I really dont care how old your kids are, it does NOT make you an wiser than the rest of us.

Then I applaud you for that but many parents do not do that.
I never said I was wiser because my kids are older, but I have experienced more and different things than someone who has a younger child. Just like a parent who has a teenager or an adult, they will know more about certain things than I do and I could not argue with that.

If you feel like youre the bad parent, you put that on yourself. Like I said though, I dont now why you are all on the offensive on this one. The OP asked a question, I answered it, for whatever reason you singled out my response for what I thought was appropriate for my family and questioned my motives and reasoning. I answered your question and was again challenged. I dont see why you care so much what other people allow their children to do.

Message edited 1/27/2010 4:03:21 PM.