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What do you do to keep your child focused?

Posted By Message

Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!

Member since 8/05

14470 total posts

Name:
Veronica

What do you do to keep your child focused?

She's doing fine. But it's that time of year. She starts to slip. Teacher is getting annoyed. She's just getting lazy. 80-20=100? Really ?? Oh yeah that's a minus ok it's 60 well that's nice but you got the answer wrong. Why not double check your work?

It's gotten so bad she's trying to do math work that's sideways like 120-90+30=___ actually sideways instead of reordering it laterally
120
- 90
+ 30
Why I ask? Because why not. Well because you haven't learned that yet and you haven't mastered it yet. If you were getting it right every time I'd have a hard time arguing but you aren't and you're not double checking THAT work either.

Ugh!

She's smart but lazy.

My aunt wants me to take away her fun stuff and yes I have in a lot of ways but I can't really punish her to harshly like removing girl scout camp and no I'm not cancelling our trip to Disney this year (dude, I need a vacation). Yes, I'm on her pretty hard at home since this has started. Making her write out 10s and 5s and her spelling words. She needs to read her books and no fun TV time or game time with mama.

But come on! The girl has all As and one B (89) how harsh can I be?

But still, what do you do to light that fire under their butts?Chat Icon

We don't bribe. I can't understand a reward program for doing what is expected. I remove fun when the expected isn't met.

Last night was just so UN-FUN for her and me honestly. But mostly we said "remember this when you feel distracted tomorrow because if you get another yellow report, it will be the same or more of no-fun".

ETA: the B isn't even in math, but math is what we are scratching our heads on lately with her. She knows her stuff, just not putting in the effort.

Message edited 3/9/2016 10:51:19 AM.

Posted 3/9/16 10:50 AM
 

TiggerBounce
The Prince & Princess

Member since 7/05

4939 total posts

Name:
J

Re: What do you do to keep your child focused?

I'm no help, but I can say you're not alone. I swear I could have written this SAME thing about DS!

Posted 3/9/16 3:03 PM
 

Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!

Member since 8/05

14470 total posts

Name:
Veronica

Re: What do you do to keep your child focused?

Posted by TiggerBounce

I'm no help, but I can say you're not alone. I swear I could have written this SAME thing about DS!



Crazy right?

I felt so bad I emailed the teacher to apologize for her behavior and to just let her know that we KNOW. ya know?

Chat Icon

She responded super quick. She too is just amazed how far off she is. She's not listening, following directions and is regrouping her math wrong. Teacher says she's even unable to simply write out a math problem read to her. She hopes that maybe AJ just needs Spring Break to spring back into routine (our Spring Break is next week).

Ugh!

Posted 3/9/16 4:01 PM
 

2BadSoSad
LIF Adult

Member since 8/12

6791 total posts

Name:

Re: What do you do to keep your child focused?

My son has been slacking in school the last few weeks. Forgetting books MULTIPLE times, incomplete assignments in class. I took away ALL electronics for a week the first time, the 2nd time, he wasnt allowed to go to basketball practice or his game last weekend AND he had to write a letter to his teacher apologizing for his incomplete work and talking in her class and explain how he was going to be better and the actions he would take. Those last two really seemed to work. I had to take away sports and by writing the letter to his teacher it made him accountable.

He actually got a letter home today saying how diligent he has been the last few days, getting all his work done and how proud she is of him.

Posted 3/9/16 8:21 PM
 

2BadSoSad
LIF Adult

Member since 8/12

6791 total posts

Name:

Re: What do you do to keep your child focused?

Posted by Xelindrya

Posted by TiggerBounce

I'm no help, but I can say you're not alone. I swear I could have written this SAME thing about DS!



Crazy right?

I felt so bad I emailed the teacher to apologize for her behavior and to just let her know that we KNOW. ya know?

Chat Icon

She responded super quick. She too is just amazed how far off she is. She's not listening, following directions and is regrouping her math wrong. Teacher says she's even unable to simply write out a math problem read to her. She hopes that maybe AJ just needs Spring Break to spring back into routine (our Spring Break is next week).

Ugh!




See my above post. I reached out to her at first since it was OFTEN. Then she said something in class to him like "well my mom didnt XXXX" to which she replied, "your mom isnt my 3rd grader
and she was right, instead of apologizing FOR HER and me acknowledging it, I made HIM do it, hence the letter I mentioned. He needed to be accountable for his actions, not me accountable FOR HIM.

Posted 3/9/16 8:23 PM
 

Dolphinsbaby
My 3 little guys!

Member since 12/10

2943 total posts

Name:

Re: What do you do to keep your child focused?

This was my sister growing up. She is smart, but super lazy. Drove my parents up the wall! She was so lazy she wouldn't even write out her entire name on her paper, just her nickname. With her, punishment never worked. She simply didn't care. School just wasn't her thing. She tended to thrive off praise. So when she did write out her full name, it was like they would whip out balloons for her (and here I was if I got a 90, they would ask me what happened to the other 10 points!).

As she got older, she learned to schmooze her teachers. Everyone loved her. She is so personable she could charm anyone. This served her well until college when the professors did not give a crap at all. She would cry and say her teachers hated her and I was like no, they just don't care about your excuses or stories or whatever. Just do your damn work! Lol. She finally graduated college but she was on an extended plan and wound up taking a semester off because she needed a breakChat Icon!!!

Sorry I digressed on a whole tangent about my sister. I guess it still runs me the wrong way after all these years!Chat Icon

Posted 3/9/16 9:23 PM
 

Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!

Member since 8/05

14470 total posts

Name:
Veronica

Re: What do you do to keep your child focused?

Posted by 2BadSoSad

Posted by Xelindrya

Posted by TiggerBounce

I'm no help, but I can say you're not alone. I swear I could have written this SAME thing about DS!



Crazy right?

I felt so bad I emailed the teacher to apologize for her behavior and to just let her know that we KNOW. ya know?

Chat Icon

She responded super quick. She too is just amazed how far off she is. She's not listening, following directions and is regrouping her math wrong. Teacher says she's even unable to simply write out a math problem read to her. She hopes that maybe AJ just needs Spring Break to spring back into routine (our Spring Break is next week).

Ugh!




See my above post. I reached out to her at first since it was OFTEN. Then she said something in class to him like "well my mom didnt XXXX" to which she replied, "your mom isnt my 3rd grader
and she was right, instead of apologizing FOR HER and me acknowledging it, I made HIM do it, hence the letter I mentioned. He needed to be accountable for his actions, not me accountable FOR HIM.



True. But I mean I had to apologize only because she (the teacher) and I work together a lot with AJ. But we both sort of been too busy to talk or email lately. So it was more of an apology that I haven't acknowledged what's been going on. Something I normally always do. I am not the kind of parent who gets the negative reports and ignores them. I jump on them generally. This time, however, there were several and I did nothing at all from her perspective. From her side, she normally won't send home a few yellows without an email saying what's going on. This time, she too has fallen behind.

So it was nice for us both to reach out and say Yep we know. But in my email I told her we don't like it either. So she said it was nice to know we're both working on this issue from home and school. I'm not ignoring the teacher's concerns. I'm trying to nip this in the butt. She has my full support.

AJ has apologized but as I tell her .. Words are meaningless without action. Because saying sorry is nothing more than a lie if you don't act sorry and behave better. Lying betrays their trust. You say you're sorry and you'll do better but you choose not to time and time again. By doing so you are lying to them and yourself and they can't trust you to try harder and lose faith in you.

AJ is affected by how others perceive her. She hates to disappoint and nearly idolizes her teacher. So a united front generally works.

She did better yesterday. So she got back her bed time routine with mama. Chat Icon

I asked her what the last two previous nights were like and she said she was angry with herself and cried a little but kept thinking how she could fix it so she'd get bed time with me back again. This morning she said she slept really good because we had bedtime time together again.

On the list of things to take away... what can I take away?

She already has without bad behavior (on school nights):
No Ipad use
No TV in her room
No Gaming system

What she gets normally
TV during dinner (taken)
Bedtime routine games and cuddles (taken)
Choice of dinner (taken)
Overall good mood (taken)

She's lost favorite stuff animals and Friday night fun time, no sleep overs, no play dates.

Punishment is extra homework

Her 'rewards' for good behavior and good grades:
Ipad usage non educational
TV after homework is done in the living room
Her favorite dinner (salmon)


Posted 3/10/16 10:52 AM
 

JandJ1224

Member since 6/06

5911 total posts

Name:
Jannette

Re: What do you do to keep your child focused?

I have a VERY difficult time with my 7 year old. I'm also constantly telling her to double check her work. The night before a spelling test is like torture for her and me. I know she is capable of doing well but we need to put a lot of time into it.
What I've been doing is rewarding positive behavior with attention. So if we are doing hw and she is focusing and doing what she is supposed to she will get to sit on my lap (which she loves). If she starts losing focus she goes back to her own seat. Last night studying when she would get a word right she would get a high five.

I feel your pain and know how frustrating it can be!

Posted 3/10/16 12:44 PM
 

kgs11
LIF Adult

Member since 2/07

1424 total posts

Name:
Kim

Re: What do you do to keep your child focused?

She sounds bored.

Posted 3/10/16 5:44 PM
 
 

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