What do you do with SKs say...

bad things about DH that you KNOW they heard BM say...?

SD (She's 6) came over and said something bad about what DH does for a living.. when questioned where she heard it.. She said 'I made it up'... There is NO WAY she made it up. People in DH's line of business catch a bad rap a lot. So to hear what she said, it HAD to come from an adult.

She kept to it that she 'made it up' and 'never heard anyone say it before' - DH had a nervous giggle going on, because he just wanted the conversation over. I pushed a little further and then explained that I did know she was lying, it will not be tolerated, anyone who says anything bad about her Daddy should not, and she is NOT to repeat anything like that again.

I spoke with DH after this happened and he is going to have a chat with BM next time he sees her about talking about him negatively whether she is in the room or not (she has a BAD habit of crawling on the floor and hiding behind doors and furniture to eavesdrop!) because she hears EVERYTHING! I laid into him a little bit about giving up when she says 'i made it up', that is her answer alot and she says it to not get her mother and grandparents in trouble. He agreed that this is unacceptable, and he will lay into her the next time she gives that BS as an excuse...

And the best thing is, DH went out of his way to help her with her needs AND her DH's needs with what they need from his company, I told him, absolutely this was the last time he is 'to help' them. Next time, they can go out and help themselves...

GRRRR....

TIA for your help.

Re: What do you do with SKs say...

I have been here before, many times. Just as an aside, I wonder if it's girls in general that do the eavesdropping thing. My SD used to do that a lot when she was younge. Now she hangs around wherever I am on the phone to hear what I'm saying. It's so annoying.

Anyway, you did the right thing by setting her straight and letting her know that it will not be tolerated. I used to do that, but not nearly enough and now we have a problem. My SD has a serious lack of respect for DH and it's b/c of the way BM used to speak about DH in front of her. The problem is only going to get worse as SD enters her teens.

My DH does not like confrontation and would not address either BM or SD about the issue. If your DH is like that, then you take the reigns when it comes to SD. I think you did the right thing. Learn from our mistakes and take care of the problem now while she is still young.

Re: What do you do with SKs say...

I went through the same thing with SD. I think you were right by talking to her about it, b/c from my experience, if you don't stop it now, it will get worse. my SD is almost 15 years old and does not respect DH and has said some very negative and just horrible things about him - all coming from BM and we know this b/c of the nature of her comments. I told SD last year that once something comes out of your mouth you can't take it back and that one day she will regret saying these horrible (untrue) things about her father - her response was that she didn't care.

It is so hard, but starting now at 6, I think will definately help.

Re: What do you do with SKs say...

I think you responded perfectly. Definatlely put a stop to it now. My Sd was a little eavesdropping snoop too