what is sufficient time with the baby?

My IL's again are driving me nuts now that I am home! They came over last nite and FIL continued his obnoxious comments and the camera business came into play again (he wont take 1 and put it away), he called her a miserable baby again after being told not to do it the last time, his wife and him play hot potato with the baby like the baby cant be handed back to me and dh, the father took off his shoes and wanted to jump on my couch to get a better angle of taking a pics of the baby, he almost sat on the babyys head 2xs and said he was frustrated bc he couldnt get the carriage together, I told him no tummy for a 3 week old...again he wanted to put her on her tummy. They try and try our patience and then walk out my door and say ...so next week we will be here at... I cant take this nonsense. DH is totally not capable of taking care of them. In fact they are so disrespectful to him that the father hit him 7xs in the face with the highchair bc he was twisting and turning it and dh sat there until I said why dont you say hes hitting you in the face and to stop. I was seconds from telling them to leave. I feel bad telling them they cant come every week but they are drowning dh and I and obviously we all dont get along. They even wrote in their card that we should go out with this $$$ and they will babysit. I cant trust them to do that.

Message edited 12/25/2006 4:00:35 PM.

Re: what is sufficient time with the baby?

sorry to hear...

Re: what is sufficient time with the baby?

I don't think you can go by everyone else's sufficient time with the baby since we all have different tolerance levels for the people in our lives.

I think for a new grandmother - once a week is a minimum. My mom definitely needed 3-4x a week in the beginning. The difference is neither my MIL or my mother were driving me crazy.

Maybe you could start to take the reins. Instead of letting them determine the date, when they say we'll be here on x day - you could tell them that it doesn't work for you, how about y day. That alone will start to establish that they need to ask you when you're available. If they ask why x doesn't work, you could say you have plans. If they ask what, you could be evasive.

Normally I would say have a heart to heart with them, but I don't think it would help since you've already tried it. Sounds like you could hit them over the head with a clock and they still wouldn't adhere to your schedule.

Good luck!

Re: what is sufficient time with the baby?

The one thing that I don't understand is don't they get the fact that you had a BABY COME OUT OF YOUR BODY 3 week ago and its very stressful and traumatic for you?? What about your husband? Wasn't he there when the kid was born? Does he not have the strength to tell his parents My wife is having a hard time right now and we need to you be supportive to her needs??? I know that sounds idealistic, but for gods sake people...if they want to spend time with the baby, they can come over and spend some time cleaning for you, cooking for you...sorry to be frank people, but a woman 3 weeks post partum is still a very hormonal sensitive thing. I think the answer is to burst out crying everytime they offend you, let them see how delicate you are right now...

that should shock them back into submission!

Re: what is sufficient time with the baby?