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So I am going to my MIL's house for a week and she is a smoker...

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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)

Member since 5/05

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Jen - counting my blessings...

So I am going to my MIL's house for a week and she is a smoker...

and my DH also smokes. In our house, he does NOT smoke, he goes outside. But when we visit her (in NC) she is a bigtime smoker and does not like to open the windows because of the central AC. My DH and she like to play cards and sit at the table and smoke, etc. I told him DO NOT light up at the same time as her and he doesn't, but she does even though he asks her not to. I can't stand all the smoke, and I want to get up from the table but I don't want to look rude. There's really nothing to do at their house. At least this time I will have Casey (my dog for those that don't know) with us. That's another thing - my dog is not used to smoke at all!!

How can I avoid this without looking like the evil daughter in law?

Posted 5/23/05 2:53 PM
 
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mrswask
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Michal

Re: So I am going to my MIL's house for a week and she is a smoker...

Even she's going to think that you're an evil DIL for not wanting to be around constant smoking - that ridiculous! Can you do your best to be in another room when they're smoking or be outside with Casey?
Good luck - I feel for you - I hate smoke!!

Posted 5/23/05 2:56 PM
 

Elbee
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Me

Re: So I am going to my MIL's house for a week and she is a smoker...

Do you think DH can try to give her a white lie? Like the doctors think you have asthma and you are going for testing and he said to stay away from too smoke and pollution and stuff? And if she wouldn;t mind to curb the smoking while you are visiting so you don;t get sick?Chat Icon

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Posted 5/23/05 3:06 PM
 

Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st

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Re: So I am going to my MIL's house for a week and she is a smoker...

I would try to find a hotel that will allow pets. DH & I visited my smokeaholic mother last summer for three days and it was awful. Everything we brought with us stunk whether it was worn or not.

Obviously, you will be spending time at her place but if you know at the end of the day you have a smoke free place to go, it may make it a bit easier.

Posted 5/23/05 3:34 PM
 

BabyAvocado
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Re: So I am going to my MIL's house for a week and she is a smoker...

Posted by Elbee

Do you think DH can try to give her a white lie? Like the doctors think you have asthma and you are going for testing and he said to stay away from too smoke and pollution and stuff? And if she wouldn;t mind to curb the smoking while you are visiting so you don;t get sick?Chat Icon

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Don't do this. When I smoked I HATED when people did this and I would definitely think of you as the PIA DIL if you came up with some BS like this. We all know it's BS. And besides, it's HER house. Who are you to tell her to curb her smoking just cause you are visiting? Chat Icon

That said, I do know where you are coming from, as an Ex smoker whose DH still smokes. Unfortunately, though, there isn't much you can do. I would suggest that if she has a patio or a deck that they play outside, (the whether is nice enough to be outside) then the smoke shouldn't bother you nearly as much. My next suggestion would be to periodically get up and leave the room for a short time to give your lungs and eyes a break, then come back. And finally, I would hang out with them as long as you can, and then just call it a night and leave when you can't take it anymore. There's not much else you can do when it's not your house.





Posted 5/23/05 3:53 PM
 

TAD
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

1199 total posts

Name:
Terri

Re: So I am going to my MIL's house for a week and she is a smoker...

I would go outside if weather permitted. I dont think it would be rude if you got up fromt eh table as you played cards. maybe bring a really good book.

Posted 5/23/05 3:56 PM
 

dpli
Daylight savings :)

Member since 5/05

13973 total posts

Name:
D

Re: So I am going to my MIL's house for a week and she is a smoker...

Posted by Christine

I would try to find a hotel that will allow pets. DH & I visited my smokeaholic mother last summer for three days and it was awful. Everything we brought with us stunk whether it was worn or not.

Obviously, you will be spending time at her place but if you know at the end of the day you have a smoke free place to go, it may make it a bit easier.




This is my suggestion too. I don't thjnk I could spend more than a day in someone's house who doesn't care that the smoke bothers me.

Posted 5/23/05 3:58 PM
 

dengal
Dad of Twins

Member since 5/05

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The 80's Man
Let's Go Mets!

Re: So I am going to my MIL's house for a week and she is a smoker...

Posted by Christine

I would try to find a hotel that will allow pets. DH & I visited my smokeaholic mother last summer for three days and it was awful. Everything we brought with us stunk whether it was worn or not.

Obviously, you will be spending time at her place but if you know at the end of the day you have a smoke free place to go, it may make it a bit easier.




This is what I would do. I wouldn't even consider staying at the house. I HATE smoker's, but it may be hard to ask her not to smoke in her own house. Perhaps try to plan lots of trips out of the house, so you can get some fresh air.

Posted 5/23/05 4:56 PM
 

lullabella
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

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Re: So I am going to my MIL's house for a week and she is a smoker...

I hate cigarette smoke indoors, it is really gross. Even when I smoked I would never smoke inside. I think the other posters are right though anyway you package it up if you say something you will be the one who looks bad. Smokers have this wierd complex, like everyone is out to get them cuz they smoke. Especially in their own home, I wouldn't even try to tell her what to do, she might flip!

Good Luck and try to stay outside!

Posted 5/23/05 5:03 PM
 

sunny
Life is good!

Member since 5/05

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Stephanie

Re: So I am going to my MIL's house for a week and she is a smoker...

You should fake a coughing fit every time she lights up!
She will get the picture!

Posted 5/23/05 5:47 PM
 

NewYawkah
2012--A year of new beginnings

Member since 5/05

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Re: So I am going to my MIL's house for a week and she is a smoker...

My father smokes, and when i go over there I can't stand the smell, my poor mother bought 2 hepa filters and 2 ionic breezes, and the place still stinks to high heaven. Still, I couth and choke, and my father just gets very angry and thinks that I am faking it.

It makes me throat feel like it is going to close up, my eyes water, my head aches, and I get sinus problems after I smell smoke for too long. But my dad doesn't think that the cigarettes smell, or if he puts the cancer stick out, he thinks the smell magically disappears! But it NEVER does!!

I'd def try to get a hotel that accepts dogs, or be able to open your window and turn off the central air to that room or something, close the door ...

I'm so sorry. I can't stand smoke either. Chat Icon

Posted 5/23/05 7:07 PM
 

Stacey1403
Where it all began....

Member since 5/05

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Re: So I am going to my MIL's house for a week and she is a smoker...

Tell your MIL your pregnantChat Icon

Posted 5/23/05 10:27 PM
 

CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)

Member since 5/05

19978 total posts

Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...

Re: So I am going to my MIL's house for a week and she is a smoker...

Posted by Stacey1403

Tell your MIL your pregnantChat Icon



LOL! I wish I was..I actually thought I might be for this visit but no such luck. I think I am going to just have to make exscuses to get up. The hotel idea will not work.

Thanks! Chat Icon

Posted 5/24/05 11:32 AM
 

Marcie
Complete Happiness :)

Member since 5/05

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LOVE being a Mommy!

Re: So I am going to my MIL's house for a week and she is a smoker...

Posted by Stacey1403

Tell your MIL your pregnantChat Icon



I was thinking the same thing!
Maybe tell her that you think you are...

Posted 5/24/05 11:41 AM
 

ckdk
My girls

Member since 5/05

7027 total posts

Name:
Cheryl

Re: So I am going to my MIL's house for a week and she is a smoker...

I would just hang out outside and bring a book like someone else said. Don't tell her what to do, that is not right either. I feel for you, I hate the smoke too.

Posted 5/25/05 1:42 PM
 
 

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