Im feeling kind of blue today...

DH and I just got married in September and now that all the hype of the wedding and the wedding planning is gone I feel like there is so much I want to do. My DH on the other hand wants to buckle down and save save save BLEH........ He works a lot and even though I do too, I still want to do things like go away for the weekend, or here or there, and all he wants to do is rest. I feel like Im going to have to sacrifice so much...I totally understand and am sympathetic to the fact that he works so much and wants to save money but still I feel whiny

Re: Im feeling kind of blue today...

Cheer up hun! I'm sure you can convince him to at least take on weekend trip with you.

Re: Im feeling kind of blue today...

Did you get married 9/16? So did I! Both my DH and I are still in rest and save mode. I dont want to plan anything for a while. But I am sorry you are feeling this way!

ETS - oh I see you were married 9/1... still close though - Congrats!

Message edited 10/10/2006 3:04:05 PM.

Re: Im feeling kind of blue today...

whine away, I wish I wanted to do other things than lay on the couch at home

Re: Im feeling kind of blue today...

give it some time, you just got married last month! after married life becomes routine/monotonous he'll want to get away more.

Re: Im feeling kind of blue today...

Saving is not fun. Maybe there is a better balance. Perhaps some local outings and free museums and stuff like that you two can enjoy. I love to meet up with my local college alumni group on Sat to watch football; being out with everyone is fun. I'd also love to go camping with my DH someday, or rent a cabin...stuff like that is cheaper and doesn't break the bank. I'm sure there are some options out there that won't sink your saving plan.

Re: Im feeling kind of blue today...

Keep your eyes on the prize - next Wednesday

Re: Im feeling kind of blue today...

I hear ya! This is where compromise comes in on both your parts....I grew up in more of a "spendy" family. My parents weren't frivolous, but they truly believe that as long as the bills were paid, you needed to enjoy what you've worked hard for; life is short.

DH's family are much more into saving; we are truly the products of our families. So, when we first got married, I wanted to completely do up our house; DH wanted us to get what we had to, but save up for when we had a house and really do that up. Now, we live in a townhouse, but we'll be there for a few years and I wanted it to be beautiful.

After lots of discussion, we live a way we can both handle.....you guys will figure it out, too. Show him all the pluses of how you feel.

Re: Im feeling kind of blue today...

Saving definitely isn't fun but it's a necessary evil these days. I can empathize because we've been on an austerity budget for the past year for our wedding (11/5/06). I did get FH to compromise with me and we took a weekend trip to CT in August. If you check out different sites online, I'm sure you could find something that is not too expensive but that will get you out of your routine long enough to rejuvenate you.

Re: Im feeling kind of blue today...

I think we've all felt this way. Definitely get DH to stop for a second and just enjoy being married. Take a small trip upstate or out East and rest.

Re: Im feeling kind of blue today...

I have the exact same problem. I have the attitude that you only live once and that we should be going out and doing things constantly. I love being active on the weekends- going away, going bike riding, visiting the wineries etc.
My hubby on the other hand would rather just stay home, work on the house or just veg in front of the TV.
We go out to dinner and the movies and stuff on the weekends at night- but during the day he wants to be home or running errands.
His idea of a fun Saturday afternoon is going to Costco!
It used to cause a lot of fights between us but I have come to realize that everyone is different. His idea of relaxing is working on the house or hanging on the couch with me and the TV. He works a much more stressful job than I do so I have come to realize that he should be able to unwind in his own way. Everyone relaxes in different ways.
But I also have come to realize that sometimes I have to be the one to push the issue of doing different things once in a while.
He will never say -"Hey let's go out east this weekend and just have fun!" But if I say it- he is often willing to do it- he just needs a push. Maybe that is what your hubby needs too!
It's all about compromise.
I'm sure if you tell hiim how you feel he might be more willing to do just that!

Re: Im feeling kind of blue today...

Posted by anonttcer

I have the exact same problem. I have the attitude that you only live once and that we should be going out and doing things constantly. I love being active on the weekends- going away, going bike riding, visiting the wineries etc.
My hubby on the other hand would rather just stay home, work on the house or just veg in front of the TV.
We go out to dinner and the movies and stuff on the weekends at night- but during the day he wants to be home or running errands.
His idea of a fun Saturday afternoon is going to Costco!
It used to cause a lot of fights between us but I have come to realize that everyone is different. His idea of relaxing is working on the house or hanging on the couch with me and the TV. He works a much more stressful job than I do so I have come to realize that he should be able to unwind in his own way. Everyone relaxes in different ways.
But I also have come to realize that sometimes I have to be the one to push the issue of doing different things once in a while.
He will never say -"Hey let's go out east this weekend and just have fun!" But if I say it- he is often willing to do it- he just needs a push. Maybe that is what your hubby needs too!
It's all about compromise.
I'm sure if you tell hiim how you feel he might be more willing to do just that!

Re: Im feeling kind of blue today...

Once you're settled in, you and Mike will find a nice balance. Like M-Lo said, eye on the prize next week!

Re: Im feeling kind of blue today...

Oh sweetie i know how you feel. But maybe you guys can comprimise something? What is one thing you REALLY want??

These are for you

Re: Im feeling kind of blue today...

Posted by chikita315

Keep your eyes on the prize - next Wednesday

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Re: Im feeling kind of blue today...

DH and I were married in July. I feel your pain.
we have been paying off the furniture like crazy and trying to save for a house.

BUT there is always time for weekend trips.

It is sort of sad that after all this planning, it is over and now you dont have much to plan. but now, you get to 'plan' out your life with dh, and we have fun every day trying to figure it out!

Re: Im feeling kind of blue today...

Posted by Ophelia

Posted by chikita315

Keep your eyes on the prize - next Wednesday

Re: Im feeling kind of blue today...

Posted by MST9106

DH and I just got married in September and now that all the hype of the wedding and the wedding planning is gone I feel like there is so much I want to do. My DH on the other hand wants to buckle down and save save save BLEH........ He works a lot and even though I do too, I still want to do things like go away for the weekend, or here or there, and all he wants to do is rest. I feel like Im going to have to sacrifice so much...I totally understand and am sympathetic to the fact that he works so much and wants to save money but still I feel whiny

Re: Im feeling kind of blue today...

I hear ya! I think the advice above is excellent! I understand saving.. but tell him to enjoy things now.. that's what is most important. Enjoy your marriage...

I think on the other ahnd, he prob has goals.. I def believe this is where compromise comes in..

I am sure everything will be great.. I would talk to him about what you want, and see what he really wants. After you discuss it, try to compromise and take it from there..

Re: Im feeling kind of blue today...

Posted by HollaGirl

Posted by MST9106

DH and I just got married in September and now that all the hype of the wedding and the wedding planning is gone I feel like there is so much I want to do. My DH on the other hand wants to buckle down and save save save BLEH........ He works a lot and even though I do too, I still want to do things like go away for the weekend, or here or there, and all he wants to do is rest. I feel like Im going to have to sacrifice so much...I totally understand and am sympathetic to the fact that he works so much and wants to save money but still I feel whiny

You have a GOOD MAN on your hands, and shouldnt be whining at all. If he wanted to piss all of your money away, go away every weekend, and spend on things you dont need, then I would sympathize with you. He is working hard towards giving you both a great future, and that is certainly not grounds for complaining. You have a whole life to live, you just finished planning a wedding, HAD a wedding, and now you are bored?

Treasure that man, at least he isn't a lazy frivolous spender.

I always used to get annoyed with my husband because he never wanted to do anything, and "save money". Looking at all the things we have now, he knew what he was talking about.