What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

this obviously would have been her first mothers day. I had already bought her a coffee mug with a the baby's bith announcement picture on it & it says "I became a new Mommy on & the Date"
I had ordered that a coule of months ago.

Message edited 4/24/2009 8:52:09 AM.

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

This is a tough one.
Maybe go over to her place and hunker down for the day, make an amazing meal, relax and remember that beautiful little baby girl.
I can only imagine if I were her, I'd really just want to do nothing, but I do know that I'd probably want to be with my own mom.

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

This is a tough situation. I think maybe going out with her to the grave and placing flowers,, lunch and some alone time?

I am not sure. I hope that the two of you have a nice day anyhow.

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

I think you should still acknowledge your daughter as a Mom. The Mother's Day after I was no longer pregnant from losing my 1st child, I got Mothers Day cards, and I got a mother's day plant. It meant the WORLD to me that I was still recognized.

I saw a poem on LIF that I carry around with me in my wallet. Again, I am so very sorry.

A Mothers Day Wish From Heaven
by: Jody Seilheimer

Dear Mr. Hallmark,
I am writing to you from heaven, and though it must appear
A rather strange idea, I see everything from here.
I just popped in to visit, your stores to find a card
A card of love for my mother, as this day for her is hard.

There must be some mistake I thought,
every card you could imagine
Except I could not find a card, from a child who lives in heaven.
She is still a mother too, no matter where I reside
I had to leave, she understands, but oh the tears she's cried.

I thought that if I wrote you, that you would come to know
that though I live in heaven now, I still love my mother so.
She talks with me, and dreams with me;
we still share laughter too,
Memories our way of speaking now, would you see what you could do?

My mother carries me in her heart, her tears she hides from sight.
She writes poems to honor me, sometimes far into the night
She plants flowers in my garden, there my living memory dwells
She writes to other grieving parents, trying to ease their pain as well.

So you see Mr. Hallmark, though I no longer live on earth
I must find a way, to remind her of her wondrous worth
She needs to be honored, and remembered too
Just as the children of earth will do.

Thank you Mr. Hallmark, I know you'll do your best
I have done all I can do; to you I'll leave the rest.
Find a way to tell her, how much she means to me
Until I can do it for myself, when she joins me in eternity.

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

she's not staying at her place & there isn't any of the baby's things left there anyway. They are all stored for now. More at my house but stuff she hadn't used.

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

I agree with the others. Still acknowledge the day by sending a card and flowers/plant. Maybe plant a tree in her honor somewhere?

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

I can't imagine how hard this must be for her, you and your family.
I would put together a care package. Some of the mommies from FF recommend the books:

An Empty Cradle, a Full Heart: Reflections for Mothers and Fathers After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death

Empty Arms: Coping After Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death

Hello from Heaven!

They are books on m/c and infant loss. These are supposed to be the best ones. I would say maybe a book some comfort foods (cholcolate)
And I can't remember where I saw it but I know there is a little bear with angel wings that has I love my mommy on its front.

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

I think you should do a spa thing with her. Just the 2 of you. Something relaxing.

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

I am so sorry, I misread the post!! How insensitive my initial reply might have seemed...EEK.
I think a spa day would be perfect!!

Message edited 4/24/2009 9:32:27 AM.

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

Jodi -

My Forever Child has some beautiful jewelry - the necklace with the baby's footprint is a popular item with mothers who have lost their children that I know.
I also love my bracelet with his name and birthstone on it.

I also loved getting:

A star named after my son with the International Star Registry

An engravable memory piece with her name and birthdate on it

Maybe earring with her daughters birthstone?

To be honest, she may be too emotional to be out on Mother's Day to truly enjoy anything else you plan. Maybe a drive down to the beach to remember her precious daughter?

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

Start a tradition of sorts to remember...

I lost a set of twins in March of 1993. (They lived for about an hour a piece before God took them home)

Every year since then my mother gives me 2 of something every year on what would have been their birthday. In the beginning it was Mother's Day, My birthday, Christmas, etc.....now it's just on their birthday.

It was nice though in the beginning to get them every occassion b/c it was a reminder that someone remembered them. Remembered how much I missed them. Remembered how much they were loved...etc. All without words.

I hold those things very dear to me...

Im often asked "what can I do" by people who know someone who has lost child. I always tell them that the best thing that they can do is to remember...mostly b/c we can never forget...it's nice to know others do too.

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

Can you start a memorial garden in the backyard? Or maybe plant a tree in memory of the baby with an angel plaque?

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

A few things that helped us after we lost our son:

Doodles idea of a necklace or charm from MyForeverChild.com - her work is beautiful and I love my necklace with Rogan's footprints.

My family chipped in and purchased a memorial bench to put in the backyard. I truly love it and it's a nice memory.

DH's family bought us a cherry tree which we put near the bench...and I also love the tree.

If it would be better for you guys - you may want to "adopt" a tree in a park. You could also purchase a brick in a memorial garden in the baby's name.

So sorry for your loss...

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

La Belle Dame

I bought two beautiful forget-me-not necklaces for family members who lost their babies last year. They wear them everyday.

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

I can't imagine what she, and you, are going through.

What i would do is ask her, what do you need? If she doesn't know, I would just plan to spend the whole day with her. She may want to sit home and talk about the baby. She may want to cry. She may want to forget that its mother's day. But whatever she wants (even if she doesn't know what it is herself), just being there and being available to do anything she wants is the best thing you can do.

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

I love the idea of getting a planting a tree in her daughters memory.
when i was in middle school, our neighbor ( my moms good friend) lost her 14 month old daughter to drowning. it was horrible time, and all the neighbors put in a bought a tree that they planted in their yard to remember their daughter. A couple years after she died, the family ended up moving to a new house- and they actually took the tree with them to plant in their new yard. Its a nice way to remember their daughter

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

i definitely love the ideas on this thread about you two just getting together and either going out or maybe staying in and making a big meal.

maybe rent some movies and just enjoy each other? you can visit the grave of her little baby and then just take the day to relax and try and comfort one another.

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

I love all of these ideas & love some of these sites.

I am sure I will see her on Mothers day as she is stayying at my moms & I am sure we will all be together somehow. I will also see her tonight so I will talk to her.

but will do some more shopping.

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

these are all great idea.

I just wanted to add that I am so very sorry. God Bless your family, and your granddaughter in heaven.

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

Posted by babymakes3

La Belle Dame

I bought two beautiful forget-me-not necklaces for family members who lost their babies last year. They wear them everyday.

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

I haven't been on here for a while so I missed the horrible news. I am so sorry for your daughter's loss

Re: What should I do for my daughter for Mothers Day?

I don't even have any suggestions but I want to offer to you and your DD.