What to do......

So your thoughts appreciated.

I have been psyching myself up to do my first IVF the past 4 weeks - it was a big decision as we are self pay. I thought I would have it all done and know if I am pregnant or not by the 15th to 20th of Dec. - in time for the holidays to celebrate or have 2 days to be absolutely miserable, then pick myself up and "celebrate Christmas w/family".

The one time I am excited to get my period it is 5 days late and I still haven't gotten it - no I am not pregnant. I suspect its my nerves or the universe or the moon!whatever...

The problem is: when I count out the dates on the calendar of starting the pill, then shots with a 10 day period, then R and T, my Beta day is smack around Christmas day.

I have 2 sisters, 1 boyfriend and a 4 year old nephew coming to stay on the 20th until the 29th....a lot of prep and nervous excitement usually happens the week before as we run around cleaning, sorting, etc.

I know I am supposed to be positive and what a great Christmas present to myself but what if it doesn't work and I get a negative on Christmas day or eve? After paying $12,000+, the shots, the hoping all over again, I know it will hit me hard.

What to do...what to do.....My sister is also doing IVF right now so she could be arriving for the holidays either pregnant and thrilled or miserable b/c it didn't work. And what if I then get a positive and hers didn't work and then she has an even shitter Christmas?

The thought of postponing it sucks.......but I am trying to be logical. And reasonable. And I want to be in the best space when I do it and I just can't imagine my nerves in the TWW and getting the house ready for the Christmas madness.

For those who have done IVF, what do you think? I could wait until my next cyce, which I guess will be mid dec. and I could start the pill protocol over Christmas week, only bumping me back 1 month.

Thanks guys....I cannot believe my body is doing this - the irony of it all.

Re: What to do......

well....I have never done IVF, but if this last IUI didn't work (I'm half way through my 2WW) we will be moving to IVF. I personally, would not delay any time at all...but that is just me.

However, if I haven't gotten my period yet by 12/25, i'm not sure that I would test that day. Our last IUI, (obviously a BFN) I was devastated.... More so then when I finally got a BFP but it turned out to be ectopic. I don't know why, I was just inconsolable. I wouldn't want to be like that on xmas day so I would just wait one day to test.

If it is negative, maybe it would make you feel better to have your sister there to help you cope since she understands how hard it is?

I don't know, its a tough call, but I would probably go forward with it...JMO

GOOD LUCK!

What to do......

I would say postone. I know the mood that your in can totally influence the cycle. Calm is important and one thing the holidays can do is cause crazyness! Best wishes!

Re: What to do......

I am waiting to do my third IVF until after Christmas for that weekend. After having so many disappointments i couldn't handle another right before the holidays. Good luck with your decision!

What to do......

I would postpone simply because you do not want any added stress when you do IVF, that process is stressful enough. I think postponing it the month to go in with a clear head and positive thoughts without the added pressure of the holidays would be much better, for me.

What to do......

Things with IVF are unpredictable so you may wind up stimming longer or shorter depending upon how you respond to the meds. Also, you do not know how your recovery will be after the ER, which is 14 days before the beta. I know some women are good to go the same day, but I felt awful for 3 days and that would have been a pain around Christmas time when so much needs to be done. It is definitely annoying to postpone a cycle, but in the end, it may be worth it. We waited an extra cycle due to meds my DH was on and wound up with our BFP.

As for beta on Christmas, I am pretty sure your RE will not be open that day. The only day my RE is closed is Christmas.

Good Luck!

What to do......

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I am leaning towards doing it......I.met with my therapist (i know, so cliche) this morning and she pointed out trusting the process and letting go of control...start dates, etc. Let go and let god. I have been preparing for this and Christmas will be what it will be, depending on how I write the script. Maybe the distraction of christmase could be good for the tww

Message edited 11/16/2013 1:15:16 PM.

Re: What to do......

Having gone through 2 fresh IVF cycles and 2 frozen my recommendation would be to postpone. It's an incredible stressful process and so are the holidays...the thought of having to deal with both at the same time would just be too much for me...you don't want anything distracting you from the holidays or the IVF process. I get what your therapist says, but why added stress...what's one more cycle,...but that's just my opinion...whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck and hope you get your BFP!

What to do......

Its a tough decision. I have had 3 failed IVFs and it plain SUCKS. I was very sad both times but it was out of my hands. Going into it I have the mind set of its not guaranteed to work. Unfortunately not all IVFS work and if you are gonna find out results right around xmas then you have to be aware that there is a possibility it doesn't work. Why not just wait until the day after xmas to test or get your beta? If you are on progesterone you most likely won't get AF anyways. I wouldn't get a BETA or test on xmas eve or xmas. This IVFs BETA was on DHs bday and I waited until after we went out to dinner to listen to my voicemail from my RE with my results. I'm glad I did bc I didn't want to ruin his bday. Do what you think you will be able to handle. Hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised and have the best xmas gift ever!

Re: What to do......

it is all not black and whitee,my protocol was changed mid way 3 times

i was supposed to be on bcp for 2 weeks,ended up 3

i stimmed for longer than they thought

retrieval was supposed to be on a friday,thursday it was pushed ot the monday

u never know,i would not postpone

What to do......

Hmmm I don't want to ignore what everyone is saying here as it's all true. Ohh but to wait seems awful as well. The thought of going into the holidays with no shot at all of being pregnant really depresses me too. I have cleared my work schedule and we turned down hosting thanksgiving to keep things light so we could focus on ivf. I know ivf is not guaranteed....I am so curious to see how I respond to the meds and how many follies then embryos we will have....I have it in my head that an FET as step 2 is a reality. I did 6 iuis.....each crushingly sad. What was worse was after the 6th feeling like I didn't have any more options bc at that time I couldn't conceive of doing ivf. I thought it was all over and tried to convince myself I could be ok with not being a mom. After 2 1/2 months it became very clear that I can't let the dream go. I was so depressed and couldn't see my future. Now I can and I have hope again because i feel i do have a chance with ivf and that thanks to this board and the support and insight and some facing of fears i am strong and ready to roll.
The battle between Emotion and desire versus logic and sensibility.....