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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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What to say...
Okay, here's the deal.
Tomorrow, we are having a baby shower for one of the women in my dept. She's a friend and I've decided to $uck it up and go to the shower.
BUT...since my DH and I both work at the same place and have been married for over a year, I KNOW that someone is going to publicly say, during the shower, "So you guys are next, right??"
How do I gracefully get out of that, knowing that:
1. I have a lousy poker face and won't be able to mask my upset.
2. I have to continually work with these people.
Suggestions for a response?
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Posted 4/19/06 11:23 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: What to say...
I would say some of the following things to coworkers who asked....
"Do you know something I don't?"
"We are thinking about it."
"We are really enjoying married life now, we'll see what happens in the future."
Big hugs 
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| Posted 4/19/06 11:34 AM |
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mrsmck
Be a big girl!
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: What to say...
Can you just smile and say "We're working on it" ??
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| Posted 4/19/06 11:36 AM |
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redstar
Delay is not denial
Member since 5/05 2220 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: What to say...
Yeah I do something similiar to what Donna said. I usually say very little and just answer with "who knows"...and look like I rather change the subject.
I really dread that question. It is usually asked by people who you aren't even close to.
Good luck Lauren, you are very brave for going and I hope that you are rewarded by not having to answer anyone's ignorant questions.
Message edited 4/19/2006 11:41:50 AM.
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| Posted 4/19/06 11:41 AM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: What to say...
Posted by mrsmck
Can you just smile and say "We're working on it" ??
And then ignite the bump watch?? No way!!
They would start asking more blatantly and excessively then. You must work with nice people who know when to back off!!
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| Posted 4/19/06 11:48 AM |
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Red
spring is in the air
Member since 11/05 2688 total posts
Name:
helen
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Re: What to say...
your best (ie most politically correct) response would be to shrug it off. Or you could jsut say "actually we're seeing a reproductive endocrinologist, would you like to know more?" but thats a bit biotchy
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| Posted 4/19/06 11:50 AM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: What to say...
Posted by newcomer
your best (ie most politically correct) response would be to shrug it off. Or you could jsut say "actually we're seeing a reproductive endocrinologist, would you like to know more?" but thats a bit biotchy
I so wish!! 
I guess you're right, I can shrug it off.
Once I said "We have plenty of time." and the person started in on a rant about waiting too long is selfish and wrong to the kids.
Ummm...thanks! 
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| Posted 4/19/06 12:09 PM |
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mrsmck
Be a big girl!
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: What to say...
Posted by leighla
Posted by mrsmck
Can you just smile and say "We're working on it" ??
And then ignite the bump watch?? No way!!
They would start asking more blatantly and excessively then. You must work with nice people who know when to back off!!
Howabout "We've been trying, but it hasn't been easy."
good luck whatever you decide....
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| Posted 4/19/06 12:19 PM |
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: What to say...
I would just say "we've been trying" that should shut them up, but dont expect the worse about going to the shower.
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| Posted 4/19/06 12:35 PM |
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juju
Welcome to the World!
Member since 5/05 6747 total posts
Name:
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Re: What to say...
What I usually say excitedly, "We are working on it! We can't wait!"
But, deep down inside, I want to crawl and cry!
I hate to make a situation awkward.....so I just play along. Good Luck! Tell us how it goes!
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| Posted 4/19/06 1:28 PM |
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casey31
Mommy of 3!
Member since 5/05 2967 total posts
Name:
Mommy to two boys and a girl
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Re: What to say...
Good luck Lauren- I am impressed that you decided to go. I hope nobody is nosy and you have a nice time!
Maybe say something like....we plan to start trying next year....that way, it won't ignite a "bump watch" but then they can't call you "selfish" 
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| Posted 4/19/06 1:31 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: What to say...
I find that question soooo rude. I would just say, "That is very personal" and end it right there. You don't want a boss or a higher-up to over hear you talking about having a baby because when promotions come up you could be looked over in fear that "she will be out on maternity soon and maybe not coming back".
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| Posted 4/19/06 1:32 PM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: What to say...
I hate when people used to ask all the time. I always said "When it happnes, it happens!!."
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| Posted 4/19/06 1:33 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: What to say...
Posted by michele31
I find that question soooo rude. I would just say, "That is very personal" and end it right there. You don't want a boss or a higher-up to over hear you talking about having a baby because when promotions come up you could be looked over in fear that "she will be out on maternity soon and maybe not coming back".
Honestly, I like this answer. Yes, it may sound biotchy but it really is no one's business and I agree you don't want to be looked over.
Keep your chin up Lauren. I won't be going to any of the FOUR baby showers in my school this spring. I just put money in the hat and sign the card. I think a few people are on to my situation because I've been out so much and needed subs.
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| Posted 4/19/06 2:15 PM |
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Red
spring is in the air
Member since 11/05 2688 total posts
Name:
helen
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Re: What to say...
How was the shower???
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| Posted 4/20/06 4:33 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: What to say...
Posted by newcomer
How was the shower???
Thanks for asking.
It was okay. Only one touchy point when someone said "Okay, so who's the next shower we have to have..." and turned to look at me and wink. 
But my good friend (who knows what I've been going through and just had a hysterectomy herself) jumped in and said "Are you telling us you are pregnant?"
And the evil woman just backed down.
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| Posted 4/20/06 6:54 PM |
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Red
spring is in the air
Member since 11/05 2688 total posts
Name:
helen
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Re: What to say...
Posted by leighla
But my good friend (who knows what I've been going through and just had a hysterectomy herself) jumped in and said "Are you telling us you are pregnant?"
And the evil woman just backed down.
Good for her
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| Posted 4/20/06 10:07 PM |
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casey31
Mommy of 3!
Member since 5/05 2967 total posts
Name:
Mommy to two boys and a girl
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Re: What to say...
Posted by leighla
Posted by newcomer
How was the shower???
Thanks for asking.
It was okay. Only one touchy point when someone said "Okay, so who's the next shower we have to have..." and turned to look at me and wink.
But my good friend (who knows what I've been going through and just had a hysterectomy herself) jumped in and said "Are you telling us you are pregnant?"
And the evil woman just backed down.
serves the nosy wench right! 
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| Posted 4/21/06 7:29 AM |
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