What would the punishment be for hurting another child?

knowing better than to be doing what they were doing that caused someone to get hurt. For example DS loves to hug his cousin (they are both just about 4), but he hugs her and sometimes hugs her and pushes into her knocking them both over. He's been told 100 times not too. Talked to, time-out, had things taken away

Feel free to give scenarios and ages. I consider myself to be somewhat strict when it comes to my child, but I find myself wondering if I should be doing something different. I don't have any sisters or friends who I feel I would want to get this advice from. I'm looking for suggestions so I can evaluate what I'm doing and see what I can do differently.

Also, how do you handle it when your child is not treated fairly by a friends child and your friend doesn't really do anything about it. For example you go to a play date the other child is playing with something that has more than enough to share, but they don't want to and the parent doesn't have them share. How do you explain that to your DC?

Re: What would the punishment be for hurting another child?

In the last scenario, if it's my kid not sharing I tell them I'll take the toy away if they can't share-and then I do. If the other person's kid not sharing I'll tell DD to play with something else, that it's the other kids turn and hope that the other mom makes her kid share eventually. Although at age 4 I might tell them they need to work it out on their own. I do that with some friends already and it seems to work.

Re: What would the punishment be for hurting another child?

I'm not a parent yet, but I do teach Kindergarten- are they doing it to hurt the cousin or are they so excited to see the cousin that they are "overwhelmed" with emotion? It it is the latter maybe prompting and modeling the "right" ways to hug may help, as well as a reminder before they go into the "hug".

As far as the other child not sharing, I would say "Billy is choosing not to share so why don't we go play something else and maybe he'll play later"

Re: What would the punishment be for hurting another child?

Re: What would the punishment be for hurting another child?

Bump

Re: What would the punishment be for hurting another child?

With the hug, I would anticipate the issue and walk him thru the greeting. Maybe you go first, Ryan watch how I give Suzy a hug. Then let him go and separate them before it gets out of hand LOL

With sharing someone else's toy, I would say, maybe we can find something else to play until kevin wants to give you are turn. If kevin doesn't I would just say it must be really special to him and try to let it go if the parent doesn't get on board and enforce sharing. If it is a pattern with that child then I would skip playdates over there

Re: What would the punishment be for hurting another child?

Re: What would the punishment be for hurting another child?

Re: What would the punishment be for hurting another child?

It depends, if it is hugging just out of excitement than I dont think its a punishable offense. I would just demonstrate and practice how to give nice hugs.

As for the sharing, at 3 and 4, I dont force sharing. They are still learning this skill, so I dont force it. I will suggest it, if my DC or the other doesnt want to share, I will give the one who wants a turn an alternate toy to play with. I dont want the suggestion of sharing to have a negative association such as getting in trouble or losing your toys bc then they will never want too.

Re: What would the punishment be for hurting another child?

Posted by SweetCaroline

Posted by MaMaTeenie

Posted by SweetCaroline

With the hug, I would anticipate the issue and walk him thru the greeting. Maybe you go first, Ryan watch how I give Suzy a hug. Then let him go and separate them before it gets out of hand LOL

I have tried doing this for quite sometime now, but the behavior is still there. Should I do more now?

Obviously he doesn't mean to hurt her, but can can. I know Ryan was doing this (his own fault) and super hugging his cousin. They both fell over and Ryan clocked his head into a chair so hard it knocked the wind out of him.
Honestly, he is old enough to get that he can hurt her, so I would do more if the behavior continues. Is it just at the greeting, or you catch it throughout the day?