When family is flying in--when should they come?

Stepmom actually asked me if we wanted them to come to help out (what a nice consideration) and I said of course. Now the dilemma is when should they come?

My dad will have to go away on business again in Jan, so I guess he wants to put in for the time to come here first so the business trip works around that.

I'm guessing right after the new year, that way if she's early--I'll already be home and need the help, if I go around my due date of Jan 4, they will be here, and if I go late....at least I'll have a clean house and food stashed that Stepmom would cook!!

Re: When family is flying in--when should they come?

Thats just how I felt, my parents are flying in the day before my due date because a) my mother really wants to be at the birth of her first grandchild b) as I am so far from home the support will be great, and c) like you, if I am waiting for this baby to come at least I will have some meals cooked and a clean house.

Its a tricky time of year to have a baby, Christmas Time (I am due on the 29th December) also because where I live in the UK, everything shuts down for that time between Christmas and New Years...so you never really know when to have people fly in. I am going to have my parents around for about 3/4 weeks and my sister will fly in from LI around 3 weeks later.

Either I will love having the family around...or really really regret it!

Re: When family is flying in--when should they come?

I personally didn't like having everyone there right when we got home. When I was pregnant I thought I would but that wasn't the case.
My mom lives here and DH's parents were scheduled to come in the week after my due date. Perfect except I was 5 days late so when we got home from the hospital everyone was here for a week and my mom would spend a few nights.
Everyone was so helpful and I am so grateful but it was so hard sharing the baby with everyone and I know I didn't do a very good job of it. I would have preferred for DH and I to have the first week home alone and to then have guests. You can always cook ahead of time and freeze or get take out and then have people help the following week.
For me I was very emotional and it was just all a bit overwhelming.
I think you said DH won't be able to be home with you at all though so in your case having help right away might be nice.

Re: When family is flying in--when should they come?

My MIL flew in from Israel 3 days before my due date. The downside is that towards the end I was HIGHLY irritable and emotional and I snapped at her way too many times. Also, she was so anxious for Alex to come out that I felt so much pressure from her! Every morning I'd wake up, walk downstairs and she would ask, well??? It was a little frustrating. BUT, on the flip side, I don't think I would have had it any other way because on the other hand because she flew in a little early she was there for when Alex was delivered. She's STILL thanking me for letting her share in the experience! Not only that, I think I would have had a nervous breakdown if she wasn't there the first three weeks when we came home. I had no idea what I was doing, I was in so much pain from the c-section and breastfeeding and I could barely take care of myself. My MIL made all my meals for me, did all the laundry, cleaned the house, and took Alex off my hands for a few hours when I needed some rest. It was so unbelievably helpful. When she finally left three weeks later I bawled my eyes out!

Re: When family is flying in--when should they come?

My MIL flew to Ireland on April 6th, it was 5 days after my due date. When she booked it I wish she would have waited in case I was late. Luckily he was born on 3/31 and it was such a big help to have her there. I thought that I wasn't going to want anyone's help but it was so nice to have someone cook, clean and do the food shopping. I would say definitely pick a date about a week after you are due, this way if you are early or on time you have a few days by yourself and if you go a little late she will still be there to help out after the baby is born.

Re: When family is flying in--when should they come?

thanks for all your input...while I'm not sure about having people here....SIL lives 45 minutes away. I'm very close to my dad and this would be the first time they've come to visit us since we moved down here in 2004.

I just want my daddy around for awhile to share in this. Plus my step mom is a GREAT cook and SUPER clean, so I'll appreciate all she'll do!

Re: When family is flying in--when should they come?

At first I didn't want my mom here until after the birth, so I made her purchase her ticket a week after my due date. I ended up being a week late and going into labor the day after she got. Intially I didn't want her in the labor room, but I had a pretty hard labor and was glad my mom was there for the support.

She was a complete lifesaver when we got home. DH had to go back to work 3 days after he was born, so it was really nice to have her here. She cooked, cleaned and took care of the baby when I needed to sleep or shower. When I wanted to be alone with the baby I would just go upstairs with him and no one would bother us. My ILs live nearby and were also great about giving us space.

It's totally a personal preference. You know how your family is and if think they might get on your nerves don't have them come too early.