When other children hit your child?

What do you do? My friends daughter pushes kids that are smaller then her, so my boys alwasy get pushed down and wind up hitting ther faces or eyes on whatever toy they currently have.

It really upsets me that she does this, and she has to say sorry and hug them, but her hugging knocks them down half the time. The girl is not removed from the situation at all, and pretty much if she hits, all she has to do is say sorry.

Also, a comment was made about how good her daughter was since she only pushed once and it took her over an hour to do that. Like that was an accomplishment.

Message edited 11/27/2006 3:51:19 PM.

Re: When other children hit your child?

how old is she?

Re: When other children hit your child?

23 months

Re: When other children hit your child?

I'd trip her when her mom turns her back. Just kidding, obviously!! Seriously, you need to speak with your friend candidly about your concern. How old is her daughter?

Try to think ahead to when they're a bit older and the boys tag team her for revenge!!

Just saw... she's 23 months. It may just be a phase.

Message edited 11/27/2006 3:57:51 PM.

Re: When other children hit your child?

See if my boys were to hit, I would pull them out of the situation. I am not talking 20 minute time outs, but removing them so I can tell them it is not right. I also would not act like I am proud of my child for only hitting once. Which actually I found out today ti was 2 maybe 3 times.

Kathy - maybe I should trip her, or her mom for that matter.

Re: When other children hit your child?

I know it is not fun to see you kids get pushed around. Seeing that she is 23 months though it is a stage she is going through. My daughter is going to be 2 next month and was doing this to my little niece. I was mortified!!! I am sure your friend is trying to disipline but may be embarassed. I actually used to get upest when my older niece did this to my little girl last year. But know I totally understand that kids that age do that and do break out of it eventually. If it bothers you that much you should say something to your friend but believe me she feels worse about it I am sure. ha ha.

Re: When other children hit your child?

Re: When other children hit your child?

Shannon - I really don't think she cares. She feels that her daughter just pushes and is proud that it only happened once. She said it several times and then told her husband the same thing when he came home. She has not once apologived to me, she jsut makes comments that her daughter is a pusher, but only does it to kids smaller then her, like that makes a difference.

It upsets me because it is not like the boys didn't care, they got hurt and were screaming!

Re: When other children hit your child?

Posted by My2Boys

I would do the same in terms of removing him from the situation. It is weird that the mom is proud though. Can you avoid them? Trip the mom. Not the baby.

Re: When other children hit your child?

Posted by Michelle

Posted by My2Boys

I would do the same in terms of removing him from the situation. It is weird that the mom is proud though. Can you avoid them? Trip the mom. Not the baby.

I think I am going to avoid them.

Re: When other children hit your child?

Well I am sure Kevin deserved it! That child is an angel, he has never done anything to my boys! I think I overheard him say that Kevin is a poopy face!

Re: When other children hit your child?

Re: When other children hit your child?

He said it not me!

Re: When other children hit your child?

Actually it does sound like an accomplishment if her daughter is in a hitting phase. 23 months isnt that old, and its really not an age where she has good social skills. Especially if shes not talking that much, kids that age cant say whats bothering them, arent generally good at sharing and certainly dont understand feelings yet. And even if they did, they cant verbalize it. Some kids are more aggressive than others so Im sure personality factors in. I guess what Im saying is shes not that big, even though much bigger than your boys. With that said, your kids dont deserve to be punching bags either. My kids were never hitters or biters so Im only saying what I would probably do if they were. Watch them like a hawk, give them a firm no, make them apologize, give a time out and if none of that works, I'd leave or have my friend leave if it was at my house. Until my child understood better or passed the phase, I probably wouldn't hang out and assume the kids are going to play great and chat with friends. I'd make it a priority to make sure she wasnt hurting anyone when a play session was going on. You can either talk to your friend about it or just not get together with her with the kids till her daughter is older and has *hopefully* passed the stage.

Re: When other children hit your child?

Well I always feel bad and tell my sister in law sorry when Jenna pushes my niece around but I also learned you do have to take care of the situation immediately. I do have to say though that Jenna only does this to my niece who is younger. Maybe try and find an article about pushing and hitting. Or try and refer her to some kind of book and say I was talking to someone who's child is a pusher and they reccommened this. Maybe she will get the hint. Is this her only child?

Re: When other children hit your child?

No she has a baby, and the thing that gets me, if she knows her daughter is a pusher, why she leaves the room all the time. Am I supposed to stop her from pushing?

I would be fine with it, if I felt like there were some sort of timeout, or taking her aside of some sort. I understand kids do stuff like this, but I feel like it should not be ignored and becuase my kids are smaller they should not have to get beat up everytime they see her. She speaks alot, so it seems like she can verbalize her feelings, but what do I know, I never had a 23 month old.

Re: When other children hit your child?

Does this happen in your home? In my home I make the rules. If someone hits/pushes, they have to sit in a chair. Rules are explained at the beginning of a playdate. I know all of sudden starting rules may be an issue. Maybe you could start it out with saying to the girl "We don't push."

The real way you're going to get through is to tell the friend that you'd love to see her but getting together with the kids is causing a strain because you don't want to see your sons get hit or pushed. Suggest seeing her w/o them. If she cares enough about the situation, she'll realize that she needs to step up the discipline.

Re: When other children hit your child?

It has not happened at my house, but at another friends house who doesn't have kids, and then at her house.

I did find out from another friend that she does this to her duaghter too, so I am thinking I really need to just limit their visits and watch them like a hawk.

I never thought I would get so uptight about my kids getting hit. It really gets me mad, LOL

Re: When other children hit your child?

My daughter is 22 months and going through the hitting stage right now.... I just make sure that I watch her when she is around other kids and I make her apologize and I tell her it's not nice to hit, etc. It is very embarassing sometimes because Moms look at ME like I'm the one hitting their child...It's a stage and most kids go through it.. the problem is that some parents don't work to correct it...however, I don't agree with disciplining other peoples children.. that is one of my biggest pet peeves.

Re: When other children hit your child?

My daughter is 23 months and luckily is not hitting, however she went thru a very long phase of biting and pinching. It was so embarrassing, but I watched her like a hawk and she would receive a 1 minute time out anytime she attempted to bite or pinch, even when she was as young as 15 months. Hitting is a normal phase, but that doesn't mean it should be allowed, I would probably avoid them for a while since the mom is not disciplining her daughter.

Re: When other children hit your child?

Maybe her mom needs to give her some sort of punishment in additio to making her apologize. That way she'll know what the consequences of her actions will be.

If that doesn't work then trip the girl...