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When people's perceptions of you change.
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When people's perceptions of you change.
If, by nature, you are always very sweet and kind, and are a doormat and let everything slide, when you finally flip the table and speak your mind, do you feel you are judged unfairly?
This can happen with family, friends, or work environments, of course, but do you find once you call people out on the BS or stand up for yourself, people end up re-directing things on you? Maybe by saying you have an attitude problem or they "aren't sure what's gotten into" you lately?
Why is this? and how can one deal with this? Is there a way to do damage control? Or should you not even bother?
Message edited 10/6/2010 12:35:28 AM.
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Posted 10/6/10 12:24 AM  |
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Sweetwine29
LIF Infant
Member since 9/10 158 total posts
Name:
Brandy
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Re: When people's perceptions of you change.
I think it's because they've never seen that side of you before. People get used to personalities, whether it be the loud, speak-your-mind type, or the quiet, shy, let-everything-roll type. When the personality changes, they're in shock, and the quickest response they have is to berate the person. I'm the second type, and there are definitely a few people who started calling me "queen" and "b*tch" after I started to stand up for myself. Nobody has EVER said anything like that about me, so I know it was only because I decided to step up and open my mouth. As for damage control, I just kind of don't care! I know the type of person I am, and the type I'm not. I just stay true to the person I am, letting them see that, but also speaking my mind when I feel like I want to!
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| Posted 10/6/10 7:50 AM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: When people's perceptions of you change.
I've had the opposite. Im pretty blunt almost to blunt sometimes. I do try to keep my mouth shut but i most times dont. I have had a few people I know tell me I was nicer than they thought. Which i guess you can take either way. I guess i would rather people think im b!tchy then think they can walk all over me. I know im b!tcty i know i have a nicer side too. Its just how some see you.
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| Posted 10/6/10 8:00 AM |
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1stimemom
Love my boys
Member since 2/08 8766 total posts
Name:
Mrs Dee
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Re: When people's perceptions of you change.
Posted by speakthetruth
This can happen with family, friends, or work environments, of course, but do you find once you call people out on the BS or stand up for yourself, people end up re-directing things on you? Maybe by saying you have an attitude problem or they "aren't sure what's gotten into" you lately?
Let me start by saying that I have had more than my fair share of drama, hurt, abandonment and overall bullsh!t with both family and friends.
This is exactly what happens with me. I am a loud, opinionated person who always tells the truth, is honest about my flaws and refuses to get "political". I wear my heart on my sleeve but do my best to protect it, KWIM? I don't twist my words and sometimes that comes off as harsh to people.
I find that it makes it easier for people to believe lies or 1/2 truths about me because I come off "rougher" and obviously less perfect than those who are two faced or twist stories, etc. because they always seem nice and perfect because they are fake.
I used to stress over it and get very upset and while it still bothers me, I have to just remember that the people that REALLY know me and love me (friends or family) will know the truth.
I have learned that you can't let those things really affect you because in the end, YOU are the only person you have to please. As long as you are happy and secure with the person you are, and stay true to that, that is all that matters.
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| Posted 10/6/10 8:08 AM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: When people's perceptions of you change.
Posted by JennZ
I've had the opposite. Im pretty blunt almost to blunt sometimes. I do try to keep my mouth shut but i most times dont. I have had a few people I know tell me I was nicer than they thought. Which i guess you can take either way. I guess i would rather people think im b!tchy then think they can walk all over me. I know im b!tcty i know i have a nicer side too. Its just how some see you.
me too
i've actually been rather hurt sometimes when people will let me know that they thought i was a b!tch when they first met me, then realize afterwards that i'm actually a nice person.
I don't do it on purpose.. it's just that i'm not a pushover and i have an opinion 
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| Posted 10/6/10 12:11 PM |
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IrishLasss334
I'll be there soon!
Member since 1/08 6549 total posts
Name:
Patty
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Re: When people's perceptions of you change.
I am usually pretty direct about things, if you ask me what I think I'm going to tell you. If you don't want to know the truth, don't ask.
That being said, I have, in the past, let things go and to "keep the peace". This year I had a life altering experience that made me change my views on who needed to be in my life and who didnt'. I have walked away from some people and not looked back. I don't have bad feelings for them, I just don't need people in my life that aren't truly there for me and I can't trust.
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| Posted 10/6/10 1:39 PM |
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