When you do get a BFP - what will you do?

Normally I am calling people while I have the stick in my hand (seriously, I do) but if I get pregnant again I think I will want to wait to see a heartbeat.

There are certain people I feel like I would have to tell (my parents, my best friends) and then I'm sure DH would want to tell his parents and siblings. That would be alot of people. Where do you draw the line?

I am thinking of trying to wait till I see a heartbeat but I don't know if I can do it.

What do you all plan on doing?

And, I'm asking this because I am confident that each and every one of us will have BFP's again in our future!

Re: When you do get a BFP - what will you do?

i'll tell my mom right away and most likely my sisters and brother too... they were an amazing support system for me both times... i'll wait till after the first tri to tell extended family...

Re: When you do get a BFP - what will you do?

Honestly, the joy of getting a BFP has been taken away from me. I'm not trying to be a debbie downer but even if I do get one I'll be more nervous than excited. I'll definitely wait until after 6 weeks to tell immediate family because both of my losses have been at 5 weeks. I'm not going to tell anyone else until the baby is delivered, lol.

Re: When you do get a BFP - what will you do?

Re: When you do get a BFP - what will you do?

Re: When you do get a BFP - what will you do?

I will tell my DH, my mom and dad, my best friend... that is it.

Last time DH was so excited he told the ENTIRE world the day we got the BFP even though I told him that a lot could go wrong...

We saw the HB at 6w4d and lost the baby at8 weeks.

I don't want to tell his mom /dad till after the first Tri b/c they live close to us and we live in a small town and 3 weeks after the miscarriage I still had people congratulating me on the pregnancy.... so I want to wait to tell them so they can then tell their friends.

Re: When you do get a BFP - what will you do?

I will keep it quiet for as long as I can but I may tell my Mom.I see my Mom a lot and I couldn't hide it last time between being tired and sick.

In April I took an hpt that came up positive and we were excited but very cautious. The feeling I had was, "at least we know I can get pregnant". That made me excited, thinking we made it past the first hurdle. The next day I went for a beta and nothing. I'm not sure if it was bad test (it was a CBE digital and I read a ton of complaints online about the same thing happening to others) or a chemical. I was upset but I only thought I was pregnant for a few hours and it was not nearly as disappointing as it was losing the baby at 9 weeks. I think it was because I didn't let myself get that excited in the first place. It was not the same as it was the first time.

I'm jaded and I know it.

Re: When you do get a BFP - what will you do?

DH and I talk about this all the time. He wants me to not tell anyone until I have a big belly. I think I'll wait until at least the 1st tri is over.

Re: When you do get a BFP - what will you do?

I told my parents and sister at 8 weeks - had my first sono and was feeling very confident. I had planned to tell the rest of my family and close friends at 10 weeks but that was not to be. I wont be telling anyone except for DH until 12 weeks the next time around and to be completely honest I think I will be a complete wreck for the entire pregnancy and instead of the joy I used to feel before each scan I know I will be sick to my stomach for each sono.

Re: When you do get a BFP - what will you do?

I plan on telling you girls...and my parents and DH's mom. THAT'S IT!!!

I'll wait until i get a sono with a strong heartbeat before i tell anyone else.
A blood test with good numbers would not make me feel good, my numbers were exactly where they should have been, and i had minimal cramping throughout my pregnancy
..i truly thought i had a healthy baby growing in my belly until my first sono app't.

Re: When you do get a BFP - what will you do?

Re: When you do get a BFP - what will you do?

I was thinking about this the other day....because I had such a late loss I don't know what we'll do.

I know everyone cares but I don't think I can take all of the questions they'll have....it'll make me even more on edge than I'll already be.

Re: When you do get a BFP - what will you do?

That is a really good question! Looking back, I think we told way too many people way too soon. We were so naive- b/c my first pregnancy went so smoothly I completely assumed this one would too.

Anyway, next time, I want to wait to at least confirm the heartbeat until we tell our parents and siblings, and until after 12 weeks or so to tell everyone else (friends, other relatives).

Re: When you do get a BFP - what will you do?

I'll answer this on a little bit of a flip side.

When we got pregnant the first time... we told both families pretty early on. I didn't make any big announcement but a good amount of friends knew about the pregnancy.

We had a HB at 9 weeks.... at around the 11 week mark there was no more HB and I had a missed miscarriage.

Telling family and friends wasn't so horrific for me. It gave me somewhat of a support system, which was really nice to have during such a low point in my life. I was actually glad that close friends knew what was going on with me and could be there for me.

When I thought about getting pregnant again, I didn't know what we would do... but a part of me knew we would probably tell the families at around the same time... I wasn't sure what to do about close friends. I figured I'd play it by ear. The nervous factor was a given... that I knew would always be there. Mc makes every subsequent pregnancy a jaded experience, and there's really no getting around it.. you've seen the worst that can happen.

When we did get pregnant again... I tried to hold off and not tell the families until we had a HB at the 6 week mark (I was seeing an RE at the time and he does weekly appts). DH told his parents really early, and his parents told siblings... so I felt guilty and told my family. Before long the families knew pretty early on. I told maybe 3 close friends as soon as I got the BFP. So alas I was in somewhat of the same predicament as last time. But telling people wasn't an anxiety for me... the being pregnant and outcome was!!

I was nervous for every single appointment... I had anxiety for days leading up to each appointment. As soon as the baby was on the sono machine and we saw a HB I felt better. But that only lasted for about 2 days before anxiety crept up on me again. It was a roller coaster. It was inevitable. Deep down though, I did feel an intuition that things would work out. Even with that it was nerve racking though. Eventually as weeks turn to months and months keep adding up it did get a little better. And especially when you can feel movements... that really helps the most (but even with that it's still scary)!! I had a lot of set backs in this pregnancy, so it's been quite a ride and hasn't always been easy. But all in all I never regretted telling anyone and the support has been great... during the good and bad times. I'm glad I told early on both times to be honest. I will say I waited until like 14 weeks to make the big announcement.

Message edited 6/4/2011 1:34:38 AM.

Re: When you do get a BFP - what will you do?

I'll probably cry from nervousness and paranoia

When I was pregnant with the triplets, I showed up at the LIRR to pick up my DH and it was the day we got a doubling beta. I showed up in tears, totally scared of having another loss. This time I just don't even know how I will handle it

Re: When you do get a BFP - what will you do?

No one will know. We are done, but if it ever happened again, it would be just us. I hate, hate having to explain a different outcome. So, this round will be at 12 weeks. This goes for all pRents and family and friends.

Re: When you do get a BFP - what will you do?

I know this is going to make me sound weird but I kind of wouldn't want to tell anyone until I was SO obviously pregnant. I'd rather just tell people I've been eating poorly and let them think it's weight gain!